Night Before Christmas - an apprentice helps Santa out

[Gonzo]

Twas the Night before Christmas

(Mechanic style)

 

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the service bay

Not an engine was stirring, just old Santa’s sleigh.

All the air hoses were hung, by the compressor with care,

The mechanics had the day off, I’m the only one there.

 

I was just an apprentice, but wanted to show St. Nick just what I knew.

My boss was all for it, said it was OK if I turned a few screws.

 

With visions of being a full time mechanic, dancing in my head

I was going to give it my best shot; I’ll fix this old sled.

 

I gave the key a twist, and listened in dismay,

That little red hot rod needed service, in such a bad way

 

Then from under the hood there arose such a clatter,

That even St. Nick had to ask, “So, what’s the matter?”

 

I flew from the driver’s seat and raised the hood in a flash,

Nearly stumbling off my feet, from my quick little dash.

 

The under hood light, glimmered onto the engine below,

The fan belt had broken, and a spark plug blew out a hole.

 

It’s something I can handle; I learned this stuff in school,

I’ll have this fixed up in no time; it only takes a few tools,

 

I started it up and all eight cylinders were firing away

Just a few minor adjustments and he could be on his way

 

That’s when I noticed, his sled was packed full of all sorts of toys…

He hadn’t finished his deliveries, to all the girls… and boys.

 

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot

 

Anxious he was, to finish his trip as soon as he could,

With my wrenches a flyin’, he knew that he would.

 

It was up to me, to get it fixed this very night,

He still had a long way to go, before it was daylight.

 

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.

 

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

I knew it was Christmas Eve, so I couldn’t say no,

 

He had a broad face and a round little belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

 

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

 

His sled was like new, after the job was all done,

Now that it’s fixed, he could get back to his run.

 

He reached into his huge bag,

and pulled a box out with a jerk,

Said he knew just how to thank me,

for all of my hard work,

 

I ripped open the present, and Oh, what a sight!

Snap On wrenches and sockets! Boy was he right!

 

As he pulled from the parking lot, he held the throttle to the floor,

Just to show off, he passed by the shop, once more,

 

This guy Santa, he’s a little strange, at any rate,

He had a name for every cylinder, in his little V8.

 

I could hear him shout, so loud and clear,

Naming off each cylinder, as if they could hear.

 

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!

 

I heard the tires screech, as he caught second gear,

Off to deliver those presents, some far, some near

 

Then, I heard him exclaim, just before he drove out of sight

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

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[Joe Marconi]

What a classic! I really enjoy this.

 

Gonzo, Thanks for all the great articles and all the great contributions you make all year long. I cannot thank you enough. It's members like you that have made ASO so successful and a great business resource for our industry!

[kenk]

Gonzo, I have heard this one before, but not arranged as such and with different words! Very good!

[Gonzo]

I found all kinds of versions of "Twas the night before Christmas" but not one for "mechanics" So, I made this one up on the spot. Thought it came out pretty good.

I think I'll add this to my Christmas rotation of stories. This one ... I think ... will be my favorite of them all.

 

Thanks for the comments,

[xrac]

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[Gonzo]

I enjoy telling these stories, and I'm glad to see so many people enjoy them

I'll keep writing... and maybe an occasional poem.

 

LOL thanks for the comments.

[Joe Marconi]

I found all kinds of versions of "Twas the night before Christmas" but not one for "mechanics" So, I made this one up on the spot. Thought it came out pretty good.

I think I'll add this to my Christmas rotation of stories. This one ... I think ... will be my favorite of them all.

 

Thanks for the comments,

You always find ways to top yourself! Amazing, truly amazing!

[xrac]

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[Gonzo]

Thanks Frank, I really appreciate it. I know Joe feels the same way. Working on cars is hard enough, working with people who don't understand the complexities of their car is another. If money was no option I'd probably still be fixing cars, because... it's what I like to do. Telling stories is a pass time for me, one that I truly enjoy.

 

Thanks again, and I'm sure I'll come up with a few more good ones along the way.

Gonzo

[Shopcat]

Awesome job, Gonzo. I read your article "Strange Requests at the Service Counter" yesterday at lunch in Underhood Service. I was hilarious and reminded me of some experiences I've had over the years. We need some levity in this business and your version of Twas the Night before Christmas is awesome. Thanks, and here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.