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Redneck Repairs - It's those alcohol induced weekend repairs that gets me ROFL'n

Gonzo

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

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REDNECK REPAIRS
 
tp.gifThere’s some good ol’ boys out there who love to tinker on their cars every chance they get.  They're not necessarily Harvard scholars, nor are they from back in the hills or down some dusty dirt road.  They’re from every neck of the woods, and from every city street. They will tackle any problem out there, and usually have some really interesting ways 
of solving them.  Give these guys, or gals a few tools, a cutting torch, and a welder, and you might find a redneck in the making.  A little grinding with sparks a flying along with a few 2X4’s, and they'll soon have a new creation coming out of the garage. 
  
tp.gifWhen it comes to every day repairs, they have their own unique way of taking care of them, to say the least.  I'm not talking about the duct taped window with the split open garbage bag over it, or a pair of lock grip pliers for the blower switch. .. no, no, no... those kind of quick fixes are too common and don't even rate to be called a true redneck repair.  I'm talking about the ingenious methods of taking care of their car without the aid of a manual, common sense, or good judgment.  These are the true rednecks that blanket the country with the most hilarious methods of keeping their cars on the road that anyone could even imagine.  I’ve got a few examples… let’s see if you agree. 
 
tp.gifThe other day I was making my way home when I spotted an old pickup a few cars ahead of me.  It appeared to be hauling a load of scrap metal, but as I got closer it was clear this scrap metal was lashed onto the truck itself.   This guy had an old aluminum screen door laid across the back of the cab horizontally, and had it silicone sealed in place as well as wire straps in several places.  He was using it in place of the rear glass of the cab.  Not only did he have the glass window pushed up, he was also using the screen window to allow the breeze to enter his cab.  (It wasn’t hard to tell with the bits of paper getting blown up from the truck bed, and then sticking momentarily to the screen.)  Yep, I’d say there's no doubt, this guy is officially ...  a redneck.  
 
tp.gifA few years ago I had an old car come in for some front end work... boy, was it a pile of junk.  There wasn't a straight piece of metal on the car anywhere.  Talk about clearing the barn out of bailing wire, this guy had it everywhere.  The oddest thing was this piece of rope tied to each of the wiper blades which he had running through the open front windows.  I had to stop what I was doing, and ask him what the rope was for... he was eager to show me.  While sitting in the driver's seat he would pull the rope back and forth and his wipers would move accordingly.  Cleaver ain’t he?  … I guess so, his reasoning behind it seemed pretty sound…… the wiper motor froze up some time ago, and to avoid repairing it he came up with this little rig.  Can’t deny it… that's a redneck repair if I ever saw one.
 
tp.gifOh there's more...there’s always more redneck repairs out there.  Just hard to keep from looking at some of them sometimes; just makes ya shake your head at what they have created. Of course, there are these guys that fall in the category of real redneck engineers out there.  These suspender wearing-beer chuggin’ tool connoisseurs like to think of themselves as automotive structural re-engineers.  I've seen everything from a Pinto four feet off the ground with a complete 4WD set up under the chassis, to SUV's with the tops cut off like a convertible.  In fact one guy was using his revamped SUV as a way to haul his livestock around his farm.  The only time he would get it out on the highway was to fill it up with gas at the local station.  Once in a while he'd bring his pigs, goats, or whatever else he was hauling along for the ride. You guessed it, definitely... a redneck.
 
tp.gifSo what constitutes a redneck?  I suppose the best answer to that would be someone who dares to be different.  Someone who has enough “moxie” to attempt the impossible without any concern or care what anyone else thinks about their remake of their horseless carriage. They're out to take care of a problem, or a need they have, with the tools and scrap metal they have at hand, and by golly, they’ll get it done for sure.   I know I've done my share of redneck repairs in the past, and there's no doubt  I've got a bit of that redneck in me too.  I'm sure most of us do, just some of these good ol' boys just take it to the extreme.  
 
tp.gifWe've all probably seen the beer can strapped to the exhaust to keep it from leaking, the flashlights duct taped to the fenders, the chain and lock in place of the door locks, and of course the odd battery clamp.  That’s just amateur stuff compared to some of the professional rednecks out there.  These folks take care of business in their own special way. There's no end to their creativity, nor the ability to come up with something so weird or unique that you'll say, “Yep, that there is a redneck thru and thru.”  (I would just stand clear if one of them says… “Hey now, watch this.”)  
 
tp.gif Now, on occasion you'll spot some of the creations from these backwoods garages that will totally surprise you.  At a VW car show many years ago I saw an old type III Volkswagen where this creative genius took a V6 Pontiac Fiero motor, suspension and drive train, and somehow shoehorned it into place where the original motor and backseat were. You could practically change the plugs from the driver's seat…… it was that close to his head.  Did it work? You darn tootin' it worked.  Work so well he could stand the front end up as it shifted into second gear.  
 
tp.gifYa gotta love these redneck creations.  They make me smile; brings a chuckle out once in a while, too.  As a mechanic I'm generally skeptical of these lofty ideas they have, but as a spectator at a mud bog...I just love this stuff.  Give me some good old American ingenuity any day of the week.  
 
tp.gifThe one thing you can say for all those good old boys out there... these guys sure know how to have fun.   Just keep trickin' out them there vehicles and show em' off, ya hear.
 
  I've heard of other countries claiming they have some good ol' boys of their own, but they can’t hold a socket wrench up against a couple of good old home grown U.S. of A.  Rednecks, that's for sure.  The heart and soul of us all... … … …Rednecks - a true American original, and dang proud to be one myself.

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

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another busy week, no time to put together this weeks new story.... so... pull one out of the grave yard.  LOL   

still a good story.  

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

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26 minutes ago, xrac said:

Does this fancy wiring repair qualify?  Gonzo it may be a repeat article but it is still a good one. 

IMG_1544.JPG

IMG_1545.JPG

Yep, that there is quality work.

kenk Collaborator

kenk

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can you blame them for the redneck repairs? Especially nowadays where its so expensive for parts, I expect to see more redneck repairs on newer vehicles, with so much electronics on board. If they can find a way they will! Be on the lookout Gonzo! electronics hacks!

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

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7 hours ago, Joe Marconi said:

Truly a Gonzo Classic!  Humor with American pride! You can't get better than that!

 

 

I told the wife, "Hey, I'm a classic!" She said, "No, you're just an old fart." 

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    • Joe Marconi
      The Technician Shortage Is Our Fault, And It's Time We Own It
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      The Technician Shortage Is Our Fault, And It's Time We Own It
      Nearly every day, I hear shop owners complain: "There's a technician shortage. We can't find qualified people. There's no one out there." If that's true, then who's to blame?
      The industry? The schools? The government? I don't know how you feel, but who promised us an endless supply of qualified technicians?
      Another common complaint is that young people do not want to work in the trades. Well, if that were true, then why are other trades such as HVAC, electrical, and plumbing growing? What are they doing that the automotive industry is not? 
      Here's the reality we need to face: We do have a problem, but we shouldn't look for someone or any entity to rescue us. Not the government. Not the trade schools. Not the recruiting companies. No one owes us a workforce. If we want great people in our industry, it's up to us. At some point, we need to own up to the truth: Building a pipeline of qualified technicians is our responsibility.
      In this blog article, I will break down the key reasons we are in this situation today and what we, as an industry, can do to solve the technician shortage. Are you ready to look in the mirror?
      Have We Pushed Technicians Away?
      Let's take a look at flat-rate pay. True flat rate, which pays a technician only for the hours they produce, is a controversial pay plan that emphasizes high production levels and creates a competitive work environment that, if not properly controlled, can lead to increased mistakes and a decline in morale and team spirit. Additionally, the stress and physical demands placed on technicians as they age are not favorable to long-term employee retention. What do we do with technicians as they grow older into their fifties and begin to slow down? 
      I have heard all the arguments and pros and cons of flat-rate pay, and I am not going to judge any pay plan. Let the facts speak for themselves. True flat rate has changed in most areas around the country and has evolved into a pay plan that gives technicians some pay guarantee.
      Many shop owners have learned that team morale, along with the opportunity to earn income, is important to technicians and to the company's long-term success. But let me ask you: how many technicians have left or been pushed out over the years because of the old flat-rate pay system?
      Another issue is the workplace environment. I remember being grateful to be hired as a young technician at a local repair shop. While very thankful, the work environment was not ideal. The shop owner kept the bay doors open year-round (I am from New York) unless it rained or snowed. He felt that if the bay doors were closed, customers might think we were closed for business. We had no heat and no hot water. Many of the jobs were done outside, year-round,  in all types of weather. The starting pay was minimum wage, with no benefits, sick days, or vacation pay. 
      Now, again, I need to point out that I was truly grateful for the opportunity this shop owner gave me. I learned a lot working there, and the experience was pivotal in my career. But looking back, I wonder how many people were discouraged by these working conditions?
      While the physical demands of the repair workplace are daunting, perhaps even more critical is the culture. Too many of my generation shop owners preached the mindset of "my way or the highway." We were the business owners, after all. We started our companies, took all the risks, and provided jobs. Why shouldn't we be the ones to set the ground rules our way?   
      Many of us found over the years that the "my way or the highway" mentality was a sure way to isolate employees and make them more likely to look over the fence for greener grass. In other words, it led many technicians to seek employment elsewhere, where they felt they could be appreciated and recognized for their hard work. The issue, however, was that there wasn't much green grass around. Disappointment after disappointment, bouncing from repair to repair shop, eventually led to despair. So, I ask you: were workplace conditions a contributing factor in today's technician shortage?
      Another factor that we are all well aware of is the complexity of the modern automobile. When I started, the work was mostly physical, and you were required to master essentially three vehicle models: General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler. Let's fast-forward to today. The evolution of automotive technology, along with the extensive training and tools required, has outpaced the typical technician's pay compensation, with no clear career path. Again, leading to frustration and insecurity about the future.
      Here is the bottom line: people don't leave their job; they leave their experience. We must do a better job. 
      The News Isn't all Bad; Your Next Steps to Fix the Technician Shortage
      To fix the technician shortage, it will take a combined effort from everyone in the automotive industry, particularly automotive shop owners. Shop owners are in the perfect position to make the greatest impact, not only on their businesses but also on the future automotive workforce.
      First, shop owners must become better leaders and understand that their ultimate success is directly dependent on the people they assemble around them. Any shop owner who mistakenly believes they can build an empire solely on their abilities is destined for serious disappointment. Business owners who think like this will eventually plateau. Without the collective contributions from a team of qualified people, your business will stall; it will not continue to grow.
      Create a workplace that attracts top talent: a clean, professional, well-equipped facility designed to support productivity, teamwork, and a career, not just a job. Build a great reputation in your community by getting involved locally. Become the auto repair shop that people take notice of as "the" place to work.
      Next, shop owners must become more financially knowledgeable. Knowing your numbers and what you need to achieve for a strong bottom-line profit is essential to paying technicians the money they need and deserve. Profit will also allow you to compete with other trade industries by providing a benefits package that has real take-home value and security.
      When it comes to culture, this is where the rubber hits the road. People crave recognition, praise, and a sense of purpose. Despite what you hear, people are not just money-motivated. Once people feel secure in their financial situation, retaining and motivating technicians can only be achieved by connecting with them on an emotional level. You cannot show enough appreciation. Give out praise for a job well done as if your business depended on it, because it does.
      As technicians age, we need to have a place for them. Expecting a 58-year-old to perform like a 35-year-old is unrealistic. We need to be more focused on career pathing. Provide training, skill development, and coaching to develop leaders and mentors within our older workforce. While their bodies may have slowed, the knowledge they have gained is priceless. 
      Our future is dependent on young people entering our industry. We need to give more young people opportunities. Every shop owner across the country should consider hiring an apprentice, then build an apprentice training plan and career path for them. If every shop did this, we could solve the technician shortage within five years. Get involved with the trade schools and high schools in your area. Look into the NAPA Apprenticeship Program. Don't sit on your hands with this one. Do it today.
      Lastly, don't get left behind. Commit to ongoing training for all your employees. Keep up to date with tools and equipment tailored to your business model. Don't try to be all things to all people and all vehicles. Identify your core profile customer and the vehicles they drive, and become an expert on those vehicles and the services you offer.

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