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    • By Joe Marconi
      At this very special time of the year, I would like to wish all the very best life has to offer.  My gift from all of you are the amazing posts and contributions each of you have made to help each other and help the industry.  It makes me proud to be among such an elite group of shop owners!
      Thank you all!  Merry Christmas!  Happy Holidays!
      Joe Marconi 
       
       
    • By Gonzo
      Twas the Night before Christmas (Mechanic style)   Twas the night before Christmas,  and all through the service bay, Not an engine was stirring,  just old Santa’s sleigh.     All the air hoses were hung,  by the compressor with care, The mechanics had the day off,  I’m the only one there.   I was just an apprentice, but wanted to show St. Nick just what I knew, My boss was all for it, said it was OK if I turned a few screws.   With visions of being a full time mechanic, dancing in my head I was going to give it my best shot; I’ll fix this old sled.    I gave the key a twist,and listened in dismay, That little red hot rod needed service, in such a bad way   Then from under the hood there arose such a clatter, That even St. Nick had to ask, “So, what’s the matter?”   I flew from the driver’s seat and raised the hood in a flash, Nearly stumbling off my feet, from my quick little dash.   The under hood light, glimmered onto the engine below, The fan belt had broken, and a spark plug blew out a hole.   It’s something I can handle; I learned this stuff in school, I’ll have this fixed up in no time; it only takes a few tools,   I started it up and all eight cylinders were firing away Just a few minor adjustments and he could be on his way   That’s when I noticed, his sled was packed full of all sorts of toys… He hadn’t finished his deliveries, to all the girls… and boys.   He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot   Anxious he was, to finish his trip as soon as he could, With my wrenches a flyin’, he knew that he would.   It was up to me, to get it fixed this very night, He still had a long way to go, before it was daylight.   His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.   And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. I knew it was Christmas Eve, so I couldn’t say no,   He had a broad face and a round little belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.   He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.   His sled was like new, after the job was all done, Now that it’s fixed, he could get back to his run.   He reached into his huge bag, and pulled a box out with a jerk, Said he knew just how to thank me, for all of my hard work,   I ripped open the present, and Oh, what a sight! Snap On wrenches and sockets!  Boy was he right!   As he pulled from the parking lot, he held the throttle to the floor, Just to show off, he passed by the shop, once more,   This guy Santa, he’s a little strange, at any rate, He had a name for every cylinder, in his little V8.   I could hear him shout, so loud and clear,  Naming off each cylinder, as if they could hear.   "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!   I heard the tires screech, as he caught second gear, Off to deliver those presents, some far, some near.   Then, I heard him exclaim, just before he drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”  
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    • By Gonzo
      12 Days of Christmas        at an Automotive Repair Shop   You know the song, so just sing along with me in the holiday spirit.   On the 1st day of Christmas  a customer sent to me: A cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 2nd day Christmas a customer sent to me: 2 Latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 3rd day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 3 Wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.    On the 4th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 4 Wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 5th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 5 Piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 6th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 6 Brand new sockets, 5 piston rings,  4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 7th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 7 Dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings,  4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 8th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 8 Engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 9th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 9 Coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 10th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 10 Headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 11th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 11 Gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   On the 12th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 12 Trannys slipping, 11 gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings,  4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.   Speaking on behalf of the entire automotive repair industry, Thank you to all our customers for their patronage.  We appreciate it. Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 
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    • By Gonzo
      Picture This
       
      Years ago my younger brother came to work for me. He didn’t know a thing about cars, but was willing to learn all he could. Teaching new techs is an art that most shop owners have to learn to do, but teaching your little brother can be a chore and can test your patience. I muddled thru it all and taught him what I could. I was sure at some point in time the two of us would butt heads like brothers will do, and he would take his new found skills and move up in the rank and files of the automotive technical world, but in the meantime it was his turn to learn from his older brother.
       
      When he first started I would walk him through each step of how to diagnose a certain system in a car. A lot of times he would have questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. He learned quickly and was really sharp at picking up some of those little details that are harder to teach. You know things like how you held a certain wrench or used a certain tool, to you and me it’s no big deal. But to a novice, it’s a revelation, then you (I) tend to forget to mention those certain traits while you’re teaching. Mainly because you are trying to get to the solution as efficiently as possible, and you neglect to bring it up. Such as: “always test your test light connection before testing what you’re testing, or don’t forget to check for all your tools before you pull the car out of the shop….” Things like that.
       
      One day we had a truck come in with dual fuel tanks on it. The gas gauge wasn’t working and needed some attention. This was a perfect opportunity for Junior to learn a few of my short cuts on these old models. It was an older Ford, in which the tank gauge ran thru the tank switchover button. It was rather easy to pull it out of the dash and connect to the gauge from the back of the switch.
      Luckily it was the typical problem I’ve seen a hundred times in the past. The switch connections would melt and the tank wouldn’t switch from the front tank to the rear, and of course the gauge wouldn’t move either.
       
      After locating the correct leads to the gauge and to the tanks I decided to show him how the gauge worked. I hooked up the one of the tanks to the crossover lead that would supply the signal from the tank to the gauge.
       
      “Ya see this, that’s the lead to the fuel gauge in the dash, and this is one of the tank wires. I’ll connect these together and we should get a reading on the dash,” I told him.
      He was watching intently, taking in all the wiring diagram information, the location of the wires, and how I was bypassing the switch. He was fascinated with the flow of the current and the way the gauge would respond. I even went as far as moving the gauge from full to empty by opening and closing it to a ground signal. While I had his attention I filled him in on the two types of gauges that were used back then (bimetallic and magnetic) and how low resistance on a bimetal type gauge would read near a full tank, while a magnetic gauge would read close to empty. Change the resistance and the gauge would/should read accordingly.
       
      “So, if we put gas in the tank the gauge should move right? That way we could check the sending units in the tanks too,” he asked me.
       
      “Great idea, grab a gas can and let’s add a few gallons,” I said, excited that he was so interested in the project.
       
      He grabbed a can of gas and poured a few gallons in the tank. I was watching the gas guage carefully, but there was no movement. I knew I was on the right wires, but nothing was happening. Now what? Are there more problems?
       
      “Crawl under there, and check to be sure the wire color is correct,” I yelled from the cab to him.
       
      “Yep, it’s the right wire on the tank.”
       
      “Well, we might have to pull the tank; it’s not changing the gauge readings up here.”
       
      “Before we do that let’s add some more gas, maybe we didn’t add enough,” Junior tells me.
       
      I thought I better go back and help hold the funnel, while he poured the gas in the tank. Unknowing to me, all this time my wife (who was the office manager) was listening in on the whole thing. She likes to keep tabs on me, and make sure I’m not going into one of my usual rants or having a fit because I had to explain something over and over again to little brother. This time she was standing at the corner of the shop just behind the truck with a camera. “CLICK”, I heard the camera shutter go off and she was back there laughing like there was no tomorrow.
       
      “What’s so funny?” I asked her.
       
      “You two idiots have been putting gas in the wrong tank. You’re on the front tank, and you’re putting gas in the rear tank,” my wife answers, laughing hysterically.
      About then the camera “clicked” again… this time it was an action shot taken at precisely the exact moment when these two idiots had that dumb struck look on their faces and realized what they just did. The shot had both of us on our knees, one holding a funnel and the other with the half empty gas can, and both of us staring right into the camera lens. Couldn’t have set it up any better if you tried.

      The picture clearly showed the side of the truck with both fuel tank doors visible and there was no doubt which tank we were putting in the extra gas. I guess it was one of those things I should have mentioned when we were checking the tank senders… make sure we are both on the same tank.
      For years that picture hung over her desk, and anytime I thought I was so smart she would point at the photo. Usually with that typical smirk, usually shaking her finger at me and of course the laugh… she had to laugh, but it wasn’t all that funny until she had me laughing about it too. Ok, Ok, I’m not perfect... and now my little brother knows it too.
       
      These days he’s a top notch tech at a dealership, and I have to call him on occasions for some help on how to solve things once in a while. Oh the photo… uhmmm… what photo?? Somehow it’s missing… haven’t seen the darn thing in years. But I guess I really don’t need to see the photo … the wife has a pretty good memory... she reminds me just how smart I think I am every chance she gets.
       
       
       
       
       
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    • By skm
      I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays to ALL !!!!! 
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