What if Yogi was a Mechanic?
For those who never took an interest in baseball, let me tell you about one of the greats. Lawrence Berra, better known as Yogi. He played almost his entire professional career (1946-1965) with the New York Yankees. After his playing years ended with the 1963 World Series, he was hired as the manager for the same team. Yogi was known for his uncanny way of covering the strike zone (as well as outside of it) with extreme reaches or golf club style swings for low balls. As a catcher he made running down those foul balls look easy. He even managed to have more home runs in one season than strike outs, which made him the go-to clutch hitter in a tight game. (Only 414 strike outs over his entire career of 7555 at bats.)
Berra, may have been one of the most outstanding players of all times but what he’s most noted for is his mangled quotes, such as "It ain't over 'til it's over", while speaking to reporters. His reputation for obscure quotes didn’t go unnoticed by the great Yogi Berra himself, he once stated, "I really didn't say everything I said." For me, and I know I’m not alone on this one. There have been times I’ve blurted out the wrong answer or said something that just didn’t come out right to a customer. You know, you’d like to take it all back, but what you end up trying to do is correct your latest flub without making it any worse.
Now with Yogi, well, it was his nature to say things that just didn’t seem to make sense. You sort of knew what he meant, even if it didn’t sound right at first. I sometimes wonder if he knew he flubbed a statement to a reporter and wishes he could have taken it all back. Most of the time, he would just throw out another off the cuff quote that would go down in baseball history with the rest of his jagged quotes of quotes.
What if instead of career in professional baseball Yogi was an auto mechanic or repair shop owner? Can you imagine the quirky quotes that would have been possible? Here are a few actual quotes from Yogi that all you have to do is imagine him standing at the service counter telling a customer just how it is. Just add the word mechanic, automotive, wrench, or any other phrase that comes to mind that would fit in one of his famous quotes instead of being baseball related. I’m sure it’ll put a smile on your face.
“You can observe a lot by watching”
“The future ain't what it used to be”
“If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be”
“We made too many wrong mistakes.”
“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”
“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up some place else.”
“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”
“90% of the game is half mental.”
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
"I made a wrong mistake."
"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
"Do you mean now?" – (When asked what time it was.)
Yogi Berra's second claim to fame is by far for being one of the most quoted figures in the sports history, and there’s no doubt why. I suppose somewhere in the world of automotive there’s a Yogi Berra type individual with the same gift of gab. In the meantime since I don’t know where that guy is, Yogi will do as a great substitute.
I even find myself slipping into a Yogi’ism when I least expect it. You know, the old foot in mouth syndrome when you’re trying to explain something to a customer and you get all tongue tied and what you wanted to say isn’t really what you said. Yea, I’ve been there… done that. I’m sure Yogi had a quote for a situation like that. Thankfully, there are no cameras and reporters around to record all my flubs and guffaws like old Yogi had to deal with. Me, I’ll just dust myself off and eat a little crow while I apologize and rethink how I’m going to properly say what I wanted to say. It’s not first time that I’ve had to back track something I’ve said, and I’m sure it won’t be last time either.
Like Yogi said to a reporter after a game, "This is like deja vu all over again." Hopefully we can all laugh at our own flubs and take things in stride just like Yogi did. Cause ya know, “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
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So we have a customer come in with a 2010 X6. This is her second time here. Both times she walks in with a fur coat. Second time she brings her husband. Her husband notifies us that he is having issues with his battery/charging system. I explain to them that we would first like to perform a charging system test to ensure there is nothing else in the system that is in need of attention or repair. They agree and by all accounts seem like nice people. He even informs he has a 2006 M6 that he was interested in selling.
Fast forward 2 hours later, we call them back and let them know that they would be needing a new battery and the rest of their charging system looks to be working. We had told them to expect that the battery costs between $250-325 and there may be an additional IBS cable that is recommended to be replaced as BMW has released an updated version of said cable. Upon notifying the customer, he gets upset with the price and says, "Wow, I could have just went to the dealer." We tell the customer he more than welcome to come pick up the vehicle since we won't have his parts until Monday if he chose to perform the service.
Fast forward another 3 hours, the customer shows up (the wife). We see her pacing around outside on the phone as we are closing our roll down gate. My partner informs me the customer is outside and is probably coming inside the office. I wait 5 minutes and no one comes through the door, I find it odd so I go outside. She is no where to be seen and the car is gone.
We try calling them 3-4 times with no luck. She finally returns our phone call screaming saying we are irresponsible for leaving her key in her car and we are going to have to deal with her husband then hangs up. All subsequent calls are not answered.
In 8-9 years I've been doing this, I have never had this happen. These people looked like decent folks and seemingly were at least middle income. It amazes me what low class scummy people will do to get over. On top of that she had the nerve to try to make it our fault she stole her own car back LOL. I'm not going to go crazy over theft of service ($49.95).
Class has no appearance!!!
Article: It Doesn't Matter - - - Have ya heard that from someone? Here's my wife's story... too funnyBy Gonzo
It Doesn't Matter
My wife, who's a very accomplished longarm quilter, author, and quilting teacher, came home from one of her trips to the local quilt stores to check out the latest fabrics, and to drop off some quilts she had finished for her customers. While she was there a lady walked up to the counter person and asked if she knew anything about longarm machine quilting.
"I don't have one in my store,"the counter lady told her, "But that lady over there (pointing to my wife) is one of the best long arm quilters in this area. You could ask her."
I've been married to my wife for a longtime, and I've seen the type of work she can turn out on her big machine. It's stunning to say the least, and to be recognized by fellow quilters is as important to her as it would be to any mechanic out there to be recognized by their peers as well. Her years of skilled artistry were showing through her story as she began to tell it. (Just like any other skilled job, when you meet a true professional… you know it.) It's not the first time she's been stopped to answers questions, and she's more than prepared to answer any and all questions regarding the type of work she loves to do.
Oh, the tales she can tell! It wasn't hard to relate her story to one of my situations, and I certainly could imagine the whole thing as if I was talking to someone about car repair. But, I'll let her tell her story first.
The lady approached her and said, "Yes, I'd like to know what you do with those long poles."
My wife answered, "Poles? Are you referring to the long horizontal poles you attached the quilts to?"
"Yea, yea, whatever, but that doesn't matter. Which one is the first one?"
"Which machine do you have?"
"That doesn't matter, they're all the same."
"No, actually they're not," my wife told her. "Some have 3 and some have 4 poles."
"That doesn't matter. Where do you start?"
"That would depend on which side of the machine you're standing on," my wife said, trying to make light of the situation.
"Oh, that doesn't matter which side...so which is the first one?"
There was no getting around the "doesn't matter",and it was soon apparent that not one question could be answered without it in the answer. After a while the lady moved on through the store. She seemed a bit miffed that her questions weren't answered by this so called "expert". The lady found another patron just around the corner of a big display, and in a loud voice the lady told the other patron in the store. "As you can tell I'm obviously not going to get any help here. I asked another long arm operator at another store the same questions, and would you believe, she wouldn't tell me anything either. Do you know of any experts that would tell me a thing or two?"
Both the shop owner and my wife just bit their tongues at that point.
My wife, who definitely knows how to deliver a sarcastic come-back said to the shop owner in a whispered voice, "Whoever she asks, it doesn't matter."
I find the same kind of situations at the repair shop. There are a lot of times someone will call or ask for some obscure part that I just don't have a clue what they are trying to describe. Maybe some people can't grasp the concept that all cars and all parts are not alike.
Standing at the service counter while talking on the phone, and staring at the computer I've got to ask the questions that are in front of me on the screen. The first question is, "What kind of car is it?" If the response is, "That doesn't matter, they're all the same", I know it's going to be a long day at the counter for sure.
I wonder if this would work at a restaurant when ordering a glass of wine? Just try telling the waiter it doesn't matter which bottle they bring.How about when you're at the doctor's office, talking to the plumber, or let's not forget… talking to the judge?!?! I would think facts and information matter in those cases. I can only imagine what the outcome would be if after you're pulled over and the police officer asks you, "How fast did you think you were going?" If you answered, "You know, it really doesn't matter how fast I was going", you might be looking at a long stay in a small cell for the evening.
Oh,and it doesn't matter that the engine is covered in an inch of grease and grime. Heck, I'm a mechanic… I'm supposed to be covered in grime. Huh? Where did that notion spring from… does it matter? … You bet your spark plugs it matters! I prefer a clean work surface,… you… Mr.Unconcerned on the other hand… obviously… it just doesn't matter to you.
It's those perceptions of how something works, or is figured out by the professional, that is misconstrued by the novice. It all must look so easy from the other side of the wrench, or in the case of my wife's little story… the longarm machine. I have to admit my wife had a smile from ear to ear, because she knew she had stumbled upon a situation and experience that I tend to write about. The smile was contagious, and soon I wanted to hear all the details of her adventure.
In rare cases, you know, it really doesn't matter. But try ordering a part for a car and not have all the details that the counter person has to answer. Sometimes, the questions seem like they are way off in left field. Like, "Is it a 4 door or a 2 door?" or "Does it have 13 inch rotors or 12 inch rotors?" and to think all I wanted to order was a tie rod. Even though their questions seem so far-fetched, there's probably a good reason why they have to ask those questions.
Just once I'd like to push things to the limit. You know, like when the wife asks me what I'd like for dinner, I'm going to try the "it doesn't matter"approach. (Just to see where that gets me.) I'm betting I'll probably end up with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, I asked for it. Oh sure, I was thinking maybe meatloaf, or a nice Italian dinner... but "It doesn't matter" got in the way of the decision making.
So the next time I try to get more information,the right type of information mind you, and they say, "It doesn't matter" I'm going to ask them why? Just to see what they'll say.
Chances are they won't know why… but I guess that doesn't matter either.
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