Gonzo

The K-I-S-S Method

An older gentleman came to the shop with a wiper problem. His problem was simple, the wipers wouldn’t turn off. Well, that’s not unusual, this sort of thing happens a lot, it’s just the kind of repairs I like to do. Except for the fact that this guy was insistent that it had to be a serious malfunction. This made me think there was something seriously wrong with the car, he sounded so sure of himself. And if it was going to be a huge expense he wasn’t going to have it fixed, instead, he would return the car back to the lot that he just bought it from.

My job was clear, find the problem, find the solution, and make the repair. Not hard, no big deal, piece a cake…!

I drove the car into the shop with the wipers on full blast, wiping away on the now very dry windshield. Screech, screech, went the wiper blades. Just before I turned the key off I gave it a shot of windshield cleaner … damn… empty, the old guy has already went through the supply of fluid in the bottle. Oh well, shut the car off and check this thing out, I’ll take care of the fluid later.

Now the nice thing about the newer cars is the factory scanners have the individual systems on the screen so you can check them without tearing anything apart or grabbing a test light. You can read the system on the screen and determine the fault without even getting dirty, pretty cool if you ask me.

I grabbed my NGS scanner and plugged all the car info into it. Make, model, engine, etc… Found the menu for sub-systems, and what do ya know; there it is… wiper diagnostics… cool… I’ll run it through the tests.

Ah, let’s see … switch override, aha, and …main relay on… hmmm, good. Low speed, ah, yep, there’s the high speed control.. awesome … washer pump control… crap… gotta go fill the reservoir up with washer fluid so I can check it. Ok, that’s done, … let’s see, washer pump activation, press 1 on the scanner… yep… washer pump works great too. Ok, now what’s the problem…?

Reading the scanner is one thing, understanding what you’re looking at is another. Here I am with the scanner … watching the command signals on the scanner telling me that the wipers are ON, and not once looking to see what position the wiper switch was in.

All the guys in the shop are watching me standing behind the driver’s door holding onto the scanner, and dodging the windshield fluid spray as if it was incoming fire from an enemy sniper. As always there is plenty of sarcastic remarks from the crew, and few choice words from me when I would get caught with the spray.

Let’s see; I filled out an invoice, brought the car in the shop, got the scanner hooked up, played around with the scanner, and… never checked the basics. My bad…

I’m feeling a little dumb at this point, the boss isn’t suppose to do stupid things like “not checking the switch” that’s what the junior mechanic is suppose to get caught doing… not the old man himself. I was hoping nobody noticed the sly little movement of my left hand twisting the wiper switch to the, OFF position. A quick glance at the scanner’s information;……Now how about that… the scanner shows “commanded signal – OFF” and so are the wipers. It’s A miracle!

No don’t tell me… oh no, he didn’t, did he?… yep, he did. The old guy drove his car all the way to the shop with the wiper switch in the ON position… and, the dumb ass tech went straight for the scanner without looking at the car first. Ya’d think I would at least have looked at the position of the wiper switch before I did anything. It could have save a lot of time; it could have been a quick thank you from the customer, but, noooo…

Nope, just had to do it, just had to go get the scanner, after I just got done telling all the guys in the shop how we needed to simplify or diagnostic procedures and pay closer attention to the information that the customer was telling us. Which information was that??.....He just bought the car, should have been a dead giveaway. My bad…again.

I took the car around front and gave the keys back to the proud owner. He was busy telling another customer about myself, and how he knew I could fix “anything” on a car, and how I was always honest and up front with all my services. When I told him “no charge” he turned to the lady and said, “See, I told ya.”

Now with his new found information that seemingly incredible problem was nothing to worry about at all, and there was no need of going back to the car lot where he just bought it at.

Down the road went my happy, non-wiper turning off customer. I was actually happier for myself than for the customer... Why you ask? Because I didn’t have to explain to anyone in the shop … how the boss couldn’t figure out the wiper switch was left on without consulting a scanner. You know this new technology is great and these new scanners are wonderful….. But I have to remind myself from time to time….. <KISS >…….Keep-It-Simple-Stupid….

I like the car wash feature too. Morale is an issue, anything that an employee can view as a added perk is good.

I'm guilty of working on my own stuff, so I don't fuss to much if the techs need some time on their own cars... But I'm with everyone else, not allowing them to work on other family or friends cars. Those I always will tell them... OUTSIDE ONLY... DO NOT BLOCK BAYS... But at the same time we might get a rebuilder in or a restoration project that isn't a direct paying job for anyone. But, I'll give them a cut if we resell the car. That always works well... they tend to act like little greedy vultures when you tell them they can make a few bucks on a car... Nobody minds the extra cash...

 

Great posts ... I like reading about things like this... gives me new ideas for new stories... Gonzo

Thanks all for the input. Just didn't want to make any rash decisions. It has NOT effected his work or this would be an easy termination, much easier than "I have to let you go because your crappy attitude and sour puss is giving me an ulcer!" I've given this plenty of time and now it's like it's just become a goal of his to stir the pot...he's just not happy here and want's everyone to know it, but won't leave. We've considered bringing in a shop "helper", but I hesitate to bring anyone else in as he will surely corrupt moral. I like to think of myself as fair and easy to work for - I know I'm a LOT easier to work with than some of my bosses in years past - maybe that's the problem, I want a friendly atmosphere but I expect to be given the respect I deserve as the one paying his salary too. I think it's time for a breath of fresh air and new attitude.

Again, Thanks for the input. Keep posting if you've been through this, good to know I'm not alone!

Dwayne

 

It's not a lot fun dealing with an employee that doesn't want to BE an employee. That's what this guy sounds like. I've had a few over my nearly .. getting close.. to 30 years. They all seem to be the ones with the best track record for attendance and work. But that chip on the shoulder will wear you down after awhile. I'm kinda like the big old softy when it comes to guys like this. Since they do such a great job, I would try to over look the attitude.

 

But let's take a look from the grandstands. Imagine yourself watching a ball game from the grandstands and you see two guys out on the field that seem to be always butting heads. You see the reactions of the two of them (oil and water) but you are not a part of the game... you're merely watching. As a spectator you have the ability to look at both sides... without your personal ego getting in the way. If you can picture this, is... this... what you want in your daily working enviroment.

 

Which one are you? Over the years I've seen myself in the "game" and felt that I could have been on either team... but in the long run... It's still my business... and not his. That attitude almost always is hiding something. I had one guy that after working for me nearly 10 years, a good worker, and always with an attitude. He got into the habit of throwing tools... I tried to stop it.. but it just kept getting worse. Soon, I found myself acting the same way... didn't like it. Had to make some changes. Later on, he would .. politely ask for an afternoon off to go see one of his kids in a school play... then it was a day off.. then it was showing up a minute or two late... then it was the ever lengthing lunch break... and finally the work wasn't getting done on time.

 

He eventually came into my office and threw his key on the desk and said "I quit" ... Later, (about a year) I found out what it was all about. It was me.... oh not me in the shop... it was me with a new truck, me and a motorcycle, me moving to another house... what it turned out to be was simply jealousy... of my good fortune and his lack of getting ahead.

 

Do you see where I'm going with this?? I hope so. I guess what I'm saying, is ... take care that you are not the cause of the attitude... but on the other hand, you and I and everyone else that runs their own business are not here to "make do" we all want to strive and do better financially for our families. That takes time, employees that are willing to work for a good wage, and of course your own personal efforts. Giving them everything they want can, and will backfire on you... because at some point in time you may end up the only one holding the keys.

One of the magazines I write for has improved on their website. Now you can actually read and vote on the stories that they publish.

 

I would appreciate it, If you have the time,.. to vote for my column... It not only insures that I have an on going column but also a way for the magazine to know people are reading what they publish.

 

here's the link: Bottom Shocker: True Mechanical Humor from Gonzo Weaver

 

I really would like to thank everyone for their support. Gonzo

Gonzo, you would be welcome anytime. I usually don't work Saturdays but when I do I favor Papa Johns but my Service Manager who usually covers Saturdays like KFC but we feed a little bit of everything. The agreement is on Saturdays we don't take lunch but eat on the run, work a shorter day, and we provide lunch. Just call ahead and let me know your coming so we can have enough food. Do you like thin crust or original?

. LOL thin crust, original... that's already to many decision to make on a Saturday. My Saturdays are either working around the house or trying to decide on a 5 iron or a 6.... Thanx for the invite. Gonz

Our atmosphere with many of our customers is very friendly almost like the old country store. Some of our regulars may come in and make a pot of coffee if we are busy.

 

Vendors are important too. We try to take care of our vendors. If any of our vendor employees salesmen, counter help, or delivery drivers come to us with a vehicle problem we try to take care of them. We will tell them what they need and to go get the parts and we will put them on at a reduced labor rate.

 

On Saturday's we feed our workforce and today it was Papa Johns. When a vendor woman driver delivered a part today while we were eating I invited her to have pizza with us. It is amazing what little jesters like that do. We even had one vendor employee, a single mom, who had to have a hysterectomy and missed six weeks of work. We contributed money and solicted money to help her while she was off work.

 

Hey, that sounds like a great Saturday. Nice to know there are a few "great" people in the business... It just goes to show... you don't have to have the lowest price, you don't have to have the best advertising, you don't need a million dollar inventory (couldn't hurt though)... but be yourself, treat them like you would want to be treated.

 

Of course I draw the line between actual customers and that "other" type of ... the ones that just come in for free advise and never spend a dime with me. I don't give them a thought. My "good" side only goes so far... but it is sure nice to be the good guy for a change. I'll be up next Saturday... what's on the lunch menu??? LOL

Thanks for your great input. I see you truly understand customer relations and how it has a positive affect on your business and the auto industry.

 

Your comment on your suppliers is right on track. You actually stole part of my thunder for my next tip.

Sorry about the thunder... it's that great minds think alike thing.... heck, it could be like a sail boat in a hurricane... haven't a clue where we are going but hang on.... it's going to be one hell of a ride. LOL

 

Gonz

It’s important to connect with your customers. Take for example: When a customer informs you that she needs her car back by 4:00 because her son has a soccer game, make a note of that. Make sure you have that car ready on time when she picks up the car that afternoon, say something such as, “Tell your son good luck at the game”. She will remember that more than the service you performed.

 

Here's another tip. We use the customer remarks field in Mitchell Manager to make notes about the customer. If Tom Smith enjoys playing golf, we make a note of that. The next time Tom brings his car in for service, we ask, “How’s your golf game going”? It’s a nice way to connect with your customer and trust me, being personal will help you with sales.

 

Nice way to take the world, the community, and the customer and bring them into a that "small world" ... Makes for a better relationship with that customer. Me, I know I need to keep my back into my work in order to keep the doors open, but, I will stop and chew the fat with any customer that wants to take a moment to talk - about anything. (religion and politics I tend to stay as neutral as possible) The whole idea is to make that big world feel like that perverbial small town. I like the concept.

In addition, I use the same concept with all of my suppliers. They are as important to me as my customers are.

 

Nice work Joe. Thumbs up !

That is right! The mechanics lein process is a hassel and it adds about $100-$125 to my total cost not counting the time involved. The newspaper charges are outrageous for the legal ads.

I have to file on several each year. Most of the time the car isn't worth the bill that's owed. But, at least I have "something" to get some of the cash back. I would have to read this law as it's written and interpreted.... sometimes bad information spread out there by the news media is as bad as stupid laws put into affect by the legislation. However, it sounds more like it's the jerks that can't really repair cars is the reason this law is out there.. Joe, again... totally agreement... it's just stupid what the law will do with situations like this. (BTW, read your comments on the web page too)

 

If I lived in Iowa... every single job would have to be paid for in full up front, and any additional work deemed necessary would have to be paid for before completion.

Sounds like you could go to a shop ... have them install a motor or something ... come back in a day or two... and say... "I can't pay for it.... give me my car." and there ain't a whole lot you can do about it. THAT STINKS ! !

Gonzo, I would say your article was a hit since there are already six responses. Or is that all of your friends?

 

Diagnostics...

I know you and Joe, and I think I know or should I say heard one other... but the rest are on there own. thanx for keepin tabs.

Gonzo

I read the book over the weekend. My favorite story was the one with the two Lincolns who wanted you to make the great swap. After reading your book I think I could write one very similar but maybe with not as much flair. Do you think any of those people migrated to Indiana? I swear that I have dealt with some of them. You may find it of interest that I am passing the book on to my Army Ranger service manager to read. His wife is also an avid quilter. She had taken their master bedroom and made it into a sewing room. She has a $14,000 quilting machine and a bunch of other fancy machines and it is only a hobby.

Thanx for reading it... thanx for passing it on... then tell them to buy another copy... LOL

The stories are all true... the flair is of course to make it more readable and funny. (Mr. Ditto wasn't a happy camper let me tell you)

I tried to keep the stories real and to some sort of basic scenario that I have had other shops talk to me about over the years. That's why they are so easily related to any shop across the country. That was my intention... sounds like I did that from what your telling me. And, I'll bet some did migrate from or to Indiana... LOL

 

As far as the wife.... www.persimmonquilts.com My wife has written 2 quilt books so far. the first one has become a best seller, the second one will be out late this year. She is very VERY well known in the quilting world. That Army Rangers wife who is a quilter probably knows my wife... but I'll bet she doesn't know... she knows. (she probably has her book) One of the things my wife does is what is called "Quilts of Valor" you can read about that on her website. It's a organization that hands out a hand made quilt to any injured service person. leaving any military hospital.. it's something that she does that I am very proud of.

Oh, and my wife has one of those big quilting machines.... and our entire upstairs is all quilting... she didn't just take over a bedroom she took over an entire house... LOL... I think there is over 150 quilts for service people up there waiting to get done. Have your friends wife go to my wife's site...

 

Thanx for reading my book... it's a little something that I thought all of us in the business needed to read... because... we ain't alone behind that counter...

Keep it between the ditches and off the tow trucks.. Gonzo

Why, because too many shops don't charge for diag time, or don't charge enough, or apply the diag charge if the customer authorizes the repair and so on. The problem is not the general public, the problem is us.

 

Again, right on the money Joe... Somehow, the "old school" way of charging for our efforts has to be brought up to today's level. I don't have the answer, but I do think getting the word out may make others aware that there needs to be something done differently than what has been done in the past.

 

BTW the next article I'm submitting to Brake and Front end is going to be the one about the "shade tree mechanic" it should go over pretty good. the "views" here on ASO have been really great...

 

great comments... keep them coming.

 

the more posts on B/Front end the better... keeps me in the spot light at the editors desk... LOL..

 

thanx again Gonzo

Got it today in good shape. I will probably read some of it this weekend. Thanks!

that's great... hope ya like it...

 

Don't forget, like I always tell the customer as they are leaving the front office... "Keep it between the ditches.... and off the back of the tow trucks." Leaves em' speechless everytime.. LOL

 

Later.. Gonzo

Why is the general public so resistant to paying diagnostic time? If one goes to the doctor you wind up paying for xrays, cat scans, MRI's, lab work, etc. All of that is diagnostic and is not cheap.

 

I totally agree... thanx for the comments. Keep them coming... the more comments the better... Brake and Front end magazine thought it was a great article, I hope I do more of them. Thanx for leaving a comment on the B-Front end page Joe... appreciate it. When you leave a comment on that page the editors then know that they have something others would like to read. The more comments the BETTER.

 

Thanx again. Gonzo

Hi everyone, If you have been reading my posts then you probably have already read this article in it's original version.

Diagnostic fee or Diagnostic free... If you haven't here it is edited for Brake and Front end magazine.

 

This is the FIRST article for Brake and Front end. I'm pretty proud of it if ya can't tell.

 

What can you do for me... besides reading my posts ??

 

Go to the link that takes you to the article at Brake and Front end and leave a comment at the bottom of the page. Say whatever you would like, but of course it would even better to say something that would encourage the editors/staff to want to print more of my stories... sure would appreciate it.

 

BTW... every article that I am working on that I will eventually send out I let you guys see it first... it's a good feed back as to what I should change or add to the articles. Thanx again... Gonzo

 

Here is the link to my article...

 

Diagnostic...

Certified Auto Repair Centers - Guest

 

I have mentioned this before but I wanted to expanded upon it a little. We participate in the Certfied Auto Repair program that was offered to us through O'Reilly Auto Parts. To participate in this program is $50 per month or it is free if you buy more than $2,500 of parts per month. Through it you can offer your customers a nationwide warranty on your repairs. If you belong and work is done at your shop and there is a problem with the repair Certified will pay up to the cost of the original repair. How it works is you have the customer call Certified and they will direct the customer to the nearest participating shop. If there are none in the area they will let the customer pick a shop.

 

Recently, we had this experience. A lady from Maryland with a Subaru broke a front axle on the interstate. We think she was spinning on the ice and hit a dry patch. It was towed into our shop on a Saturday morning. Miracle of miracles in our smaller market we found a new axle on a Saturday and got her fixed and on here way. About two weeks later I got a call from the woman that she was back in Maryland and having the "same problem". Isn't it amazing that the car comes in on a tow truck and won't move and she is driving it but now has the [b]"same problem". [/b] What she had was noise. Before the days of our participation in this program I would have told her to find a shop and have it checked and then have the shop call us. If there was a problem with the part I would then see if I could get the vendor to ship them a part or whatever I had to do and pay the shop to replace the defective part. This was a hassle and could get expensive. I would send the customer to a Car-x if there was one in the area (none in Maryland) and then I would reimburse the shop for the work they did. The Car-x shops all treat each other very fair.

 

Because I participate in Certified Auto Repair all I had to do was give the lady the Certified Auto Repair phone number., tell her to call the number, ask them where to take the vehicle, and that they would cover things up to the cost of the original repair if the problem was with the work we had done. That was it and was the only thing I had to do. A few weeks later I got a letter from Certified telling me that they had taken care of the warranty and how much they had paid out. That was all that I had to do. Evidently we had gotten a new (not reman) defective axle. Certified is a way for a small shop to inexpensively offer a nation wide warranty.

 

I'll check into it in my area... You know, I've heard of these deals before... but it always seems to go for a while and then they seem to fade away... why's that??

I just ordered one. Be sure to autograph it for me.

autographed and on it's way.... enjoy...

I had a similiar story, but this tech was good. I hated to let him go, but life goes on and we survived. It's not that I don't worry about losing a great tech, but if the tech stays, what will that do to my business due to bad morale and hard feelings among the other employees?

I've had similar problems with techs. Some ... when they do call in late for the 3rd or 4th time... I tell them not to bother coming in at all... but I reserve that for the bad ones. The good techs.. well, I won't assign them work... If you come in late... you get nothing. Eventually they either get the idea or they quit.

 

My worst offenders of this whole thing has always been the interns... I ended up handling them this way.... first off they are usually college or high school students... keep that in mind too. What I do is stand by their work area at exactly the start of the day... IF you are not there ON TIME... then GO HOME... all day. Until you can make it in the real world at the real time... you don't need this job. I'll usually play this game thru their entire internship... then when it's grading time it will show on thier report card.

 

It's worked in the past... hope this helps. Gonzo

My favorite parts are where you say,

 

Don't you just love these people who say that when you know they don't have a snow balls chance where it is hot of knowing what to do.

 

Then you write This also means either they don't have enough money for you to fix it or aren't willing to spend enough money for you to fix it.

 

Good job Gonzo!

 

Pretty funny stuff... thanx...for the comments.

 

and ya wonder why ... when you get a chance to get back to your office you just roll your eyeballs back in your head... wondering... how in the world did the gene pool miss throwing this one out when they had the chance...

 

Thanx again... you should get a copy of my book... ask Joe... he's got a copy... LOL

I do like the story, mainly because I can relate to the story. It's like these are my customers, it's the same no matter where you go.

 

I think it would make a hysterically funny sitcom myself...

 

It doesn't matter what part of the country your in.... it's all the same... there are stooges everywhere... LOL

You could make a 30 minute sit com out of this one. Glad to see that I'm not the only one who gets these knuckle heads. This is a true story, right? I mean, you can't make this stuff up.

 

Joe, all I have to do is go to work each day and I have new material to write about.... and YES... it really is a true story...

 

I take it you liked the story then.... This story really makes me laugh... it's so typical of the "know-it-all" types out there. Everytime I read it... I can't help but laugh.

 

To bad I didn't charge this trio of automotive excellence for all the oil dry I went thru... LOL

This story hasn't gone out yet... You're the first to see it... let me know what ya think of it.

 

It will probably be edited for length, and may get cut down ... but I kinda like this version. Gonzo

 

 

High in the sky Jeep, the stooge trio

This trio of comic geniuses showed up at the shop one afternoon, the “Talker”, the “Looker”, and the “Nodder”. These three buddies have been working on a CJ for many, many years. Not one of them have any background in mechanics or electrical. But, as usual the “Talker” knew everything. The “Looker” never looked at a thing but performed his task with the greatest level of expertise. He had that 40 foot stare in a 20 foot room, always glancing at something that was not part of the conversation. The ceiling was a common theme, then there is the book rack, the disclaimers on the wall, the usual advertisements on the counter, pretty much anything but not a thing important. I think you could have asked this guy any question about the room, the people in the room, or for that matter probably his own name… I doubt if he could have answered a single question without saying “Huh” before coming up with some sort of ridiculous half wit response. Now the “Nodder”, he was in rare form. There was the quick nod, the slow responsive nod, and ever so popular nod your head so hard that your hair flips up and down, while at the same time maintaining his proper distance from the service counter. His only other function is to observe the “Looker” and “Talker” and confirm that they are doing their part in this trio of humorous delinquents. That only leaves the “Talker”; it’s the classic confrontation at the counter.

“Yes, I’m interesting in finding out if you or anyone here knows how to wire up a CJ from scratch?” he asked.

“Sure, I’ve done lots of them over the years,” I said, quite confidently.

“Well, it only needs a few things done, I just don’t have the time to finish it,” the “Talker” said with his nodding buddy in the back doing his best to stay up with the conversation. The “Looker” on the other hand was busy… you know… “Looking”… at what, I haven’t a clue. At this point I’m starting to wonder about the three of them. Two classic mistakes have already been made.

Number one, “I don’t have time to finish it”, Let me translate that for you… it really means; “I couldn’t figure it out even if the directions were tattooed to the inside of my eyelids”.

Number two, “It only needs a few things” … what that really means is… “You ain’t going to believe how screwed we got this”.

Thus, the quandary of problems that are about to unfold in front of me. The conversation went on with its usual head nods from the “Nodder” and stares into space by the “Looker”. With the never ending … Deeping… hole of unpronounceable automotive terms that the “Talker” was sinking into.

Trying to put an end to all this confusion, without falling into the hole myself, “Where’s the Jeep at?” I asked.

“Oh it’s at our garage,” the “Talker” added, “We’ll have to get it over to you. It doesn’t run right now.”

“Don’t you think you should get it running first,” I asked.

“It’s got a brand new crate motor in it,” the “Looker” jumped into the conversation with his two cents worth of information.

Confused now, I said, “A crate engine, you haven’t hooked up the wires to the engine yet? I guess that’s what you want me to do.”

“No, that’s done,” said the “Talker”, “We finished that up about a year ago. It just needs cleaned up a bit.” The “Nodder” did a hair flip about then… good job, that confirmed it… they’re all nuts.

The “Talker”, the “Nodder”, and the “Looker” all took their turns at the front counter. I use to think I’ve heard it all, and then these three stooges showed up and proved me wrong. Oh yes, this was a several year project, all of which was…. completely done backwards. From what I could piece together, the paint was finished first to a show room luster, while the body was being painted the frame was completely stripped down and powder coated. It took them over a year just to decide on which type of wheels and rims to put on it. Wiring seemed to have come in dead last … or that’s what I thought.

The next day the Jeep showed up on a trailer. Wow, what a superior paint job, all shiny and new. It was a mile high in the air with this huge lift kit installed. There were beautifully chromed engine parts everywhere, all gleaming in the sun. That was about it though. No exhaust system, no coolant, gobs and gobs of wiring strewn all through the engine compartment and undercarriage. Wires were run right through the headers and into the inside of the Jeep. There were no seats, doors, or even a windshield. All the extra wire was wrapped around the steering column or dangled into different cavities. There was no hole for the floor shifter and there was no place to mount the four wheel drive controls. Oh they had everything… in boxes, with assorted nuts and bolts, cables, and wiring. Even the headers will need reworked. The passenger side header was up against that beautifully powder coated frame and, you know, it was more than likely going to burn that pretty paint off. There were no spark plugs, no plug wires, and no throttle cable. It was without a doubt the largest expenditure into a total disaster I have ever seen in my years of business.

The “Talker” was busy explaining his master piece to me while I was busy eyeballing this checkbook gone wild, wanna-be beast of the 4wd world. The more I looked the worst it kept getting. I finally had to put an end to the talkers’ non-stop trip to purgatory.

“Why don’t you take this over and have the exhaust taken care of,” I interrupted him with a sudden jolt back to the planet, “Once you have that done, you could fill up the coolant system, look for leaks and maybe even put some plugs in it and see if it starts.”

I was surprised at his response… he said, “That would be great, and then I’ll get it back to you to finish the wiring.” I was actually hoping he wouldn’t remember that part. But, I’ve done crazier rewires in the past… it’s just another day at the office for me.

Weeks later the Jeep showed up again. This time it had a complete exhaust system installed, however they never moved the header away from the frame. Not only was it poorly put in, but the mufflers were right on top of the fuel pump lines and the electric fuel pump. All of which now will need moved to a better location. I didn’t think this job was going to ever be finished.

My years of experience in this business made me think to keep asking questions to these guys and see how far their wallet was going to stretch. Something told me there was more to this story than… “I don’t have the time”, and “It only needs a few things done”.

I had the phone number to the “Nodder”, I’ll call him.

“How, far do you want me to go?” I asked.

“I think he just wants a rough idea as to how much it will cost, but I think they want you to get it started too.” The “Nodder” told me.

“Ok then, I’ll rough it in, get it started and then write up an estimate,” I said.

“Sounds, good to me,” our friend the “Nodder” answered. I’m sure he was up to his usual head bobbing by now and was working his way to a full hair flip.

As I rigged up some jumper wires to the fuel pump, temporally of course, it was just enough to get voltage to the right spots. Then hot wire the coil and starter. I guess, it’s time to turn it over and see if it will start. A couple of cranks on the starter and huge plumes of fire belched out of the glistening chrome carburetor. Would it start? Not a chance, they had the distributor in 180 degrees off. Pull it out, turn it around and start over again. Oops, just noticed… they forgot the coolant. I filled the chromed out radiator with coolant… it leaked all over the engine. There were gaskets that weren’t sealing and hose clamps that weren’t tight. Another delay, another mess and, more expense just to see if this thing would start. Finally, the leaks were holding… sort of, at least enough to proceed.

Back to trying to solve the actual problem for the day… will the engine run. After priming the carburetor and a couple of turns of the starter motor the gleaming 4wd beast sprang to life… spewing oil everywhere! ! What now?!?!? There was no oil pressure switch in the engine block. Holy engines of chrome! ! Shut it off and put something in the hole. One more try … vroom! It starts and it runs, hey, and it even sounds pretty good. But the water leaks started showing up again. Seems they didn’t use any sealant on any of the water gaskets. This job is never going to end. It’s starting to sound like that old saying; “Stop counting the alligators when all you’re supposed to do is drain the swamp.” Enough alligator counting, I’m stopping! Here and now, I’ll try to make some sense out of the rest of this wiring disaster.

Now this next part of this story shouldn’t come as a big surprise. Not one of the three stooges ever talked to the other one as to what I was supposed to do. The only thing they agreed on was that the “Nodder” would take the phone calls and relay the info. I think poor old “Nodder” just nodded his way into being the escape goat. He doesn’t have a clue, he never did. Well, for that matter, neither do the other two dim wits.

A week or so later with the car resting in the shop, the three dunder heads showed up with a trailer. Now it was my turn to be wrong.

 

Number one, It was mutually understood between the trio, that they knew it all, and I knew nothing.

Number two, I was too expensive and was going to take too long to finish the job. Geez, how much time did they think I needed? I’m sure I could have done the job within a couple of years… maybe sooner. I’m so confused.

The last word on this one was that they were going to finish it themselves. My question was… when? I’ll be old and gray before these knuckleheads ever figure it out. But I’m a sucker for an old three stooges classic; I’ll sit back and watch this episode unfold. It might be a pretty good story whenever this Jeep comes out of the upper atmosphere and back to planet earth. Ynuk, Ynuk, Ynuk.

Gonzo, you mean TV and Consumer reports could be wrong?

 

When I read your comment I was laughing so hard the wife came by just see what was so funny.

 

It would be different if the manufacturers would put a campaign together where they took their products to the repair shops and gave us the chance to listen to their technical side of the whole thing first. Instead of sending all their propaganda out to the naive general public... who... seems to believe what they see on TV or the news. But a perfect world it isn't.... maybe we should make our own infomercials.... LOL

 

Thanx for the laugh Joe... that was truly funny... Just to see the wifes reaction was priceless.

We don't promote any particular brand either. We will use a certain brand if the customer requests it. We Stock Mobil 1 and Castrol but have access to most other brands.

If they ask for it I'll get it, if they ask my opinion of a certian oil they'll get that too.

I will almost always tell them to check their owners manual for the proper oil and not go by the latest TV commercial they just watched. Gonzo

Great story Gonzo! I have a neighbor/friend that's a shade tree mechanic. He's getting limited as to what he can do now. Just does basic stuff like brakes, some suspension work & oil changes. When it comes to other stuff, he doesn't have skill, tools or knowledge to do it. A little irritating to lose gravy work like that to him but if it's something he can't handle he sends them to my shop.

Joe's dad sounds like my grandfather. Never through anything out. If it was fixable it got repaired and was Jack of all skills(built his own house, did gardening, had a tree nursery, did the maintenance & repairs on his machinery plus worked for Westinghouse). Only thing was on saving things he went a little too far. He saved & collected so much junk that he had to build 2 buildings just to store it all!!!! LOL!!!

As for old tools, I still have my dwell/tach/volt/ohm meter, assortment of distributor wrenches, combo feeler gauge/spark plug gapper, allen wrench for adjusting dwell on GMs, & assorted other goodies. Ah the good old days!!!!!

 

Thanks Richard, glad ya like it. I've got about the same thing in my neck of the woods. Except it's other shops, guys that make a living ... or should I say ... make a living charging something to the customer, but not getting the job done, and then send me the car completely torn apart... and then ask me to repair it. Happens a lot.

 

Another day, another story.... working with the general public you never run out of stories... I've got a lot more. Gonzo