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The Technician Shortage Is Our Fault, And It's Time We Own It

By Joe Marconi in Joe's Blog
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The Technician Shortage Is Our Fault, And It's Time We Own It
Nearly every day, I hear shop owners complain: "There's a technician shortage. We can't find qualified people. There's no one out there." If that's true, then who's to blame?
The industry? The schools? The government? I don't know how you feel, but who promised us an endless supply of qualified technicians?
Another common complaint is that young people do not want to work in the trades. Well, if that were true, then why are other trades such as HVAC, electrical, and plumbing growing? What are they doing that the automotive industry is not?
Here's the reality we need to face: We do have a problem, but we shouldn't look for someone or any entity to rescue us. Not the government. Not the trade schools. Not the recruiting companies. No one owes us a workforce. If we want great people in our industry, it's up to us. At some point, we need to own up to the truth: Building a pipeline of qualified technicians is our responsibility.
In this blog article, I will break down the key reasons we are in this situation today and what we, as an industry, can do to solve the technician shortage. Are you ready to look in the mirror?
Have We Pushed Technicians Away?
Let's take a look at flat-rate pay. True flat rate, which pays a technician only for the hours they produce, is a controversial pay plan that emphasizes high production levels and creates a competitive work environment that, if not properly controlled, can lead to increased mistakes and a decline in morale and team spirit. Additionally, the stress and physical demands placed on technicians as they age are not favorable to long-term employee retention. What do we do with technicians as they grow older into their fifties and begin to slow down?
I have heard all the arguments and pros and cons of flat-rate pay, and I am not going to judge any pay plan. Let the facts speak for themselves. True flat rate has changed in most areas around the country and has evolved into a pay plan that gives technicians some pay guarantee.
Many shop owners have learned that team morale, along with the opportunity to earn income, is important to technicians and to the company's long-term success. But let me ask you: how many technicians have left or been pushed out over the years because of the old flat-rate pay system?
Another issue is the workplace environment. I remember being grateful to be hired as a young technician at a local repair shop. While very thankful, the work environment was not ideal. The shop owner kept the bay doors open year-round (I am from New York) unless it rained or snowed. He felt that if the bay doors were closed, customers might think we were closed for business. We had no heat and no hot water. Many of the jobs were done outside, year-round, in all types of weather. The starting pay was minimum wage, with no benefits, sick days, or vacation pay.
Now, again, I need to point out that I was truly grateful for the opportunity this shop owner gave me. I learned a lot working there, and the experience was pivotal in my career. But looking back, I wonder how many people were discouraged by these working conditions?
While the physical demands of the repair workplace are daunting, perhaps even more critical is the culture. Too many of my generation shop owners preached the mindset of "my way or the highway." We were the business owners, after all. We started our companies, took all the risks, and provided jobs. Why shouldn't we be the ones to set the ground rules our way?
Many of us found over the years that the "my way or the highway" mentality was a sure way to isolate employees and make them more likely to look over the fence for greener grass. In other words, it led many technicians to seek employment elsewhere, where they felt they could be appreciated and recognized for their hard work. The issue, however, was that there wasn't much green grass around. Disappointment after disappointment, bouncing from repair to repair shop, eventually led to despair. So, I ask you: were workplace conditions a contributing factor in today's technician shortage?
Another factor that we are all well aware of is the complexity of the modern automobile. When I started, the work was mostly physical, and you were required to master essentially three vehicle models: General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler. Let's fast-forward to today. The evolution of automotive technology, along with the extensive training and tools required, has outpaced the typical technician's pay compensation, with no clear career path. Again, leading to frustration and insecurity about the future.
Here is the bottom line: people don't leave their job; they leave their experience. We must do a better job.
The News Isn't all Bad; Your Next Steps to Fix the Technician Shortage
To fix the technician shortage, it will take a combined effort from everyone in the automotive industry, particularly automotive shop owners. Shop owners are in the perfect position to make the greatest impact, not only on their businesses but also on the future automotive workforce.
First, shop owners must become better leaders and understand that their ultimate success is directly dependent on the people they assemble around them. Any shop owner who mistakenly believes they can build an empire solely on their abilities is destined for serious disappointment. Business owners who think like this will eventually plateau. Without the collective contributions from a team of qualified people, your business will stall; it will not continue to grow.
Create a workplace that attracts top talent: a clean, professional, well-equipped facility designed to support productivity, teamwork, and a career, not just a job. Build a great reputation in your community by getting involved locally. Become the auto repair shop that people take notice of as "the" place to work.
Next, shop owners must become more financially knowledgeable. Knowing your numbers and what you need to achieve for a strong bottom-line profit is essential to paying technicians the money they need and deserve. Profit will also allow you to compete with other trade industries by providing a benefits package that has real take-home value and security.
When it comes to culture, this is where the rubber hits the road. People crave recognition, praise, and a sense of purpose. Despite what you hear, people are not just money-motivated. Once people feel secure in their financial situation, retaining and motivating technicians can only be achieved by connecting with them on an emotional level. You cannot show enough appreciation. Give out praise for a job well done as if your business depended on it, because it does.
As technicians age, we need to have a place for them. Expecting a 58-year-old to perform like a 35-year-old is unrealistic. We need to be more focused on career pathing. Provide training, skill development, and coaching to develop leaders and mentors within our older workforce. While their bodies may have slowed, the knowledge they have gained is priceless.
Our future is dependent on young people entering our industry. We need to give more young people opportunities. Every shop owner across the country should consider hiring an apprentice, then build an apprentice training plan and career path for them. If every shop did this, we could solve the technician shortage within five years. Get involved with the trade schools and high schools in your area. Look into the NAPA Apprenticeship Program. Don't sit on your hands with this one. Do it today.
Lastly, don't get left behind. Commit to ongoing training for all your employees. Keep up to date with tools and equipment tailored to your business model. Don't try to be all things to all people and all vehicles. Identify your core profile customer and the vehicles they drive, and become an expert on those vehicles and the services you offer.

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The Job Shadow and the Education Mountain [E165] - Diagnosing the Aftermarket A to Z
By carmcapriotto

Thanks to our Partner, NAPA Autotech
Matt Fanslow discusses his experience with a student from a local school who came to job shadow. This encounter highlights the challenges of training newcomers to the automotive repair profession, especially those lacking basic mechanical knowledge. Matt reflects on the student's unpreparedness and the broader issues within automotive education. He emphasizes the need for extended training programs and proper mentorship to adequately prepare individuals for careers as automotive technicians.
Show Notes
Job Shadowing Experience (00:01:19) Student's Attire and Demeanor (00:02:32) Tour of the Shop (00:03:39) Understanding the Complexity of Automotive Work (00:05:09) Student's Lack of Mechanical Background (00:07:24) Pathways to Becoming a Technician (00:11:38) Challenges in Training Duration (00:12:39) Tools and Basic Knowledge Required (00:13:51) Complexity of Troubleshooting (00:15:15) Educational System's Demands (00:16:25) Need for Extended Training Programs (00:17:58) Challenges in Automotive Training (00:20:06) Changing Backgrounds of New Entrants (00:21:07) Shift in Learning Environments (00:22:28) Expectations and Frustration in Training (00:25:01) Encouraging Job Shadowing (00:26:07)
"Ask Us Anything!" with Matt Fanslow and Brin Kline
📆 Save the Date: Thursday, December 19th, 2024
🕒 Time: 8:00 PM EST
Register Here: https://streamyard.com/watch/M3JjMR53s5Ct
Thanks to our Partner, NAPA Autotech
NAPA Autotech’s team of ASE Master Certified Instructors are conducting over 1,200 classes covering 28 automotive topics. To see a selection, go to napaautotech.com for more details.
Contact Information
Email Matt: [email protected] Diagnosing the Aftermarket A - Z YouTube Channel
The Aftermarket Radio Network: https://aftermarketradionetwork.com/
Remarkable Results Radio Podcast with Carm Capriotto: Advancing the Aftermarket by Facilitating Wisdom Through Story Telling and Open Discussion. https://remarkableresults.biz/
Diagnosing the Aftermarket A to Z with Matt Fanslow: From Diagnostics to Metallica and Mental Health, Matt Fanslow is Lifting the Hood on Life. https://mattfanslow.captivate.fm/
Business by the Numbers with Hunt Demarest: Understand the Numbers of Your Business with CPA Hunt Demarest. https://huntdemarest.captivate.fm/
The Auto Repair Marketing Podcast with Kim and Brian Walker: Marketing Experts Brian & Kim Walker Work with Shop Owners to Take it to the Next Level. https://autorepairmarketing.captivate.fm/
The Weekly Blitz with Chris Cotton: Weekly Inspiration with Business Coach Chris Cotton from AutoFix - Auto Shop Coaching. https://chriscotton.captivate.fm/
Speak Up! Effective Communication with Craig O'Neill: Develop Interpersonal and Professional Communication Skills when Speaking to Audiences of Any Size. https://craigoneill.captivate.fm/
Click to go to the Podcast on Remarkable Results Radio
The Cemetery Incident: Reflecting on Crisis Communication and Compassion [E008] - Speak Up!
By carmcapriotto

On the evening of August 29th - Craig was on his early evening Ruck when he found himself confronting a cemetery vandal.
In this episode he shares details from the event along with sometimes serious - sometimes whimsical takeaways from this ordeal.
This event triggered an abundance of reflection for Craig regarding the challenges faced when communicating under stressful circumstances. From word choices - to frantic calls - and de-escalation.
In conversations with law enforcement it became apparent that the culprit in this destruction was an individual that may be known to police - and possibly afflicted with addiction and/or mental illness. Craig shares how the general knowledge that this crime was not one of passion or desire - but the acts of an afflicted individual served to reduce the outrage that members of his community felt initially upon learning of the degree of destruction.
Note: Craig’s takeaways from this event are based on his perspectives and from trusted counsel. If you have feedback or analysis for Craig (What could he have done better? What did he do well?) regarding this event and are trained in law-enforcement, security or related fields - please reach out via email to [email protected].
Professional perspective is appreciated and we’d be happy to share your tips or advice with our listeners.
Three separate local news stations interviewed Craig in the wake of the event.
Links to Local News Stories:

Wood TV 8 - https://www.woodtv.com/news/grand-rapids/several-graves-damaged-at-grand-rapids-cemetery/
Wzzm13 -
https://www.wzzm13.com/article/news/local/caught-camera-runner-captures-moments-man-vandalized-grand-rapids-cemetery/69-eb719d08-0b90-43b0-8872-abb795e999bb
Fox17
https://www.fox17online.com/news/local-news/grand-rapids/its-heartbreaking-major-damage-overnight-at-grand-rapids-cemetery
Thank You To Our Partners:
The Institute at WeAreTheInstitute.com. "Stop stressing over your business, you deserve a good night's sleep. The Institute’s coaching helps you achieve success and financial peace.
AutoFlow at AutoFlow.com. Your partner in technology, Autoflow consolidates your client interactions - before, during and after the visit to a single thread. Learn more at Autoflow.com
AutoLeap at AutoLeap.com. Are you tired of juggling multiple tools to manage your auto repair shop? Say hello to the streamlined efficiency of AutoLeap, the #1 all-in-one Auto Repair Shop Management Software!
Shop Dog Marketing at Shop Dog Marketing.com. "Want to see your auto repair shop thrive? Let Shop Dog Marketing be your guide. Our customer-first approach, combined with AI-driven creative content, ensures top rankings.
In-Bound at CallInBound.com. Cover your communication needs and revolutionize your auto repair business with AI-driven call analytics from InBound.
Contact Information
Email Craig O'Neill: [email protected]
The Aftermarket Radio Network: https://aftermarketradionetwork.com/

Remarkable Results Radio Podcast with Carm Capriotto: Advancing the Aftermarket by Facilitating Wisdom Through Story Telling and Open Discussion. https://remarkableresults.biz/
Diagnosing the Aftermarket A to Z with Matt Fanslow: From Diagnostics to Metallica and Mental Health, Matt Fanslow is Lifting the Hood on Life. https://mattfanslow.captivate.fm/
Business by the Numbers with Hunt Demarest: Understand the Numbers of Your Business with CPA Hunt Demarest. https://huntdemarest.captivate.fm/
The Auto Repair Marketing Podcast with Kim and Brian Walker: Marketing Experts Brian & Kim Walker Work with Shop Owners to Take it to the Next Level. https://autorepairmarketing.captivate.fm/
The Weekly Blitz with Chris Cotton: Weekly Inspiration with Business Coach Chris Cotton from AutoFix - Auto Shop Coaching. https://chriscotton.captivate.fm/
Speak Up! Effective Communication with Craig O'Neill: Develop Interpersonal and Professional Communication Skills when Speaking to Audiences of Any Size. https://craigoneill.captivate.fm/
Click to go to the Podcast on Remarkable Results Radio
Rocky Mountain Oysters - Do you have the balls??
By Gonzo

Rocky Mountain Oysters Gonzo Jan 2010 At my shop I tend to do more electrical repairs than anything else. It’s what I’m known for, and sometimes I get my share of odd ball electrical problems. Sometimes it’s a factory defect where a harness has rubbed into a bracket behind the dash and shorted things out. But, a lot of times it’s some add-on that causes the problems. Usually some sort of flashy-testosterone filled bling that the owner is using to show off his macho self to all who pass by. Seldom do I see these “manly” things on a girl’s car… it’s mostly the guy’s… sorry dudes… it’s true. You guys can’t leave them alone. Ya gotta show your manhood somewhere on that Detroit steel. I had this cowboy’s truck in the shop; it’s was a late 80’s Chevy pickup, jacked up to the sky and loud. His only problem was his parking lights would blow a fuse. My usual first question is, “When did ya put in the stereo?” (Over the years I would say it’s probably the no#1 problem I find in the park light systems on these GM cars and trucks of that era.) It never fails; some goof ball is going to use the gray wire as the radio ground. I can usually tell these types of guys because they’ll “always” tell me how they used an ohm meter to check the wiring. (More testosterone showing... gotta make like they've got some "cojones"... at least, more than the mechanic who's going to fix the mess they created, you know.) The gray wire will show continuity to ground because the dash light filaments will send the meter signal to the next bulb and the next until it reaches another ground source. It’s really not a ground at all; it’s actually the positive voltage lead for the dash light circuit that is part of the factory radio. However when you turn the park lights on (Which they won’t check until the next time they drive at night.) the fuse to the park lights will blow. Happens all the time. This hombre was safe… it wasn’t the radio. Now I have to look elsewhere. One of my many “tricks” to test a short circuit on these older trucks is with 2 fuses. First stick one in the fuse box and turn on the park lights. (It came in blown, and I doubt you’re going to make it any worse) … Keep your eye on the fuse, did it blow quickly? … Or did it take a bit? When I say a bit… I don’t mean like… a second….I mean not immediately, let’s just call it a quick blink. If the fuse takes a bit to blow that tells me the short is farther away from the fuse box than closer. (Learning the difference may take some practice.) In this case this saddle sore owner’s problem was not immediate, but an ever slight delay. I’m going to look around the outside of the vehicle and see if it reveals any clues. It could be in the back or the front of this herd chasing cattleman’s Cadillac. I climbed out of the cab and headed to the south end of this northbound rig to check for any trailer wiring. (It’s my 2nd usual place to look for faulty wiring on this type of truck.) Any time you get the handy-dandy farmhand with his fence pliers working his magic on the horse trailer wiring, you’re bound to have problems. Well, how about that… it was professionally done… and in fact the wiring looked great! But there was this other foreign object dangling on the receiver hitch. Oh man … is this necessary? Bull testicles? There’s a pair of fake plastic bovine male parts rocking back and forth with every sway of this pasture cavorting vehicle. Now, I don’t know who this cowboy is trying to impress… ‘cause if I was a cow… I’d think there something wrong with this bull. And, if I was some gal in a car behind this boot wearin’, skoal chewin’, cattle jockey… I don’t think I’d be impressed either… or at all. But then something else caught my eye… and it wasn’t the swinging genitals. There’s a small wire connected to them, and the wire is connected to the brown wire of the trailer connector… which, is the park light wiring. OMG… no way…these rocky mountain oysters light up and glow with the evening sky. I don’t remember animal husbandry being a part of my job requirements. And I don’t think glow in the dark dangling beef ta-tas was covered in any of my training classes. You mean to tell me, if I disconnect the wire from this cowboy’s dangling plastic bull parts that the park lights might work? This is nuts! I can’t believe this … … this is definitely not going well today. Well, I’ve gotta try, it could be the end of my search of why the park lights are blowing the fuse … here goes… … with one hand, I grabbed this pasture-prowlers-artificial-cattle-creators and held on with an almighty firm grip. With the other hand, I took steady aim with my trusty cutters--- “Snip” ---the deed is done. Back to the fuse box and change the fuse, and then flip on the park lights. Well what do ya know, we have lights! Tell all the Angus and Holsteins on the farm – the park lights are working perfectly! ! Ya Hoo! I’ll have to admit, it’s the first time I have ever had to castrate a truck to get the park lights to work… Well, I guess, there’s a first time for everything… might as well start up my new career… You’ll find me on one of those late night infomercials or in the business yellow pages under; --- “Bull Castrator/Mechanic”--- .
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Going On A Diet - Diet or not, seems truck manufacturers have the same problem I do.
By Gonzo

Going on a Diet

“I’ll have two Fords, a Dodge, and one Toyota please. Oh, and I could go for a Cadillac later on.” The more trucks I repair, the more I’m apt to want to do more. One of these days I might have to seriously think about going on a diet. Too much to know, too much to do, and I’m not getting any younger. I’m not sure what they say about old dogs and new tricks is true, but they forgot to mention about adding on pounds slows ya down. However, with cars and trucks, the size changes, the horse power level changes, fuel economy, and luxury items all go through improvements each year. Nothing slows down the advancement of technology, not even a few extra pounds.

In the automotive world, technical and mechanical changes are a constant thing. For me keeping up with those changes is like going to the gym. It’s a constant physical, as well as mental effort that can wear a guy down with all the new stuff he needs to know, the systems variations, and the amount of work needed to get to certain components.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve put on a few pounds over the past 3 decades. I started out as a skinny kid and now, well… ain’t no kid anymore, and I sure ain’t skinny either. But have ya noticed the shape and size of the cars over the years seems to gain weight too? Then, a few years later they’re back on some sort of diet? Model T’s were small compared to the modern car. But, by the time the 40’s and 50’s came along the size of the car had increased. The model T was squarer and boxy looking compared to the more rounded body lines of the cars from the 40’s and 50’s. Well… except for those tail fins, but that’s a whole different story.

The look of the car changed again in the 60’s too! The styles seemed to reflect both rounded and straight designs, and the weight of the average car was a lot less than the older models. Then, by the late 70’s and 80’s car styling was back to the sharp edged crisp body lines, and the cars seemed to be on a different type of diet; this one was more of a fuel economy and emission diet. Of course, I don’t know for sure but, whatever the reason you could certainly tell the difference. Do you remember the Mustang Ghia II? Was that even fair to call it a Mustang? That was one car that wasn’t so much on a diet but more of an anemic excuse for a car.

Seems every decade or so designers and engineers go on some sort of diet and scale back cars to smaller and smaller models, but later on the size and shapes grow again. Along with the size changes, seems nobody can settle on what is a standard, economy, or compact size. What was once a compact size turns into the standard size and the economy car becomes more of a compact. I’ll never figure it all out myself. But, somewhere along the way they give up on the diet and all the designs fatten up again. Just look at the standard pickup over the last few decades.

I used to be able to see over the hoods of most of the standard pickups, heck some of the compacts I could even see over the roof lines too! But now, even what used to be just a small import truck has reached enormous mammoth proportions. Look at the Toyota pickup, it’s twice the size it was just 10 years earlier.

As far as working on trucks, the 60’s through the 80’s models for the most part, I could lean over the fenders and change the plugs or even a belt without having to resort to standing on the upside down milk carton. After putting on a few pounds I find it a bit harder to lean over those fenders, and standing on that shaking milk carton is making me think of going back on my diet again. With some of these bigger and better models, I should think about installing a scaffold and safety harnesses just to get to the air filters.

Some of the truck models have gone from what I would regard as a regular size to a XXXL in size. Then add the big fat tires, jacked up bodies, and you’ve got yourself a street legal monster truck. But jump up there and look under the hood. There’s no room for anything else, it’s jammed packed! If you’ve got anything substantial to do under the hood, such as a headgasket you’re better off just taking the entire cab off and hang it from the lift. Now you’re talking some real “under the hood work”!

So what’s next? Are the engineers going to go back on that diet and start coming up with skinnier, sleeker designs? Or, are they going to keep adding more and more to them until they’re all so huge that the salesman has to bring out a step ladder just so you can go on a test drive? Where’s it all end?

All this getting bigger and better has led to some changes at the repair shop, too. Some shops aren’t equipped to remove the cab of a truck to do some of the service work. It’s kind of a forced diet in a way. But, there are several other reasons shops today have gone to this regimented diet, and it’s not all because of the size either.

One reason for this self-imposed diet is the cost of the various scanning equipment to properly repair these over inflated computers on wheels. Not only are the prices varied, but the monthly/yearly fees to keep that tool up to date is another issue, and as technology advances so does your scanner inventory. Even though the scanner you have now is in perfect working order, the cars that it was designed to service have started to dwindle from the highways.

Technology doesn’t just bring changes for the consumer, but for the mechanic as well. New systems, new ways of doing old things, and new equipment are just a small part of the changes that occur. There seems to always be a newer design that mimics an older system although more stream lined efficiency. Very seldom do things remain the same. The way I’ve got it figured, there’s a mild change every five years and a more dramatic change in technology about every ten years.

The engineers and designers may do what I plan on doing, and that’s go on a diet. But, we all know… most diets don’t last long, and I’ll eventually put all the weight back on that I lost… and then some. If the history of the automotive world is any example of what may come in the future with the next generation of truck designs… the results may end up just like my diet. Go figure…

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Rocky Mountain Oysters - - - Working on a cowboy's car with some balls.
By Gonzo

Had to bring this story back out of moth balls. I'm cleaning up old stories this week and this story still makes me laugh. Thought I'd share it with ya again.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

At my shop I tend to do more electrical repairs than anything else. It’s what I’m known for, and sometimes I get my share of odd ball electrical problems. Sometimes it’s a factory defect where a harness has rubbed into a bracket behind the dash and shorted things out. But, a lot of times it’s some add-on that causes the problems. Usually some sort of flashy-testosterone filled bling that the owner is using to show off his macho self to all who pass by.

Seldom do I see these “manly” things on a girl’s car… it’s mostly the guy’s… sorry dudes… it’s true. You guys can’t leave them alone. Ya gotta show your manhood somewhere on that Detroit steel.

I had this cowboy’s truck in the shop; it’s was a late 80’s Chevy pickup, jacked up to the sky and loud. His only problem was his parking lights would blow a fuse. My usual first question is, “When did ya put in the stereo?” (Over the years I would say it’s probably the no#1 problem I find in the park light systems on these GM cars and trucks of that era.) It never fails; some goof ball is going to use the gray wire as the radio ground. I can usually tell these types of guys because they’ll “always” tell me how they used an ohm meter to check the wiring. (More testosterone showing... gotta make like they've got some "cojones"... at least, more than the mechanic who's going to fix the mess they created, you know.)

The gray wire will show continuity to ground because the dash light filaments will send the meter signal to the next bulb and the next until it reaches another ground source. It’s really not a ground at all; it’s actually the positive voltage lead for the dash light circuit that is part of the factory radio. However when you turn the park lights on (Which they won’t check until the next time they drive at night.) the fuse to the park lights will blow. Happens all the time.

But in this case this hombre was safe… it wasn’t the radio. Now I have to look elsewhere. One of my many “tricks” to test a short circuit on these older trucks is with 2 fuses. No meters, no high tech equipment, just a couple of fuses. First stick one in the fuse box and turn on the park lights. (It came in blown, and I doubt you’re going to make it any worse) … Keep your eye on the fuse, did it blow quickly? … Or did it take a bit? When I say a bit… I don’t mean like… a second….I mean not immediately, let’s just call it a quick blink. If the fuse takes a bit to blow that tells me the short is farther away from the fuse box than closer. (Learning the difference may take some practice.)

In this case this saddle sore owner’s problem was not immediate, but an ever slight delay. I’m going to look around the outside of the vehicle and see if it reveals any clues. It could be in the back or the front of this herd chasing cattleman’s Cadillac. I climbed out of the cab and headed to the south end of this northbound rig to check for any trailer wiring. (It’s my 2nd usual place to look for faulty wiring on this type of truck.) Any time you get the handy-dandy farmhand with his fence pliers working his magic on the horse trailer wiring, you’re bound to have problems.

Well, how about that… it was professionally done… and in fact the wiring looked great! But there was this other foreign object dangling on the receiver hitch. Oh, man … is this necessary? Bull testicles? There’s a pair of fake plastic bovine male parts rocking back and forth with every sway of this pasture cavorting vehicle. Now, I don’t know who this cowboy is trying to impress… ‘cause if I was a cow… I’d think there something wrong with this bull. And, if I was some gal in a car behind this boot wearin’, skoal chewin’, cattle jockey… I don’t think I’d be impressed either… or at all.

But then something else caught my eye… and it wasn’t the swinging genitals. There’s a small wire connected to them, and the wire is connected to the brown wire of the trailer connector… which, is the park light wiring. OMG… no way…these rocky mountain oysters light up and glow with the evening sky. I don’t remember animal husbandry being a part of my job requirements. And I don’t think glow in the dark dangling beef ta-tas was covered in any of my training classes.

You mean to tell me, if I disconnect the wire from this cowboy’s dangling plastic bull parts that the park lights might work? This is nuts! I can’t believe this … … this is definitely not going well today. Well, I’ve gotta try, it could be the end of my search of why the park lights are blowing the fuse … here goes… … with one hand, I grabbed this pasture-prowlers-artificial-cattle-creators and held on with an almighty firm grip. With the other hand, I took steady aim with my trusty cutters--- “Snip” ---the deed is done.

Back to the fuse box and change the fuse, and then flip on the park lights. Well what do ya know, we have lights! Tell all the Angus and Holsteins on the farm – the park lights are working perfectly! ! Ya Hoo!

I’ll have to admit, it’s the first time I have ever had to castrate a truck to get the park lights to work… Well, I guess, there’s a first time for everything, might as well start up my new career. You’ll find me on one of those late night infomercials or in the business yellow pages under; --- “Bull Castrator/Mechanic”--- .

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