Jump to content

Joke of the Day

Recommended Posts

Since it is Sunday and I am on my way to church I thought you might enjoy a religious story:


Here is the lost paragraph in GENESIS....


So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"


Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.


God said that he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, "This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion when ever you need it."


Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"


God replied, "An arm and a leg."


Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"


And the rest is history.



I read it to my wife... All I got was the "evil" eye.... I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight... thanx... thanx a lot. LOL She says it was a bargain for just a rib.... He should have ask for a little more... how about a toe or something....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

pinch me.... I'm dreamin'.... no, no, no don't wake me up... I'm enjoying the moment.... LOL


A Guy Fairy Tale


Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess...

Will you marry me?

The Princess said NO!!

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles

And went fishing and hunting and played golf

And dated women half his age

And drank beer and scotch

And had tons of money in the bank

And left the toilet seat up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

Ok, he did it the hard way, but does he still want 200 buck an hour??? LOL

A gynecologiost had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.


He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.


When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"


"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 9 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
  • 5 months later...
  • 4 months later...

An elderly fella was in a hospital room gathering his thoughts as he laid there with a breathing mask on. In walked a young nurse to check up on him.

She asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Through the breathing mask the young nurse heard, "Yes, are my testicles black?"


She was a little shocked, but being the dutiful nurse she was, she lifted the hospital robe and examined the old guys private parts.

"No," she said, "They're quite normal in color and very well proportioned I might add. Anything else you'd like me to do?"


The old man took a deep breath and pulled the mask away and said with a smile, "Thanks for the complements young lady. Been a long time since a pretty girl noticed,"he grabbed another breath from the mask, "Now, could you find out if my tests results are back?"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Have you checked out Joe's Latest Blog?

      I recently spoke with a friend of mine who owns a large general repair shop in the Midwest. His father founded the business in 1975. He was telling me that although he’s busy, he’s also very frustrated. When I probed him more about his frustrations, he said that it’s hard to find qualified technicians. My friend employs four technicians and is looking to hire two more. I then asked him, “How long does a technician last working for you.” He looked puzzled and replied, “I never really thought about that, but I can tell that except for one tech, most technicians don’t last working for me longer than a few years.”
      Judging from personal experience as a shop owner and from what I know about the auto repair industry, I can tell you that other than a few exceptions, the turnover rate for technicians in our industry is too high. This makes me think, do we have a technician shortage or a retention problem? Have we done the best we can over the decades to provide great pay plans, benefits packages, great work environments, and the right culture to ensure that the techs we have stay with us?
      Finding and hiring qualified automotive technicians is not a new phenomenon. This problem has been around for as long as I can remember. While we do need to attract people to our industry and provide the necessary training and mentorship, we also need to focus on retention. Having a revolving door and needing to hire techs every few years or so costs your company money. Big money! And that revolving door may be a sign of an even bigger issue: poor leadership, and poor employee management skills.
      Here’s one more thing to consider, for the most part, technicians don’t leave one job to start a new career, they leave one shop as a technician to become a technician at another shop. The reasons why they leave can be debated, but there is one fact that we cannot deny, people don’t quit the company they work for, they usually leave because of the boss or manager they work for.
      Put yourselves in the shoes of your employees. Do you have a workplace that communicates, “We appreciate you and want you to stay!”
  • Similar Topics

  • Our Sponsors

  • Create New...