Quantcast
Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Royism

Roy was a long time employee who always had the strangest way of looking at things. Roy is a great guy, a little rough around the edges but a great guy none the less. On the other hand, if there was a job in the shop that needed that mechanical touch, he was the first one to take on the challenge.

 

If it was quitting time, or the shop slowed, he was the first one out the door. It was never a dull moment when he was around. You just never knew what he is going to say next. Sometimes it sounded like an old sailor who'd been on ship too long, other times he would go into song. You just never knew what was going to spring forth. For the most part, it didn't matter who was around, he was going to tell his version of his story with his usual flare. Of course, you had to sort through his vocabulary to get to the meaning of his latest yarns, but I found them rather entertaining and rather amusing at times.

 

For Roy, four letter words were adjectives, or sometimes verbs. I tend to forgive him for all that; I'm guilty of it too at times. I just don't have his colorful anecdotes.

 

I started to collect these anecdotes and off color sayings. I called them "Royisms". Roy had a way of coming up with one for just about any situation or any subject you can think of.

 

Here's a few of them. Oh, there's more, but I'd don't think the "adjectives" can be cut out of them and still be able to say it the way he does…. Roy, is truly a one of a kind.

 

 

 

Here are a few of my favorite "Royism's" that I can share, and believe me; it took some work to clean them up!

 

I'll give the definition first….then Roy's anecdote. Here goes:

 

If you needed to be extra careful while doing something;

 

Roy - "Like a toad walking" (I guess if a toad is walking, he's being careful…)

 

How to describe to someone who's flat broke, (usually Roy would say this about himself);

 

Roy - "So broke, I could fart in my pocket and still not leave a scent." (I love this one…)

 

Bolts, nuts, or anything that are stuck or hard to move;

 

Roy - "Tighter than Dick's hat band" (Dick's hat band? How did it get so tight?)

 

Something is about to fall apart, or something that's very loose;

 

Roy - "Like Maggie Mootie's pooty" (your guess as to what a pooty is)

 

Something that is hard to find;

 

Roy - "It's like looking for hen's teeth" (hmm, can't say as I've ever found any hen's teeth myself…)

 

When you really don't care about something;

 

Roy - "I couldn't give a rat's ass" (I'd like to know, how is it that you obtained a rats butt. Where did ya get it, and why in the world would you even have one to give away. The big question is; what will that rat do if you gave away his backside? … I just don't get it. There's an answer here… but I'm not sure now what the question was.)

 

Some absolutely useless item;

 

Roy - "Like a snow plow in summer" (Ok, a snow plow… it's not used much in the summer, I got it… So… what's useless in the winter time?)

 

When something is not really needed right away, but you would like to keep it handy and easily attainable;

 

Roy - "Park it in the north 40" (Only my Grandpa would park something in the north 40, but that was usually something he wasn't ever going to use anymore. Sometimes I wonder if Grandma wanted to put Grandpa out in the north 40.)

 

After he learned something new about a car, or saw something that didn't need any more explaining;

 

Roy - "Don't do any good to blink, seen enough the first time." (He's done, don't explain it again. It's not worth the effort.)

 

When asked about beer (his favorite subject);

 

Roy -"You should never drink and drive… … … … ya might spill some." (I'm sure Roy could put a few away on the weekend.)

 

Quitting time equaled;

 

Roy - "Beer thirty" (Too obvious…)

 

When he was sick, and not coming into work that day, he would call and tell me;

 

Roy - "I feel like Hammered sh$t!" (Now I'm asking a simple question here, how… um… did ya … um … figured out what hammered sh$t felt like? Hopefully not by example…)

 

Explaining an oil change to the new intern;

 

Roy- "An oil change is just like using the "john", it ain't over till the paper work is done."

 

Yep, that's Roy… quite a character.

 

Like I said, there are hundreds more… but I won't go there.

 

I'm sure a lot of us know a Roy, and I'm sure if you're like me, you've had to sort through their tales of tales. Amongst all the vernacular of phrases there's a heart of gold.

 

Even with his choice of comments he still was a good hand and truly a good friend. He doesn't work at my shop anymore, he moved back to his home town some time ago. He stops by now and then just to check up on me, and even then he'll spout out another phrase or two while he's here.

 

Everybody should know a "Roy" at least once in their lifetime. He's a different sort of character… one you'll never forget.

 

While putting together a story for this weekend I was going thru my various lists of ideas. I kept going back to this one that I started several years ago. I thought it was something everyone else would get a kick out of reading it. Let me know, I always love to hear from everyone. Gonzo


View full article

Posted

ROFL... no doubt this story will never get published... but it sure is funny. I've had this sitting around for a long time... it's not "magazine" material but for ASO... hey, it's a down right funny read. Thanx for the comments (Now wouldn't it be hillarious if one of my magazines picked it up... LOL)

 

Gonzo, this is the one that made me laugh: Roy- "An oil change is just like using the "john", it ain't over till the paper work is done." However, I am not usre that you can get a magazine to publish this one.

Posted

Roy would have said, "Ya gotta park under the right tree to get hit with an apple."

:)

Gonzo, we need more Roys in this world to put things in percpective. (How's that for a Royism?)

  • Available Subscriptions

  • Have you checked out Joe's Latest Blog?

         0 comments
      The Technician Shortage Is Our Fault, And It's Time We Own It
      Nearly every day, I hear shop owners complain: "There's a technician shortage. We can't find qualified people. There's no one out there." If that's true, then who's to blame?
      The industry? The schools? The government? I don't know how you feel, but who promised us an endless supply of qualified technicians?
      Another common complaint is that young people do not want to work in the trades. Well, if that were true, then why are other trades such as HVAC, electrical, and plumbing growing? What are they doing that the automotive industry is not? 
      Here's the reality we need to face: We do have a problem, but we shouldn't look for someone or any entity to rescue us. Not the government. Not the trade schools. Not the recruiting companies. No one owes us a workforce. If we want great people in our industry, it's up to us. At some point, we need to own up to the truth: Building a pipeline of qualified technicians is our responsibility.
      In this blog article, I will break down the key reasons we are in this situation today and what we, as an industry, can do to solve the technician shortage. Are you ready to look in the mirror?
      Have We Pushed Technicians Away?
      Let's take a look at flat-rate pay. True flat rate, which pays a technician only for the hours they produce, is a controversial pay plan that emphasizes high production levels and creates a competitive work environment that, if not properly controlled, can lead to increased mistakes and a decline in morale and team spirit. Additionally, the stress and physical demands placed on technicians as they age are not favorable to long-term employee retention. What do we do with technicians as they grow older into their fifties and begin to slow down? 
      I have heard all the arguments and pros and cons of flat-rate pay, and I am not going to judge any pay plan. Let the facts speak for themselves. True flat rate has changed in most areas around the country and has evolved into a pay plan that gives technicians some pay guarantee.
      Many shop owners have learned that team morale, along with the opportunity to earn income, is important to technicians and to the company's long-term success. But let me ask you: how many technicians have left or been pushed out over the years because of the old flat-rate pay system?
      Another issue is the workplace environment. I remember being grateful to be hired as a young technician at a local repair shop. While very thankful, the work environment was not ideal. The shop owner kept the bay doors open year-round (I am from New York) unless it rained or snowed. He felt that if the bay doors were closed, customers might think we were closed for business. We had no heat and no hot water. Many of the jobs were done outside, year-round,  in all types of weather. The starting pay was minimum wage, with no benefits, sick days, or vacation pay. 
      Now, again, I need to point out that I was truly grateful for the opportunity this shop owner gave me. I learned a lot working there, and the experience was pivotal in my career. But looking back, I wonder how many people were discouraged by these working conditions?
      While the physical demands of the repair workplace are daunting, perhaps even more critical is the culture. Too many of my generation shop owners preached the mindset of "my way or the highway." We were the business owners, after all. We started our companies, took all the risks, and provided jobs. Why shouldn't we be the ones to set the ground rules our way?   
      Many of us found over the years that the "my way or the highway" mentality was a sure way to isolate employees and make them more likely to look over the fence for greener grass. In other words, it led many technicians to seek employment elsewhere, where they felt they could be appreciated and recognized for their hard work. The issue, however, was that there wasn't much green grass around. Disappointment after disappointment, bouncing from repair to repair shop, eventually led to despair. So, I ask you: were workplace conditions a contributing factor in today's technician shortage?
      Another factor that we are all well aware of is the complexity of the modern automobile. When I started, the work was mostly physical, and you were required to master essentially three vehicle models: General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler. Let's fast-forward to today. The evolution of automotive technology, along with the extensive training and tools required, has outpaced the typical technician's pay compensation, with no clear career path. Again, leading to frustration and insecurity about the future.
      Here is the bottom line: people don't leave their job; they leave their experience. We must do a better job. 
      The News Isn't all Bad; Your Next Steps to Fix the Technician Shortage
      To fix the technician shortage, it will take a combined effort from everyone in the automotive industry, particularly automotive shop owners. Shop owners are in the perfect position to make the greatest impact, not only on their businesses but also on the future automotive workforce.
      First, shop owners must become better leaders and understand that their ultimate success is directly dependent on the people they assemble around them. Any shop owner who mistakenly believes they can build an empire solely on their abilities is destined for serious disappointment. Business owners who think like this will eventually plateau. Without the collective contributions from a team of qualified people, your business will stall; it will not continue to grow.
      Create a workplace that attracts top talent: a clean, professional, well-equipped facility designed to support productivity, teamwork, and a career, not just a job. Build a great reputation in your community by getting involved locally. Become the auto repair shop that people take notice of as "the" place to work.
      Next, shop owners must become more financially knowledgeable. Knowing your numbers and what you need to achieve for a strong bottom-line profit is essential to paying technicians the money they need and deserve. Profit will also allow you to compete with other trade industries by providing a benefits package that has real take-home value and security.
      When it comes to culture, this is where the rubber hits the road. People crave recognition, praise, and a sense of purpose. Despite what you hear, people are not just money-motivated. Once people feel secure in their financial situation, retaining and motivating technicians can only be achieved by connecting with them on an emotional level. You cannot show enough appreciation. Give out praise for a job well done as if your business depended on it, because it does.
      As technicians age, we need to have a place for them. Expecting a 58-year-old to perform like a 35-year-old is unrealistic. We need to be more focused on career pathing. Provide training, skill development, and coaching to develop leaders and mentors within our older workforce. While their bodies may have slowed, the knowledge they have gained is priceless. 
      Our future is dependent on young people entering our industry. We need to give more young people opportunities. Every shop owner across the country should consider hiring an apprentice, then build an apprentice training plan and career path for them. If every shop did this, we could solve the technician shortage within five years. Get involved with the trade schools and high schools in your area. Look into the NAPA Apprenticeship Program. Don't sit on your hands with this one. Do it today.
      Lastly, don't get left behind. Commit to ongoing training for all your employees. Keep up to date with tools and equipment tailored to your business model. Don't try to be all things to all people and all vehicles. Identify your core profile customer and the vehicles they drive, and become an expert on those vehicles and the services you offer.
  • Similar Topics

    • By carbtech72
      our fall downturn has reared its ugly head and we've had a pretty rough summer as well. Losing a lot of the general repair/maintenance/gravy work to mobile mechanics and their traveling side shows. So our bank account took a huge kick to the bag and we need to do a little more advertising. We gone the Craigslist route, a customer referral program and well made postcards that we place everywhere that they will let us. Anyone else have any ideas when you are operating on a shoestring budget but need to advertise
    • By ncsvoboda7
      Hey guys anyone using an online one stop shop for marketing?
       
      There are some really cool website developers out there that are web-based and also offer marketing solutions such as mswebpros.com.
       
      Would like to find some others that also do marketing online, social media and even locally.
    • By carmcapriotto
      Thanks to our Partners, NAPA TRACS, Today's Class, KUKUI, and Pit Crew Loyalty Watch Full Video Episode A viral social media clip about ADAS calibrations sparked thousands of comments and exposed a troubling reality: many automotive professionals still misunderstand when and why calibrations are required. In this episode, Carm Capriotto welcomes technical specialists and industry leaders Keith Perkins and Matt Fanslow to examine the industry's response, separate fact from fiction, and explain why following OEM repair procedures is essential for both vehicle safety and professional credibility.
      What You'll Learn The difference between static and dynamic ADAS calibrations, and why confusing the two leads to costly mistakes. Why programming, configuration, initialization, and calibration are separate procedures with different purposes. How fear of losing a sale often outweighs concerns about vehicle safety and liability. The real-world consequences of skipping OEM-required calibration procedures. How a properly calibrated vehicle helped protect Keith's wife and children during a serious highway rollover crash. How elevating the role of theCalibration Specialistreinforces professionalism and builds customer confidence.
      ADAS calibrations are not optional add-ons or revenue generators; they are critical safety procedures designed by vehicle manufacturers to ensure advanced safety systems perform as intended. Professional repair shops protect their customers by following OEM repair information, completing every required calibration, and returning every vehicle to the road safe and ready to perform. Why ADAS Calibrations Are Being Ignored in Auto Repair Shops [THA 484]: https://remarkableresults.biz/remarkable-results-radio-podcast/a484/
      Keith Perkins, Previous episode HERE. L1 Automotive, https://www.l1diagnostics.com/, L1 Automotive Training: https://l1training.com/
      Matt Fanslow, Riverside Automotive, Red Wing, MN, Diagnosing the Aftermarket A to Z Podcast: https://mattfanslow.captivate.fm/
      Thanks to our Partner, NAPA TRACS NAPA TRACS will move your shop into the SMS fast lane with onsite training and six days a week of support and local representation. Find NAPA TRACS on the Web at http://napatracs.com/ Thanks to our Partner, Today's Class Optimize training with Today's Class: In just 5 minutes daily, boost knowledge retention and improve team performance. Find Today's Class on the web at https://www.todaysclass.com/ Thanks to our Partner, KUKUI Stop juggling multiple marketing tools. KUKUI’s integrated platform delivers 4x better website conversions, automated follow-up, and real-time ROI tracking. Get industry-leading customer support with KUKUI at https://www.kukui.com/ Thanks to our Partner, Pit Crew Loyalty You’re probably tired of chasing new customers who never return. We understand. Pit Crew Loyalty ends the one-and-done cycle, turning first visits into lasting, reliable revenue at https://www.pitcrewloyalty.com/ Connect with the Podcast: Download and Listen on Our Mobile App: https://automotiverepairpodcastnetwork.com/app/ Visit the Website:https://remarkableresults.biz/ Subscribe on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/carmcapriotto Follow on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/RemarkableResultsRadioPodcast/ Follow on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/carmcapriotto/ Follow on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/remarkableresultsradiopodcast/ Join Our Virtual Toastmasters Club:https://remarkableresults.biz/toastmasters Join Our Private Facebook Community:https://www.facebook.com/groups/1734687266778976 Join our Insider List:https://remarkableresults.biz/insider All books mentioned on our podcasts:https://remarkableresults.biz/books Our Classroom page for personal or team learning:https://remarkableresults.biz/classroom Buy Me a Coffee:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/carm Special episode collections:https://remarkableresults.biz/collections
      The Automotive Repair Podcast Network: https://automotiverepairpodcastnetwork.com/ Remarkable Results Radio Podcast with Carm Capriotto: Facilitating Wisdom Through Story Telling and Open Discussion. https://remarkableresults.biz/ Diagnosing the Aftermarket A to Z: From Diagnostics to Metallica and Mental Health, Matt Fanslow is Lifting the Hood on Life. https://mattfanslow.captivate.fm/ Business by the Numbers: Understand the Numbers of Your Business with CPA Hunt Demarest. https://huntdemarest.captivate.fm/ The Auto Repair Marketing Podcast: Marketing Experts Brian & Kim Walker Work with Shop Owners to Take it to the Next Level. https://autorepairmarketing.captivate.fm/ The Weekly Blitz: Weekly Inspiration with Business Coach Chris Cotton from AutoFix – Auto Shop Coaching. https://chriscotton.captivate.fm/ Speak Up! Effective Communication: Develop Interpersonal and Professional Communication Skills with Craig O’Neill. https://craigoneill.captivate.fm
          Click to go to the Podcast on Remarkable Results Radio
    • By TradeHop
      Hey all — long-time lurker, first post. I'm building something called TradeHop and want to sanity-check the idea with people who actually run shops before I go further.
       
      The concept: traveling or independent mechanics book your spare bay time by the day instead of you hiring them full-time. You set the price and hours, they book, and you keep the bay filled on slow days instead of empty.
       
      Before I build more, I'm curious: would any of you actually consider doing this, and what would make you say no? Not trying to sell anything here, genuinely want the reality check from people who run shops for a living.
    • By mspecperformance
      Lets assume you are opening a brand new shop. You are not moving shops so you don't have a customer base to start with. To get off the ground running, what are some key marketing pieces, campaigns or elements you would implement (or have implemented).
       
      I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!


  • Our Sponsors

×
×
  • Create New...