How Accurate Are Reviews?

         According to some surveys over 80 percent of the buying public rely on reviews as a way to determine if a product or service is suitable for them.  That being said, are those reviews a true depiction of the business or product, or can those reviews be skewed by a person’s attitude or ego coming through?  That’s the problem with these reviews.  They’re often written by an individual with something to say, who only has half the facts but a whole lot of fiction.  A lot of times they’re writing a review, but don’t fully understand the product or the service.  Sometimes they’re upset for various other reasons that aren’t related to the product or service at all; it’s more of two egos colliding together, but write a review they do.   

         Automotive service seems to be one of those services on the chopping block with the average consumer.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a dealership repair facility or an independent shop, somebody is going to have an opinion about something good or bad.  Although typically, the disgruntled person who is going to write a less than desirable review is usually the same type who goes to a restaurant, eats their entire entrée, then complains to the manager they found a hair in their soup and want the whole meal removed from their bill.

         I’m always open to suggestions from the business experts who tell repair shop owners to put themselves in their customer’s shoes and ask themselves what they would want in customer service if they were the customer.  It’s a good way to look at things, but I also tend to wonder what is going through the minds of some of these people who make the decision to go to a rundown repair shop in an old building with their hand painted sign dangling by a rusty nail, only to complain that the service and repair was substandard. I mean, what did you expect?

         What’s more disturbing are those who leave a comment, but don’t even have the nerve to leave their real name, nor have ambition to confront the repair shop before confirming their complaint.  I had one who left a comment with the name “Chris P. Bacon”.  Now, I’m not knocking the fact that your mother and father with the last name Bacon decided upon Chris P. as your first name. I’m just not sure you’re who you say you are.  Besides, you’d think I’d remember a name like that on a RO. The name, and the complaint….sounds a little… too crispy. But like any of these reviews, the big problem comes in trying to right the wrong by removing these posts. It can be a bigger ordeal than you can imagine.

Is there a cure?

         So, what to do?  Well, it’s pretty simple.  Ask all your customers to leave a comment every time they have any type of service work done at your shop, and not wait for a problem and let that be the only review.  Start using the digital world as a billboard to let everyone know what you do and how well you do it, not just as a complaint department for those disgruntled irritants who seem to use the internet to voice their opinions on subjects they don’t really understand.

Are you part of the problem?

         As usual, your tone of voice and off color sarcasms may not be for everyone.  Of course, that may be just the way you talk and act, and not necessarily an attitude, it’s just you.  For some people, that’s not acceptable, which means from the get-go you’re not going to have a very successful relationship with them.  For me, I’ve never been one to think I was going to make personal friends with everyone that came in the door I always figured you get what you give. You come in with an insulting attitude about my trade and profession you’re going to get the similar type of attitude back at ya.

         This is where as a shop owner, or head mechanic, you’ve got to take a step back and realize the service counter may not be the best place for you.  If your expertise is diagnosing the various systems in today’s vehicles and not in holding a meaningful conversation with a soccer mom, even if they came in to the shop telling you her van is overheating because of a faulty tail light. You know there’s no way that could happen, but you can’t keep your mouth shut or think you’re going to correct the situation by telling them, “Nope, that can’t happen ma’am”, maybe you don’t belong behind the service counter.  You might be turning into your own worst enemy.  Doing the work is one thing, getting the work in the door is another.  That’s where hiring a service writer or taking some business coaching classes to become more aware of your personally fault, and yes… we all have faults.  It’s just sometimes hard to admit it or recognize that we have them at all.

Grasping at the reasons why

         The big thing to consider is whether or not these reviews are justified from your approach to the repair, results of the repair, or perhaps your reactions at the service counter.  You have to ask yourself, “Are these reviews worth the time to worry about, or are they a real representation of the shop?”  Either way, if 80 percent of the buying public refer to them, whether they are good or bad reviews, that’s still a lot of potential customers reading them.

Digital reviews are here to stay, and I would say they are important to the future jobs you may or may not get into your shop. Maybe you shouldn’t put a lot of faith in the accuracy of some of these reviews if you know deep down they’re not true. It’s also good to keep in mind that most sensible people reading can see through those crackpot type reviews, and if plenty of your good customers are saying something positive in a review it will offset those wacky responses.  It’s all in the perspective other people have that’s important.  It’s a reflection of your abilities you want to shine through. The accuracy of these reviews is important, and sensible people as well as yourself, know the real story.  Now, make sure everyone else knows too.

 PM Importance

         The mere idea of an intermittent problem that can’t be reproduced is a diagnostic situation that comes up way too often for mechanics.  Another is the car that comes in that has had absolutely no preventative maintenance performed, and we all know how that’s going to end up.  After decades of being behind the service counter, as well as under the hood, I do get a bit frustrated that people won’t do any preventive maintenance, or neglect to tell me about an intermittent problem they’ve had forever, because they feel it has obviously nothing to do with the reason they’re here today.  

         I can only do so much, and without some prior history of any symptoms or what work that has been done, it makes it rather difficult to do my job as a mechanic to the best of my abilities.  Information is the key when it comes to just about any subject, and preventive maintenance can lead to a lot of information, which is by far the cheapest and best way to prevent even larger problems.

      I found out the hard way a PM doesn’t just apply to the family car. Your internal engine needs some maintenance once in a while, too. Neglecting the early signs of an intermittent problem with a car may not have as devastating effect as neglecting your body’s own advanced warnings. Let’s face it, a car drops a valve or burns out a PCM, all your friends and family don’t send flowers or come visit you in the service bay. This is one of those times when the sure footed mechanic with all of his snarky comments about people who don’t listen to their car and won’t relay the pertinent information to their mechanic is now the patient, not the repair guy.

         Hardly a car will make it for its entire life without clogging the EGR passages, blocking the VVT ports, or have the occasional reduced air flow from of a dirty air filter. It’s inevitable that some sort of maintenance procedure will need to be performed to maintain that “as new” drivability. Me, the mechanic, well… I don’t have a check engine light to forewarn my impending doom.  If I’m feeling a bit down, maybe a bit slow, or a slight tightness in the chest I’m likely to shrug it off and get back to work. Until the pain literally throws me to the floor, while clenching my favorite ratchet to the chest, this stubborn old guy won’t realize I’m about to cash in on that life time warranty I thought I had. You know the type: the “A” personality, all knowing, self-assured, and can take care of any problem on my own mechanic guy.”  Well, age and time, diet, stress, and my family medical history have done me in.  You’ve met your match, Buster. You’re about to throw a rod.   

         The mechanic with “A” personality traits, and the “I’m the guy with the answers, and I’m right so often it’s a shock when I’m not”, as well as the, “Large and in charge” attitude usually means they’re (I’m talking about myself of course) not likely to listen to anyone else. They tell themselves those chest pains felt off and on are from some bad pastrami, but it’s a heart attack and it’s only going to get worse. And, it did.  I can still hear all the times my wife and kids harped at me as I was being wheeled down the hospital hallways on the gurney, watching the neon lights zip by as I was rushed into Triage. 

 I hate to say it, but that’s me to a “T”.  I often wondered why the surgeons were held to such high esteems, and why they all seemed to have an air of confidence about them. I believe it’s a result of the years of training, the years of answering questions, and the years of listening to halfwit, poorly conceived ideas of what ails a person from people who have no idea what they’re talking about. Which is not that different than what the trained mechanic goes through on a daily basis.  People ask questions and expect educated answers.

         Basically, if you’re one of those guys who pushes himself all day and night, works from sun up to sun down, or tells the wife that my job comes first and we’ll go on that big vacation when I retire, are fooling themselves and their families.  Most of the time you’re so busy you forget to PM yourself.  You overlook the obvious signs of an impending failure from those intermittent chest pains or backaches, etc.  Life’s too short to say, “I’ll wait until later to get checked out.” 

         Imagine what the surgeon is thinking when he props your chest open, looks in there and sees obvious lack of PM.  Don’t be the mechanic in every situation.  Don’t assume that you can fix everything. There are other people out there who are just as professional in their field as you are in yours. Hopefully you’ll get a second chance as I’ve been given.  Don’t waste it on working until you die. The customer cars will wait.   Follow your body’s PM schedule, and you’ll get to live a little more.

Repairing by the Numbers

         Now and then, I’ll get a car in the shop that you can clearly tell some amateur has been fiddling around under the hood.  Things are out of place, harnesses and lines are not strapped down, or they’ve come up with some concoction to seal an oil leak.  Nothing surprises me these days, especially after all the years I’ve been at this.  Whether it’s a homemade battery clamp or gobs of pepper poured into the radiator to seal a leak, I’ve probably seen it before… and then some.

         Once in a while, some of these in-the-ditch repairs truly are a road side emergency, but I tend to believe with proper maintenance even those repairs could be avoided. I’m not saying you won’t break down on the side of the road, I know I have, but we aren’t driving around with points and condensers or 2 ply tires anymore.  Cars have far more reliability built into them than the cars back then.  Even though the number of repairs has dropped considerably, the number on the bottom of the repair invoice rises with every new technology added.

         Like everything else in the modern world, it still comes down to the numbers.  The dollar number that is.  Car repair can be expensive, especially considering the amount of training, tools and equipment needed to perform the various diagnostics and repairs. However, there are still a number of people who take car repair and maintenance as something that can be taken care of with cheap off shore parts and a shade tree, no matter what the problem is. That number is soon to change.

         The number of sensors, cameras, and multiple layers of high speed computer data in the modern car changes the way a lot of repairs that once were simple, like a cracked windshield, or a piece of trim falling off into a calibrated control system service.  A consumer, or for that matter a repair shop, who is unaware of the complexities of these new systems and tries to penny pinch a seemingly minor problem, may inadvertently be putting themselves, their passengers and the other motorist at risk.

                  The days of bailing wire and homemade repairs has reached the end of the road.  Cars are far too sophisticated and complex for shoddy repair work from either the unaware motorist or those repair shops with antiquated repair methods. This is where training the consumer about their car is just as important as training the technicians. 

Things like replacing an outside mirror after Junior clobbers it backing out of the garage, aren’t as simple as before. Now, they’ll need to be calibrated and realigned because of the cameras and sensors in them.  Even minor fender benders can’t be taken as lightly as before. A few stray piece of duct tape might hold the bumper on, but cover up a radar sensor.  However, with these systems in working order, the likelihood of getting in a fender bender or getting too close to the garage door has been diminished by those very same cameras.   

         Cars aren’t built like the solid tanks of yesteryear either, and why should they be?  The technology and the way the vehicles are built goes hand in hand, and it’s not just about fuel economy or creature comforts, it’s about the safety of the occupants as well.  

         In short, the modern mechanic is going to have their hands full programming, calibrating, and setting up the modern car for those minor mishaps that the average motorist gets involved in. Even now, insurance companies offer better rates if your car is equipped with some of the latest radar and protective systems, such as crash avoidance and lane departure awareness systems. 

Keeping these rolling computers in working order isn’t going to get any cheaper, either. Someday you might even count the number of times the technology in your car made a difference to you and your family’s safety, and for those reasons the numbers don’t matter. Saving a dollar is a smart thing to do, cutting corners on repairs isn’t.  Repairing the car by the numbers just doesn’t add up when it comes safety and reliability.

How Long is a Labor Hour?

         Did you ever stop and wonder how long a labor hour actually is?  I’m not talking about time ticking away on a clock. I’m talking about the actual time spent on a repair vs. the labor guide’s suggested time. Personally, I’ve never had a job that started and finished exactly to the second of the given labor time.  It’s not like the labor guide’s hourly chart is set in stone, or that they’re wrong, but when it comes to getting paid it sure seems like they are.

         Any mechanic will tell you that a labor hour can stretch to half a day if a lot of research is involved, or it can last 15 minutes. Most labor guides typically don’t take into account how much research, diagnosis, equipment setup, or the time it takes recover your 10mm socket that just fell down into the motor.

         Time, as they say, is money. If you don’t think so, take your car to any bodyshop and read off the labor charges.  You’ll find the labor time is divided into a 1/10^th of an hour. However, in the mechanical repair shop, seldom are the labor costs scrutinized as they are when dealing with insurance companies. Even still, I’ve never once been asked to break down the mechanical repair labor into diagnostic time and the actual physical labor when giving an estimate.

         Estimates are usually quoted by the R&R labor time for a particular repair.  Generally, that doesn’t include diagnostic time.  Even though the book time has been calculated out, it’s still not a complete guide and certainly not the Holy Grail of the repair industries time clock.  Try sticking with an estimate for changing a starter that’s listed as one hour job.  More than likely the estimate is only going to be quoted straight from book of a one-hour labor charge and not any diagnostic time included.

        Even with all the technically advanced diagnostic tools a professional mechanic has at their disposal there are still people who can’t understand why diagnostic time should be included in the labor estimate, even though it’s not part of the R&R for the component.  In their mind, (as I’ve been told numerous times), the mechanic should already know what’s wrong when they pull their car into the shop.

        What’s worse is the price shopper who calls from shop to shop looking for the cheapest repair. I’d bet to say the cheapest quote is probably nothing more than the R&R labor time for whatever part they’re concerned about. However, nobody mentioned anything about the crusted connections at the battery, or the leaking valve cover that’s coated the starter in oil, or whether you’ve installed aftermarket headers. Not to mention any diagnostic time, because the real problem isn’t the starter at all.

         On the other hand there are the stop watch aficionados. You know, the people who literally count the seconds of every minute and are bound to argue over any labor time discrepancies on their invoice. The mechanic’s entire career, (in their way of thinking), is strictly turning bolts and slapping on parts. These tick-tock-time-keepers, watch their timepieces with precision and inevitably use “time” as the only determining factor for the cost of a repair. 

        For instance, let’s say the book time said an hour, and everyone involved agreed upon the charges, but the mechanic got it done in 25 minutes. The argument has always been that the cost of the job should be no more than the time it took to do it.  Should the mechanic be penalized for doing his job proficiently and having completed it early? Where does it say he should give the job to the customer at some discounted rate because he can beat the book time?  Doesn’t seem right at all. But, what if the same job that was quoted for an hour has taken four hours to complete? Who pays for the time difference now?

         So in a sense, a labor hour isn’t an hour at all.  It’s an arbitrary amount of time that may or may not be exactly 60 minutes. If it was as accurate as some people believe, then theoretically you should get an estimate for that hour’s labor, pull up to the repair shop, and walk out in exactly 60 minutes with the job completed.  Not a second sooner or a second later. Yea, good luck with that one.

         Like most trades mechanics get paid by the hour, however it’s not like you punch a time clock in the morning, work all day, then collect a 40-hour paycheck at the end of the week.  Most mechanics work on flag time. Realistically, let’s call it what it really is… piece work, (the piece being the car). Very few mechanics are offered an hourly pay and a guaranteed 40-hour work week, (although there are some places that use a combination of both flag time and hourly pay).

         More times than not, a mechanic ends up eating a whole lot of labor time for problem solving. Whether there are rusted bolts, bad connections, illusive intermittent problems or poor information from the get-go, something is going to use up time which eventually won’t go towards a paycheck.

          Any time money and people are involved in the same situation, and you’re dealing with something that’s not widely understood, such as the modern car, it’s up to the mechanics and the repair shops to make sure they do.  Customers also need to understand that this is a business based on suggested labor hours and not a time clock. There needs to be a reasonable amount of trust in the labor guide estimates from both sides of the counter.  Because, it’s hard to say how long an hour of labor really is.

Tell a Mechanic to Telematic

         Telematics, the latest in automotive communication.  Not a communication between systems and scanners, but a communication between the car and mechanics. All without driver intervention.

For generations, when you have a problem with your car, you’d tell a mechanic.  That’s all about to change as we head into the future with global positioning, drive by wire, and even more computer control in the modern car. Instead, your car will talk directly to the service center.

The mechanics will know when the car needs serviced long before the owner decides whether or not it really needs to go to the shop. With telematics, a mechanic can even watch the car’s condition in real time, which could make the search for intermittent problems a thing of the past.  Of course you could call it another form of “Big Brother” watching your every move, but it’s all in the name of creating a safer and more efficient vehicle for the consumer.

 The transition to a telematics system is inevitable. Change is part of progress, as they say. These new and ever changing technologies are what dictates the cars of the future. We might be driving a hybrid model, or a full electric, or perhaps a hydrogen vehicle by the time telematics is common place. 

         But, for me, the mechanic who services these technical wonders, it’s going to change things in a way nobody ever expected.  And that’s in the initial diagnostic work. There will be a lot less effort spent on trying to sort out the problem with the car when the mechanic asks, “So, what’s wrong with your car?” Think about it, we have such a sophisticated piece of machinery operated by the average consumer who has little to no knowledge of how it actually works. When a problem arises the only indication is this little yellow light on the dash.      

      Then, with some sort of symptom in hand they’ll head to the repair shop. Their answers to the question of what’s wrong with their car can be far from being technically correct or even in the same ball park sometimes, which makes the mechanic’s job that much harder. The car and telematics, on the other hand, both speak “mechanic”.

For example, take these encounters at the counter, and imagine how simplified it would be by telematics telling the mechanic, instead of the driver telling the mechanic.

         A lady called to tell me her computer was flashing. She told me that it would disappear and then reappear.  I asked, “I’m sure you’re not talking about the little box mounted under the hood or under the dash disappearing and reappearing, are you?”  Obviously not, she was talking about a light on her dash for the traction control.  Rather than telling me it was the traction control light going on and off she kept insisting that it was the computer that was disappearing.

 Last week it was an intermittent problem. A repair shop tried the same part three times and it still didn’t fix it.  The owner of the car was wondering if I thought it could be something else. 

Or, the guy who ran his truck out of gas and the repair shop told him the new pump they put in just a few months ago burnt up because he ran the tank dry. I told him that it’s virtually impossible to burn up an electric fuel pump by running the car out of gas, and that he must have a problem elsewhere. Turns out his truck has a dual tank setup and the transfer pump was faulty, but the repair shop only replaced the fuel pump, and filled the empty tank.  (I seriously doubt they even know how to diagnose it.)

         So where does this all lead too?  Simply put, less second hand information, and less likely to have parts-swapper repair shops slapping unneeded components on a customer’s car without properly testing.   

Half the battle of getting to the root of car problems is sorting through all the hearsay and gossip about what could be wrong from untrained and unskilled people, or people with a vague idea of how things work, who then mislead the consumer with some half-wit idea. Now everybody has an opinion about what’s wrong, but nobody knows how to fix it. Chances are even those free code checks at the parts stores will be a thing of the past, because the code, or problem, will have already been sent to the agency, repair shop, or dealership long before the owner has a chance to make that drive to the parts store.

         If there was ever anything, that changes the automotive repair industry in a big way, for both the independent and dealership repair facilities, it’s definitely a working telematics network of professional shops across the country.  I know I need to keep in mind there are still a lot of mechanics and repair shops that won’t agree. Some shops are stuck in the 20th century and see cars as mechanical machines with a few wires and a couple of computers. I’m sure there will be these type of shops around for years to come that will still fix cars with a timing lights and dwell meters. True, but as I see things shaping up, more and more mechanics are likely to be using a scanner or scope to diagnose and repair a car rather than a socket and ratchet.  Let’s face it, times are changing, and so will the type of work the mechanic will be doing in the future.

         Obviously, wearable items such as brake pads, timing chains, oil changes, and electrical components will all need to be serviced as they age, the big difference is how the mechanic finds out about those failures.  The modern car can go a lot farther between scheduled maintenance than cars from just a decade ago, but very few people bring their cars in for periodic maintenance, and far fewer follow the recommended intervals for regular service.  Telematics, will take care of that. It won’t be left up to the consumer or to a book crammed in the back of the glove box or that occasional email from the repair shop; the car will tell you when it needs to go in for service. It might even send you a text or email too!   

         Chances are you’ll show up at the repair shop with not much more than a vague idea of why you’re there, but the car has already talked to the mechanic. No need trying to explain things, he already knows. All you have to do is deliver it to the shop.  Of course, if we’re talking about a time far into the future and you own an automatous car, the car might take care of that all by itself, too. Just think, you won’t have to try and explain things to the mechanic by reenacting the sound and motion the car made just before it acted up, or how you watched a YouTube video that you’re certain is the solution to the problem. Don’t worry technology has taken care of it all. Telematics, will tell the mechanic.

Have ya seen this before?

         Have I seen this before?  The typical question asked by that skeptical customer.  How do you answer the question?  I find it rather hard to know which way to answer it.  A yes answer can lead in one direction, and a no answer can lead in an entirely different direction.  Not answering, well that’s not going to work, either.  Whichever way I answer their question only leads to more questions, or even more skepticism, but answer it I do. That’s how a lot of these repair jobs from the skeptical consumer begin.

         A typical phone call or skeptic customer at the counter tells the service writer about their car, which usually involves another shop or Uncle Bob.  You know Uncle Bob, the family car expert guy. The skeptical customer is at the service counter not so much to get their car checked in, but to do a little investigative research on the shop and the mechanic’s skills.

After telling their story of what the last shop did or what Uncle Bob tinkered with, sooner or later the proverbial question pops up, “Have you ever seen ‘this’ before?” They’re expecting some grandiose reply that either shows a spark of intelligence, or some sort of genius level response that even Uncle Bob could never achieve. Rarely does it ever make it to the genius level; most of the time it’s a mere curiosity to the mechanic that we’re even discussing apples to oranges. All he wants to do is test for a solution and not guess at a repair.   

         Just for the sake of argument, let’s say I’ve answered the question with a “Yes”.  A yes answer is always followed up with, “So, what do you think it is?” now instead of diagnosing, testing, confirming and repairing their car I’m playing a round of Jeopardy. Even though my answer isn’t in the form of a question there’s still money involved. Their money that is, and it’s not the daily double.

Inevitably, if I throw out a probable cause it’s almost always countered with, “Uncle Bob tried that already” which only leads to a second attempt on my part to come up with a new and spectacular answer to their problem.  If my answers turn into Jeopardy answers such as, “What did Uncle Bob do to the car?” we’ll soon be back to the skepticism and doubt on their part that I can tackle their seemingly impossible to solve problem.

         However, if I answer with, “Nope, never seen that before” it sends a message of incompetence or lack of knowledge and skill about their problem, and most likely even more skepticism. I guess you could say if the customer asks, “Have ya seen this before” I’m probably going to avoid saying “No” more times than not. What I’ve always wondered what the real purpose of asking the question in the first place? Are they looking for some assurance, or is it more of a check to see if I’m competent enough to handle the job? What is my reaction?

         I think it goes back to my dad and the TV set.  

         In my younger years every TV had tubes.  Yes, I know, I’m dating myself.  Anyway, if the TV set would go on the fritz you didn’t call a repairman, well at least not my dad, he would pull all the tubes out and take them down to the TV shop and test them.  He wasn’t a TV repairman by any means, but if he “thought” the problem was a bad tube he knew he could test them for free at the TV shop.  You see, most TV sales and service store had a free tube tester on the showroom floor.  Simply by sticking the tube in the appropriate socket and pushing a button you could find out if the tube was good or bad.  Of course, while he was there he’d work the service guy over with a series of questions trying to get the guy to tell him what he “thought” the problem might be.

         As years went by the same principle of removing a component and bench testing it carried over into the automotive world, such as a starter, alternator or even an ignition module, for example. If you “thought” a certain component was bad you could remove the part and take it to the local parts store where it could be bench tested free of charge. While you were there getting the part tested you could play a round of Jeopardy with the parts guy, who in most cases, had a pretty good working knowledge of the cars of that era.

The parts guys were usually the first to see or hear about a problem, and sometimes the parts guy and the mechanic were one in the same person. Problems were somewhat predictable and for the most part common from car to car.  There weren’t as many variations between electronic circuits or mechanical systems.  As the years have progressed so has the modern car, and guessing at what I “think” might be wrong with a particular system doesn’t have the same typical answer it did back then.

         Nowadays, asking if I’ve seen a particular problem may not be as easy to answer or as simple as removing a part and bench testing it. These days, it's like asking my dad if he’s ever seen that certain tube go bad on the TV set before. Believe me, he had no more idea of which tube was going to fail than the man on the moon. Maybe it’s time we remove the quote “Have you seen this before” and let it fade off into history just like those old TV tube testing machines. 

         Cars are so different than they were back then, but people, well… they haven’t changed much.  Technology changes a whole lot faster than the average person’s conception as to what is involved in repairing the modern car.  Cost is always a factor, and those cheap shade tree type shops that rely on “I think it’s this” to make repairs will probably be a thing of the past as the interconnection between manufacturers and the independent shops grows closer and closer.  The trend these days is for the manufacturer to hold a tighter grip on their products. This is going to lead to a compromise between the professional independent shops and the manufactures in certifications, component purchasing, and information. Maybe then when somebody asks, “Have you seen this before?” the professional answer can be, “I can test the system and then find out the results.  At that point I can say whether or not I’ve seen it before. That will be $xxxx to perform that certain diagnostics.”  The days of the free tube check followed by drilling the service guy for answers is a thing of the past.

I think you can sum it all up like this, “Yes, I’ve seen it before, but what your problem is exactly, I won’t know until it’s tested”.  

A Tisket A Tasket

         Every mechanic worth his salt loves a good challenge when it comes to something mechanical.  Tearing engines and transmissions apart and putting them back together is kind of like “automotive therapy” for most professional wrenchers. These “therapy” jobs come in all sizes, big and small, and even in green and yellow baskets. They all start out as recognizable pieces of machinery but are now a disemboweled mechanical nightmare, haphazardly strewn into a motionless collection of parts at the bottom of a cardboard box. Yes, I’m talking about the proverbial basket case.

         They really do come in baskets, but cardboard boxes, shopping bags, burlap sacks, pillow cases, milk crates and the occasional pickup bed loaded down with what can only be described as pure chaos will suffice for a good old fashion basket case. True to form, the owner of these discombobulated ancient relics will always tell the mechanic the same thing, “Everything is there.”  Yep, everything is there alright. Everything you took apart is probably there, but what about all the parts that were missing before you started?  You know, those parts that probably set this whole thing in motion, and why it ended up in these assorted parts boxes.  And, I believe you when you tell me, you haven’t lost a bolt, a nut, or that specially shaped washer that is rarer than hen’s teeth to find. (Not!) 

         What makes matters worse is not so much what they took apart, but how they took it apart.  There are numerous components that seasoned mechanic knows better than to try and separate, even though there might be some obvious screws or fasteners or a sealed cap. However, to the weekend nut spinner it looks no different than any other part. Somehow, someway, they manage to take that sealed cap off of a spring loaded diaphragm, and the next thing you know … zip, zoom, zing, sproing… the internal pieces fling into the next county. I can only imagine how much time and effort went into removing that sealed cap!

         From window tracks to engine components, nothing is sacred when it comes to how or what someone will tear apart and then give up on.  Sooner or later the quest and the ambition to put it back together dwindles down to another feeble attempt they can mark off of their bucket list.  They’ve lost hope of ever putting it back together again.  Then, it’s time to toss all the pieces in the nearest basket or container. Someday, they’ll finish it, sell it, or maybe take it to a real mechanic.

For the mechanic, the real challenge is trying to figure out what in the world is in the basket, what can be reused, and what has to be replaced.  Sometimes the person who brought this basket case to the mechanic just purchased it at some ridiculously cheap price, thinking it can’t be that bad to put back together.  Other times, even before they’ve bought these jumbled together crates of parts, they’re already working on how to spring this on their favorite mechanic. Once the mechanic gets his eyes on their latest flea market find the first thing he’s usually is wondering about is why in the world it was torn down this far apart in the first place.  Sometimes it’s obvious, other times it only becomes apparent when you start pulling things out of the boxes and assembling what’s there.

         A perfect example of this was the time an old rare motorcycle came to the shop in bushel baskets. Since it was an old regular customer, and I’m always up for a good challenge, I thought, heck, why not, I’ll give it a go.  Turned out the baskets contained enough for about one and a half engines, and as usual several parts were missing.  Once I sourced all the missing pieces I could come up with, I managed to get it back together. I was in for a big surprise when I fired it up though.  On the very bottom of the engine block there was a slight crack that only could be detected after the engine was warmed up. I really think this was one of those basket cases that should have remained in the basket.  And, wouldn’t ya know it, the only part that wasn’t in the baskets and impossible to find… the engine block. 

         It’s simply amazing the extent that some people will go to when tearing down a piece of machinery.  I’ve done countless restoration projects where the entire car, bolts and all, end up in little plastic bags, as well as cardboard boxes.  I usually mark each box or bag with a number, starting with the first part I take off in a bag labeled #1.  Then, using a log sheet I work my way from the last number back to number #1 when reassembling. Seldom do I lose track of the components that way. But, to see these haphazard collections of wires, bolts, brackets, and grease covered components in the same box, all twisted together makes this anal retentive mechanic with a touch of OCD cringe every time.

         I’ve got to admit the hours spent sorting through the boxes brings out that “kid in the candy store” reaction from me. It adds to the experience of trying to bring life back to an old forgotten piece of machinery, and there’s no telling how long some of these basket cases have been abandoned back in the corner of some old garage.  Whether it’s a hundred year old oil pull motor or a rare foreign car with no source of replacement parts, the challenge and the stories you can tell afterwards are priceless.

 None of these basket cases ever pay nearly what they should, but is it really about the money on these projects? For me, it’s more about the achievements and the chance to say, “I did it.”  Yes, these basket cases can be a real challenge sometimes, but honestly, after you’ve put the last bolt on, turned the last screw, and got it to fire up, you can look back on the whole experience and tell everyone how you brought one more forgotten relic back to life, as well as emptying a few peach baskets.  That’s when it’s time to flip that peach basket over and sit down and take in all that you’ve accomplished. Believe me, it’s great therapy, and you’ll be smiling from ear to ear when that hunk of iron is up and running again.

        There’s the bargain hunter, the bargain shopper, the bargain finder, and the “I ain’t shopping anywhere, unless I get a bargain” shoppers.  But, there is one more bargain shopper who tries their best to get something for nothing at the repair shop, and that’s the “Sinch’ ya bargain shopper. 

         The sinch’ ya bargain shopper isn’t hard to find, they’re everywhere.  But, there are a lot of places where this form of shopping never works, such as the grocery store and at the gas pump. Now, the sinch’ ya shopper may try it at a doctor’s office, but I seriously doubt when they’re at the dentist getting a cavity filled they’ll ask, “Sinch’ ya got that tooth fixed, can ya look at this other one too?” and not consider the fact your dealing with a professional who gets paid for that sort of thing.  Basically, what they are trying to accomplish is to get one thing done while sneaking in something else.  You know the type.  At the repair shop it is a habitual occurrence.

         Take the guy who comes in for a brake job, and then asks, “Sinch’ ya got it here, could you see why the check engine light is on.”  Sometimes, the shop will bow to their request, but a lot of times this simple check ends up taking a considerable amount of the technicians time, because the problem in question isn’t a simple problem after all. 

         It could be their thinking process assumes it’s no big deal, since the car is in the service bay already. Although, sometimes it’s pretty obvious it’s an intentional effort to slip in another repair on the cheap. And you can bet, if the mechanic checks things out and finds it’s a major issue, they’re not inclined to pay for any diagnostic time. I mean what was the mechanic thinking?  They just wanted you (the mechanic) to “look” at it, not diagnose it.

         Now, that’s another thing. That word “look”.  It seems to go hand in hand with the “Sinch’ ya” bargain shopper.  “Can ya look at this for me too?  Since it’s here?” however, when the service writer says, “They’ll have to charge you for the time to look at it”, you can bet the next thing they’ll say is, “Oh, never mind then. If it’s going to cost me anything I’ll just wait until next time.”

         That little word “look” tends to lead to other issues as well. Time after time I’ve been asked, “Well, if ya can’t look at it for free, what do ya “think” it is?” Oh here we go again.  Now, the mechanic isn’t looking, he’s gotta think, sinch’ ur there and all. Which is probably the worst idea ever. Guessing at a repair just starts the wheel of parts spinning and hope it lands on something cheap. You can guess at a probable solution, with luck and experience the mechanic might actually have the correct answer. But, I have to wonder, is that all they really wanted in the first place? You know,  a free spin on the parts wheel.

 Obviously the answer can only be based on what information was given.  What if it’s not the right solution?  What if the mechanic’s answer doesn’t match what they’ve researched on the internet? What if they think it’s still something else and the mechanic is wrong? Now what? I’ve solved these “thinking” answers with my own little tidbit of wacky wisdom. I’ll tell them, “I try not to think. It gets me in trouble every time. I’d rather test it and be sure.” Which only leads to, “Then, what would be your best guess?” 

         Now we’ve gone passed the sinch’ ya, the look, and the think, and have gone straight to the guess.  I’ve got a standard answer for the guess.  It’s an answer that throws the whole question of sinch’ ya, look, and think right out the window.  I tell them, “Well, it sounds like butterflies in the muffler.”  Imagine the unusual stares I get. For me, it’s a priceless moment. It’s about then they realize I’m not about to tell them anything worthwhile about my job, their car, or their problem.  Let’s face it, the long and short of it all is thinking, looking, and sinch’ ya’s don’t put supper on the table. 

         Of course, it’s all about the dollar.  It goes back to why it’s not such a good idea to give estimates over the phone without knowing the condition of the vehicle.  Despite their best efforts to explain things, I’ve found over the years if they knew what was wrong in the first place chances are we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

         But, sinch’ ur here, maybe I can make an exception.  Maybe I’ll bend a bit and take a look at the problem.  Yea, I’ve slipped up more than a few times, usually after I’ve forgotten the golden rule of not “looking” at a customer’s car unless we’ve agreed on a fee.  And, what happens 99% of time?  They’ll thank me and tell me they’ll be back later to have the work done, but I wouldn’t hold your breath you’ll ever see them again. 

         In large, urban shops the whole concept of the sinch’ ya bargain hunter is probably a whole lot different than the same type of customer in a small rural town.  Meaning, there isn’t one set rule or answer to the issue.  The big problem for both the big city and the small town is educating the customer, as well as the technician on what it takes to do this job.

         I’ve got to admit, after 3 decades of working on cars I still don’t quite understand the general public. Sinch ya’ gotta have them, you might as well “look” at their car and tell them what ya “think”, at least that’s my best “guess”.  But, I am sure of one thing, when I retire from all this wrenching and scanning I won’t be the bargain hunter type of customer. I know from experience what it takes to do this job, and I highly respect anyone who takes on this trade and performs the job with professionalism.  But, I might ask ya to check the butterflies in the muffler, sinch’ ya got it in the shop and all.

Panic Attack

         Getting your car repaired can be a trying experience for a lot of people.  It could be the cost, time without their car, lack of trust with mechanics in general, or their understanding about automobiles.  It can put some people into an all-out panic attack. Then, throw into the mix the car in question is an elderly parent’s car that the son or daughter has taken on the responsibility of getting it repaired, or a parent’s own offspring’s ride to school or college. The sudden realization of sending one’s own child out into the vast world is bad enough, but put them behind the wheel?  It’s just too much stress for some parents to deal with.

 I can’t begin to count the number of times a parent, who’s on the edge of a nervous breakdown over their son or daughter’s ride has said to me, “I don’t want my kid driving that car if it’s going to break down.”  Ah, news flash … all cars will at some point in time . . . break down, but don’t panic we’ve all had our turn on the back of a tow truck, and we’ve all got a story to tell about it.

          When an elderly parent is involved, usually I’ll get the same old answer, “Well, dad shouldn’t be driving anyway.”  But, when one of the kids is placed behind the wheel it’s a completely different story.  Just the mere thought of a flat tire or using jumper cables, or worse yet the fuel pump goes on the fritz can leave some parents in a panic mode worthy of a Hollywood Oscar.  Sometimes, it’s not the repair that matters as much as a little assurance from the mechanic that everything is going to be fine.  For the mechanic, it puts him/her in a spot that no text book or technical seminar ever covered, and that’s how to be consoling and showing compassion for the situation to ease their tension and frustration.

          Sometimes, even the best bedside manner isn’t enough, you’ve got to go over every issue one at a time. Especially if the car in question has enough miles on the odometer to have traveled to the moon and back.  A lot of times the car is a hand me down from the family, but as soon as “Junior” or “Princess” gets behind the wheel things start going wrong. We all know it can’t be because of the age of the car, or how it’s driven… of course not. Junior does no wrong, and little missy is a perfect angel. The mechanic is entirely to blame why this old car can’t stay on the road without breaking down. Then again, ask any mechanic if they’ve heard this line before, “It’s been a good car, and it’s never broken down before.  In fact, we’ve never had to have it serviced.”

There are other ways the mechanic gets involved in creating an atmosphere of trust outside of their tool box.  Sometimes, the mechanic has to fix the parent more than they need to fix the car.  One Friday afternoon, a call came in about a 20 year car that had a battery issue.  After a brief explanation of the problem, the mom said she could have it at the shop right after the new tires were put on.  The car showed up, but mom wasn’t driving. It was Grandma.  She was assigned the duty of sitting at the tire shop waiting on the new tires, then drive it over to my shop to have the electrical problem checked out.  Grandma had enough of auto repair shop lobbies, old magazines, and stale donuts and asked if there was any place to go shopping nearby while I checked the car out.  I gave her a few ideas and places to go, and before long she got a ride and left me with the car.

          The problem turned out to be nothing at all, just a loose clamp.  However, a few other issues were pointed out during the follow-up phone call with mom.  Mom had no idea about any other problems, which only made her concerns of sending her offspring to college in a car with any type of problem even more heightened, even though the problems were minor, such as a faulty wiper blade refill and an electric seat that didn’t move.

          We had a rather long chat about the overall condition of the car, and after explaining to her that a ripped wiper blade refill and a power seat that didn’t’ work wasn’t much at all to worry about.  The wiper blade was an easy fix, and since the seat was in a position that worked well for the youngster there wasn’t any need in digging into that problem.  All and all mom’s panic attack had softened to nothing more than a concerned parent looking out for the wellbeing of their child.  She was much more at ease sending the boy to college after our conversation. Grandma came back from her shopping trip and picked up the car later that same day.

          Just before closing the phone rang, it’s the mother again.  This time she was talking so fast I could hardly keep up with her. She was on her way with jumper cables to go rescue grandma who was stranded at the local grocery store. Knowing that I just had it in the shop and checked things out very carefully, I was quite surprised that a problem could even exist.  By now, the mom is in full panic mode frantically telling me about the car.  I said to her, “I can assure you, the battery couldn’t have gone dead that quickly.  My guess is that it’s something else, like it’s not in park, or an overheated starter motor.”  

    “Well, I don’t know how that could happen,” said the frantic mom. “I’m sure the battery is dead, because this is exactly what happened last time.”

          A few minutes later she called back when she got to the car.  I could hear the ignition warning chime going off in the background as she was giving me the third degree over having the car in the shop and obviously not finding the problem. I abruptly interrupted her, “Ma’am, would you try to put it in park first then start it.”  I could hear the gear selector sliding into park, and the engine starting.  There was a moment of silence, then in a soft voice she said, “It wasn’t in park.”  (In the background I could hear grandma apologizing the whole time.)

           Needless to say, this frantic mom, calmed down almost immediately. She was impressed that I knew what the problem was even though I was nowhere near the car. (Lucky guess actually).  She was even more impressed that a mechanic, yes a mechanic, didn’t just take her money and leave her high and dry, but helped make a bad situation a whole lot more tolerable.

         Not everyone is cut out to be a mechanic, no more than everyone is cut out to be a brain surgeon.  You’ve got to have the right kind of moxie to take on the challenges of this job. Fixing cars in one thing, but you need to master patience and understanding when it comes to dealing with the unaware, uniformed, and quite cautious general public.  Sometimes, being a mechanic requires fixing things without a tool box.

Down and Out in the Service Bay

         A big portion of a mechanic’s job is to deal with troubles. From trouble shooting, trouble codes, trouble with tools, diagnostic troubles, and then some parts that can be nothing but trouble. Trouble seems to go with the job description, but what’s most troubling is a customer’s car that decides to end it all in the service bay without any prior warning or inclination that something dreadful is about to happen.  Take this next story:

         A car comes in for a routine brake job.  Nothing special, just the typical front pad replacement and rotor resurfacing.  The job is going well, no trouble to speak of until the mechanic attempts to restart the car and check the brakes.  Just as it starts a low grinding noise is heard from the engine, and within a split second the noise goes from a soft metal grind to an all-out attack on your ear drums.  The engine starts to lope in cadence with the metal-slapping-metal sound. 

The noise is deafening; mechanics in the other service bays have stopped what they’re doing to find out where the noise is coming from.  To the mechanic’s ear, this rattling, bone jarring clanking sound can only mean one thing… a connection rod has just snapped.

         As quickly as possible the key is shoved into the off position.  The mechanic races to look under the hood, only to find oil has sprayed all over the engine bay.  That clanking rod, well… it blasted a hole the size of the Grand Canyon into the side of the block.  Oil is still oozing out of the now dysfunctional engine as the service manager and a whole squad of front office people make their way to the scene.

         The question on everyone’s mind is, “Who’s going to tell the customer?” and “How did this happen?” The car had no signs of a pending failure as it was checked in at the service desk, the porter who drives them into the service bay didn’t have anything to add, and the mechanic who did the brake job was dumbfounded that such thing could ever have happened in the first place.

         Well, it did happen, and yes, it’s not the first time and certainly not the last.  Whether it’s a truck frame that was so rusted out that once it was put on a lift it literally split in two, or that old customer who came by to have the trunk light bulb replaced and left his car running just outside the service bay. As you’re fiddling with the bulb, the fan belt shredded and lodged itself behind the water pump pulley so tight that you had to replace the water pump.  There seems to be no end to the way some cars want to commit suicide while they’re near the service bay.

I’ve had similar issues over the years myself.  Timing belts that spit teeth off on a test drives, CV shafts that snap as the mechanic turned the corner to align it up with the shop door, to countless electrical components that suddenly and mysteriously failed at the moment I got near them. 

One time I had an regular customer who stopped by just to visit.  Not for any service work, just to say Hi and see what I was up to. When he went to leave, the front pump in the transmission decided this was the right time to call it quits. Right there in front of the shop! Which of course led to me dropping what I was doing and perform an impromptu and hasty on the spot unscheduled diagnosis.  Neither one of us had any clue as to why this car decided this was the appropriate time and place to end it all.  At least it was already lined up for the service bay!  

Talk about being down and out in the service bay.  Like there’s not enough trouble to deal with, then things like this happen. Some of it is so strange that you’d swear somebody made it all up, but it’s all true. Some have an explanation, others are a complete mystery, but it does happen.

Most of the time there is a bit of information that’s been left out of the scenario. Usually the guilty party won’t confess right off the bat, but sooner or later the truth does come out. Although, the car can’t talk, the remaining shrapnel and other broken parts will leave plenty of clues as to what was the origin of this latest suicidal attempt.

I’d like to say, “I’ve seen it all.” But who am I kidding? There’s always something else that will surprise me in the future, and I’m sure every mechanic has their own down and out story they’d like to tell.  Misery loves company… so what’s your down and out story?

So, What’s Wrong With Your Car?

It’s the typical question asked at the service desk of automotive repair shops across the country. You’d think the answer would be simple, you know, just tell the service writer what ails the car, but no… that’s not the typical answer from the do it yourselfer.

When asked, some people have a hard time keeping things simple. Their answer isn’t really an answer, it’s more of a statement of the things they’ve done to their car. Now why is that? How come when the service writer asks, “So, what’s wrong with the car?” the answer is, “I changed the battery, the alternator, and I rewired everything under the hood.” Which sounds more like what they did to the car, rather than what is wrong with the car.

It troubles me to hear things like this over and over. All I want to know (as the mechanic about to service the issue) is what is wrong, not what you’ve done. Believe me, any mechanic worth his salt will figure out what you’ve done to the car. What he lacks is the reason you’re here in the first place.

I’ve even tried to rephrase the question, “So, what brings you here today?” That doesn’t seem to work any better. It’s like some unwritten law of responses; the DIY’r type customer has to begin their dissertation with what they’ve done and not the actual problem that brought them to the repair shop in the first place.

Now, if the service writer starts the deliberation with, “In as few words as possible, tell me what is wrong.” It doesn’t seem to help at all, and if the question asked is, “So, what did ya do to it?” that only puts them in a defensive mode which doesn’t improve the answer or any further forthcoming information. Ya just gotta stand there and listen intently and with unbiased interest in their tale of tales.

I often wonder if the whole thing is a pride issue with some of these guys. Maybe what they are really telling the service writer is more in line with how they tried to fix it but failed, rather than actually trying to explain the problem they can’t solve. Somehow the mere explanation of all the individual parts that were changed is supposed to inform the mechanic of things they shouldn’t assume are the problem.

There are those who finish their story with, “and, everything checks out good.” How’s that ever happen? If everything is “good” you wouldn’t be having a problem.

From the mechanics point of view, “everything” has to be rechecked under the guise of the proper identification of any components replaced, the quality of those components that were replaced, as well as checking the wiring. Once all that is confirmed then the mechanic can check the signals and voltages. It’s one of the many things that separate the DIY’r from the professional. A pro will diagnose things rather than simply change parts. A systematic list of diagnostic procedures isn’t that hard to follow, but understanding the results can be.

Apparently that’s where I find it hard to follow some of these DIY’r logics. They’ll come up with some goofy name for a part or symptom based on their background or something they’ve overheard. None of which have anything to do about automotive repair or cars in general. But, you’ve gotta listen to their story, no matter what they say.

I’ve found over years of being behind the service counter, you should never ever interrupt or correct their explanation. Just let them get it all out, and then hopefully work back to “So what’s wrong”. I’ve been tempted more than once to stop them in the middle of their story, hold my hand up and say, “I didn’t ask you what you did. I asked you what’s wrong.” I’m not sure that would go over that well.

While they are well on their way of their next novel and spilling their tool box of parts they’ve changed in verbal form, I’m trying to keep up with it all by writing as much of it down. Usually, I’m crossing off things as their explanation goes further into the story about how they don’t want you to check that part (because it’s new) or that particular part they just mentioned was changed years ago and hasn’t been a problem since, but for some reason (which they’re not sure of), it suddenly has become extremely important to inform me about it. By the end of the story I’ve gone through a blank invoice on both sides, a scratch pad, and ran out of ink in the pen.

To top things off, a lot of these home garage repairmen insist on waiting, or in a lot of instances want to watch. This for the most part, can be just as frustrating for the mechanic as listening to their saga. Most shop insurance policies frown on having a customer in the shop area due to the numerous pieces of unusual and dangerous types of equipment, let alone getting in the way of the process of diagnosing the problem. If you want to watch, go find a You Tube video on the problem, the repair shop is not an educational outlet for the uniformed.

Sometimes, the DIY’r is pretty sharp and might actually have a working knowledge of their car. It’s rare, but there are a few who really could tackle their problem without consecutively changing the alternator five times in a row. Let’s face it, car repair isn’t rocket science, but as the technology proceeds into even more data lines and computer systems it might as well be. Which to me, means an even wider gap between the DIY’r and the professional mechanic, and probably a whole lot more unbelievable stories at the service counter.

Will the question at the service counter change? Will the answers from the DIY’r get to the point before the service writer has to break out a second scratch pad or a new pen? Probably not. There’s something about fixing your own car that brings out the mechanic in all of us. Whether it’s a pride issue or to save the cost of a professional mechanic, DIY’rs will still give it a try with little to no information. Just wing it and see what happens.

Don’t worry, they’ll still sell parts, and they’ll still sell tools, as well as the good ol’ free code read at the part stores. Oh, and there are manuals at these parts stores too, but you don’t need those. They are for someone who doesn’t know about cars, not somebody like yourself? (I’m being sarcastic, of course) So there’s plenty of opportunity for a new “So what’s wrong with your car?” moment at the local repair shop.

When stumped, they’ll find a pro to check their car out. And, I’m sure they’ll still tell the service writer their entire story about all the parts they’ve changed, all the books they’ve read, and how many You Tube videos they’ve watched, without ever getting to the “what’s wrong” until the very end. It’s just the way it is.

But I already know what the service writer is thinking after they ask, “So, what’s wrong with the car?” and the answer turns into a long winded story. Yea, he’s got a pretty good idea what’s wrong with the car...you worked on it first.

The Unassured Motorist

You’re driving down the road when all of a sudden the check engine light comes on. The car begins to sputter, cough, and nearly dies. You find yourself in need of a good mechanic, so you decide to make a few phone calls. But which one? Who can you trust?

Motorist should be cautious when trying out a new mechanic, even recommended ones. The reasons for being cautious are as varied as the car problems themselves. It’s not like you can go to good ol’ dad for the repairs. Things are bit different than they were just a few decades ago.

Back then the car manufacturers built the cars and good ol’ dad kept it running by tinkering on the family car in the drive way. Every conceivable part was available at the corner parts store, and since most everything was rather simple, dad could tackle just about any job.

Very seldom did the car go to a regular repair shop, unless you had one of those dads who didn’t work on cars. By the time the computer age came along, good ol’ dad had met his match. Things were getting too complicated for the average guy to work on the family truckster. More and more parts were dealer only with a no return policy, so taking guesses at the repair could affect the family budget. (But we all know good ol’ dad never, ever guessed at a repair.)

The computer age might have done more for the mechanic and consumer relationships than just changes in the automotive world. Now, it’s not good ol’ dad fixing the car, but some stranger at a repair shop, and some of the motoring public may not be too sure the guy with the big tool box knows what he’s doing. It’s that lack of assurance in the mechanic’s abilities which can hold back a lot of repairs at the shop. (Of course, we never questioned good ol’ dad’s qualifications). More to the point, qualifications are important, but the repair shop has an even bigger responsibility of reassuring the motoring public that they can do the job.

Sooner or later, every repair shop and mechanic will encounter an unassured motorist. They’ll question the cost, perhaps ask how long the shop has been in business, or maybe (very rarely) ask to see their credentials. It’s important that there is a trust established between the shop and the unassured motorist. This ultimately comes down to how you (the service guy) answer their concerns and how comfortable the motorist feels with the answers. Otherwise, the shop loses out at the intersection of lost work and bad reviews, because the damage done from an unassured motorist may never be fully repaired.

For some, the mere thought of paying someone too “look” at the car is enough to send them back out the door. Good ol’ dad never charged them for looking at the car, so why should this guy with the expensive scanner? It might be a carry-over from years gone by when mechanics were more grease than data signals. I’m not sure. Thankfully, the old stereotypical vision of a mechanic is slowly disappearing as the sophistication of the modern car increases.

Sometimes just a single word can break down the newly found trust with the service center. Things like, “no warranty”, “obviously, you don’t understand”, or “your problem sounds expensive”. To the motorist who is unsure about a repair shop, certain phrases just might be the tipping point to leaving their car or leaving with their car.

Keep in mind, they have questions, too. “Have you seen this type of problem before?” They’re not just asking if the shop is familiar with the problem, they’re asking if they’ve fixed this kind of problem before. (Hmm, never asked ol’ dad that question.)

Of course, if they’ve already self-diagnosed their problem, and the mechanic is trying to interject with their own “over the counter” diagnostics, it may inadvertently cause even more confusion.
Sometimes, the unassured motorist can be even less sure of the repair shop’s abilities after a repair or diagnosis. Especially if the diagnostic results are something they’re not familiar with or have never heard of before. For instance, the mechanic tells the motorist their alternator is bad, but they’ve never seen the warning light on the dash stay on. Even though the mechanic goes over the test results and describes the problem thoroughly, there’s still some doubt.

Being too technical, or not technical enough is a fine line between understanding and disbelief. It’s still a question of trust. The best bet for the repair shop is to give the unassured motorist the most honest answer they can give and try to answer their question as best as possible.

But, that’s not all. There are thousands of unrelated reasons why someone would favor one shop to another. It may come down to those political protest posters the boss left behind the counter, or the location of the shop, maybe your religious affiliation, or it could be something about the shop decor.

So what are the best ways of helping the unassured motorist become assured? What makes it work at one shop may not work at all for the shop down the street. The best thing we can do is to treat everyone fairly and with respect on both sides of the service counter. Regardless of where they come from, or what their political and social beliefs are.

Repair shops need customers, customers need repair shops, and they both need assurance from time to time. All it takes is a bit of understanding and confidence … and maybe a bit of reassurance once in a while.

Mechanics 3.0
There’s a time and place that everything that is new becomes old. It’s so true in the computer world that changes takes place almost overnight it seems. One day it’s Windows 7 the next it’s Windows 10. In some respects these changes greatly improves how the average consumer’s interacts with each other and conducts their daily lives.

Which for the most part, is what all those changes are supposed to be about. Those same principals affect the automotive world too. New procedures, new testing methods, different scanners capabilities, and tons of new technology seem to pop up overnight. Which also means one more thing to the automotive mechanic… time to update their personal skills.

In most states there’s no regulation to keep someone from poking around under the hood of a car, or for that matter, hanging a shingle on a shop door and call themselves a “mechanic”. Tools and training aren’t requirements either. The unsuspecting consumer is at the mercy of the phone book (and other sources) to find a shop that can actually make the appropriate repairs they need. They never ask the shop whether or not they use the latest equipment or knows how to use what equipment they already have. No, of course not, price is the important part, not training or technology, and price seems to be their only incentive to go to certain shops. They’ll take cheap services over skilled mechanics every time and then when it doesn’t work out, they’ll blame the entire industry for their misfortunes.

But, on the other hand, it takes more than money and a few high end scanners to make a shop function properly. It takes trained individuals that dedicate their time and efforts into performing the tasks at hand. If you’re lacking in one of those areas you’re probably going to have a tough time keeping up with the changes. Scanners you can buy, money you can borrow, but the trained technician, well… that’s another story.

Unlike it was decades ago, and I’m talking a long long time ago, a good mechanic could learn nearly everything they needed to know by listening and observing other mechanics in their local area. In fact most of the tools they needed could be purchased off of the tool trucks or at the local department store. Even though the tool trucks offer nearly every conceivable tool these days, they don’t have access to the manufacturer type scanners and certain specialty tools. Which can be extremely important when it comes to certain programming issues and repairs. But, tools don’t make a mechanic.

These days, the on the job training aspect has become more than a mechanic checking out what’s going on in the next service bay. It’s worldwide now, with different mechanic groups popping up everywhere. Everything from diesel mechanics to scope readers and anything else in between. There are groups with websites, on Facebook, Twitter, and hundreds of other places. Some are private, some are public, but they all have one thing in common, and that’s sharing the knowledge about today’s cars.

Think of it this way, the knowledge needed for today’s cars is far more in-depth than one person could ever completely understand. It took a team of engineers to design and create these modern rolling computers and one mechanic can’t possibly know every aspect of every system in every car. To be today’s mechanic you really have to be more involved with the world around us and absorb as much of that information you can from these groups across the globe.

Obviously, some things haven’t changed that much on cars. Such as tie rod ends, and lug nuts for example. Sure, there are different styles and different sizes but their functions are exactly the same as they were 50 years ago. But, that can’t be said about the engines electronics, transmissions, heating systems, charging systems and a whole lot of other systems that I could mention. Let’s not forget about all the systems the latest technologies have made available to the modern car. Such as lane assist, adaptive cruise control, tire monitor systems, and so much more.

These are the changes the modern mechanic has to keep up with or they’ll soon fall behind. Technology has changed the car mechanic world forever. You might ask, how is a mechanic to know about all of these changes? Simple, get involved and be involved with a these technician’s groups and use their knowledge to advance your own.

Now, for those younger techs out there. That doesn’t mean ignore the grumpy old guy in far back corner that the boss sends all the old cars to. There’s a lot more he has probably forgotten than you’ll ever find while tapping around on your phone. Just the same, when the old guy comes over and asks you to reset the oil reminder light it may not be that he doesn’t know, more likely he’s letting you youngster feel important. He may not be running Windows 10 but he’s definitely not obsolete. He’s fine running the older Mechanics 1.0 as his operating system. Besides, they’re usually pretty smart guys in their own rights and probably don’t want to know or care to learn all that computer mumbo-jumbo.

Think of updating your mechanic skills the same way you would think of updating your old computer. No doubt a lot of shops have a few old scanners sitting on shelves that aren’t used anymore. Mainly, because they’ve been outdated by the newer systems and most likely the cars those scanners were designed for are long gone as well.

However, changing to a new system on your laptop also means that you’ve got to learn how to use it too, that goes for the mechanic as well. Everything eventually gets updated, and if you want to keep current you’ve got to update your skills as well as your computer. There’s always something that’s changing, new software, new tools, and of course new skills to learn. It’s all part of the modern mechanics world with something new to learn each and every day. Keeping up is part of the process, besides, you don’t want to be the last guy in the shop still running on Mechanics 3.0.

Building a Canoe

Have you ever noticed when you’re relaxing at home, or at work trying to accomplish something, sooner or later somebody comes along and asks, “So, whatcha doin’?” It happens to me all the time. Around my house though, there’s a typical answer you’ll get if you ask such a question, and that’s, “I’m building a canoe.” Meaning, “It’s not all that important what I was doing. Thanks for caring, but I’d like to get back to what I was doing.” It’s a running joke at my house. Nobody takes it seriously. It seems at my house, no matter what the situation is, somebody is building a canoe somewhere. Now at the shop, well, I’m not sure anyone would understand “building a canoe”, and it definitely wouldn’t be appropriate. But, I’ve certainly had my fair share of chances to shout it out from time to time.

Take the typical phone call that asks, “If you’re not real busy right now, I’ve only got a couple of questions I’d like to ask.” Not a problem, nothing is as important as helping the next person in line. Go ahead and ask, but if the questions seem to be from the far side of the lake I might start answering with nautical terms or what size oars I’m carving out. By then, you’ll know I’m probably not following your line of questions too closely.

Let’s face it, I’m just a mechanic. According to some, I’m supposed to have more in common with a Neanderthal than a rocket scientist. Figuratively speaking of course. But, at the same time, I’m supposed to have the solution for any type of problem at a moment’s notice, and know exactly the cost of each and every part from each and every manufacturer cataloged in my brain, and if I can’t answer their question with the answer they expected I must either be a Neanderthal, or I’ve spent way too much time building canoes and not on my chosen profession.

It goes back to the old school of thought that it doesn’t take a lot of brain cells to do this job. I’m not sure where that comes from, or how it ever got started. But, if you’ve watched a few old TV shows from the 50’s and 60’s it’s pretty clear that the portrayal of a mechanic is almost always one of a dopy guy with a greasy rag hanging out of his pocket who couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation with anything beyond a boat oar. That perception has gotta change, these days it takes a highly trained, technically savvy mechanic to diagnose and repair the modern car.

Like many professional mechanics, I don’t spend my time under the hood of a car to answer questions. I’m there to do my job, and that’s fix the car. But, there are those occasions when one of those rubberneckers is leaning over the fender and you know at some point they’re going to ask, “Whatcha doing now?” I seriously want to break out into a long dissertation of how I’ve been building this canoe. It’s probably best I don’t paddle in that direction, as I’d have to explain the canoe thing.

Being so involved in your work is one thing. Being asked questions while you’re working is another. Sometimes it’s not a problem, while other times it throws you so far off you’ve got to regroup your thoughts and start all over again. I’ve often wondered how a psychologist would interpret some of the things I hear at the shop. Maybe I really don’t want know, maybe I’m the crazy one and everyone else is just building their own canoes.

A perfect example was a hot afternoon with several jobs going all at once. The shop was buzzing and everybody was super busy when this guy came to the service counter. “Ya got a second? OK, OK, like… I changed the starter, the battery, and the ignition switch. Then, I changed the window switch, all the relays, and the fuel pump. I was told it could be the power steering pump, so I changed that too, and while I was at it, me and a buddy replaced the heater core. So, so, how much do ya charge to look at my car?”

For me, I prefer the logical approach to answering customer’s questions. That is to answer each and every one of their concerns correctly and professionally. But in this case, which end of the canoe are we talking about? I’m not quite sure what I was really asked. There I am just paddling along (working out in the shop), doing my thing, and when I pull up to the shore line (run up to the service counter) somebody starts telling me about what parts they changed on their car and not necessarily problems I’m capable of solving. Do I ask this guy, “I take it the car doesn’t start?” or do I answer the only question that I actually heard? Is there more than one canoe involved in this story, or have I been paddling on the wrong lake all this time?

By now, I should have a whole fleet of canoes. But, I never ever seem to finish the first one, before I’m swept downstream on another adventure. There’s always another job, another phone call, and another, “Hey, do ya got a second to answer some questions?” Which usually leads to another canoe.
Working on cars, and all this high tech razzle dazzle stuff can be a trying effort, but it’s what mechanics do every day. It’s one of those jobs that seems easy, but in reality, it’s not. It’s something that not everyone is cut out for. It has its rewards as well as its down sides. But for the most part it’s a great career choice and if you’re like me, finding and fixing the problems is what it’s all about. However, I wouldn’t mind building canoes as a career choice either. It’s another one of those jobs where working with your hands is the only way of getting things accomplished, and I’m definitely a hands on type of guy.

We all could use a little more time to just float along and enjoy the gentle current and scenery. You know, take in the big picture for a change, and realize none of us really have it that bad after all. Maybe a little less of that rush-rush and hurry up-stay-on schedule in our lives. Mechanic or canoe builder, every trade has their issues. But, when the day is done, and we have that moment to sit back and forget about the shop or that next car we’ve got to work on, it’s the perfect time to day dream about a leisurely float down a lazy river. So, as you’re sitting there in your easy chair, smiling, taking in that imaginary scenery and somebody comes along and asks, “Whatcha doin’?” just tell them… “I’m building a canoe.” It’ll be our little secret.

You Know you’re a Mechanic if:
I’ll bet you’ve been turning wrenches and talking with customers for quite some time now. You’ve probably tossed around the idea of changing careers at one time or another, too. The grease, grime, technical and mechanical stuff, as well as the various ups and downs of the day to day drudgery all fits you like a glove, but you’re still not sure if you truly are a professional mechanic. Worry no more. Here’s a list of the probable reasons to convince you that you really are what you are, a real life professional mechanic.

You have no trouble spending more money on the tool trucks than you do on your girlfriend or wife.

You know every type of automotive fluid by taste, but not by choice.

Losing a socket is more frustrating than losing your keys.

You have to wash your hands before nature calls.

You’re a bit smarter than a fifth grader, especially if a fifth grader had to answer questions about the technical and mechanical aspects of the modern automobile. But, naming the capitals of all 50 states isn’t one of your strong points.

Being told by the service writer that the customer isn’t paying for that hour you just spent figuring out the problem, and they’re not going to have the work done after all, because, “A” – The customer said that you should have known what was wrong before you even started testing it, “B” – The customer is acting like a fifth grader.

Spending an hour and half busting off a rusted bolt for a job that only pays .5.

Listening to every walk of life explain to you the same type of problem on the same type of car, but in totally different ways, and still being able to sort through all these explanations and arrive at the correct solution to the same problem every time.

Spend $100,000.00 on personal tools and education to make less than that a year.

You’re a self-taught contortionist who can maneuver into places that seem humanly impossible.

You’ve been told that you don’t need an education to do this job, anybody can do it.

It’s not unusual on a busy day to have a lunch on the fly only to realize your sandwich has as many grease prints on it as your shop rag.

You can remember 12 digit part numbers, the oil filter size for an 85 Camaro, and the firing order on every V8 engine, but can’t remember your wife’s birthday.

You read car forums on the internet just to get a good laugh at the suggestions.

If you’ve ever been annoyed with the parts guy when he asks, “Is that a two or 4WD?” when all you wanted was wiper blades.

You know, from experience, that torqueing a greasy bolt with an open end wrench also means you should check the path of the wrench for any obstacles that may end up embedded in your hand.

When somebody says, “Sinchya got it in shop…” you break out in hives and your upper lip curls into an Elvis snarl.

The wife notices you still have grease on your elbows when you’re out to dinner after work. Then, she chides you for having them on the table.

You’ve ever had to order a part and the wiring diagram calls it by one name, the locator page calls it something else, the parts department calls it by another name, and still yet, the labor guide has a completely different name for the exact same part.

“Lefty-loosey-righty-tighty” does not apply to the side of a car with reverse lug nuts, and you know which vehicles those are.

You can’t have a meaningful conversation with anyone who simply calls themselves a mechanic and wants to talk about fixing cars, except for another true mechanic. Thankfully, your wife understands you even though she doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

You don’t think of repairs based on what it they cost, but on how much aggravation is in involved.

You can spot a professional mechanic from a “wanna-be” mechanic as soon as they tell you how they diagnosed the car they’re still having problems with.

You have a rather low opinion of anyone who calls themselves a mechanic if their entire education is based on watching You Tube videos from other non-professional type mechanics.

Not all the screwdrivers you own will fit into one drawer.

For you, an open hood is like a moth to a flame.

You know what cheap sockets are good for.

You know what a cheap socket looks like.

Borrowing tools is a sin; not returning borrowed tools is a crime.

You’ve pondered, which came first: the wrench or the screwdriver.

So, quit your grumbling, stop your fussing, and no more belly aching that you’re going to change professions or something. Just grab your tools and get back to work. Cause you are what you are, nothing more and nothing less. You’re a professional mechanic, something a lot of people don’t have the knack or natural talent to ever achieve in their lifetime. The skills of a professional technician aren’t in a tool box, or in some video, they’re in the hands of the person holding the wrench. Hold your head high and say it proudly when someone asks what you do. Tell em’… I know what I am, I’m a mechanic.

Save a dime, spend a dollar

There’s trend in “out of shop” repairs I’m seeing more and more of these days. It’s been going on since the very first cars hit the open road, but because of the technical advancements and procedural changes there seems to be a lot more cars that aren’t getting repaired properly than ever before. It seems to have more to do with cost than with a general lack of maintenance, and because of the technical and repair procedure changes fewer DIY’rs are adequately prepared to take on those repairs. So, to save their cash they opt for a side line repair rather than a professional shop. Of course, they might have saved a dime by going “rogue” on the repair, but there’s a good chance they’ll have to spend a dollar just to undo the damage done by these back alley repair hacks.

Take the guy who needed a heater core, but didn’t want to pay the professional shop that diagnosed the problem. What he wanted was a cheaper alternative. The next day while at work, he casually mentioned his predicament to a co-worker. The co-worker said he knew a guy who knew of a guy who has a friend of a friend that’s a really good mechanic and would even come to your house and fix it. So, the guy called this traveling tool box connoisseur and a deal was struck up that he would be over by the weekend to change it out, as long as he had the new part waiting for him.

About half way through the repair the “friend of a friend mechanic” found himself with connections and parts he had never seen before. He then tried to start the car only to find out it wouldn’t. Of course, the wiry mechanic friend had neither a clue, nor an educated guess as to what was wrong. All he had to his credit was a vague knowledge of how to remove a couple of bolts and screws and hopefully not to leave a pile of miscellaneous parts under the seat when he was finished.

Outmatched by the new technology and his lack of taking the trade of automotive repair serious enough to warrant any training or certifications, our weekend nut buster and his little cohort (aka “his tool box”) took off for parts unknown (pun intended), never to be seen or heard from again. Which left the owner of the vehicle high and dry with an even bigger problem than he originally had.

It never ceases to amaze me that even with various repair manuals, internet sources, and parts available at the corner parts store, somebody would be willing to tear into a car without a reasonable understanding of what lies behind the dash. That seems to be the perpetual gap between how a professional mechanic tackles repairs and how the “friend of a friend mechanic” does the same job.

There’s something to be said about being in the trade on a daily basis. Most pros will tell you that even a year away from the business can leave you far behind your competition. More often than not, the professional mechanic has to stay up with the ever changing industry, as well as adopting a few tricks of their own or at least finding easier methods than what the engineers originally anticipated. (No offense engineers.)

However, even then, those tricks and short cuts are often omitted in the corner parts store repair manual or YouTube video. Whether it’s due to space, or because some of those mechanic “tricks” aren’t approved by the manufacturer. The manual writers often have to stick with what is “engineeringly-correct” rather than what professional mechanics have found out in the trenches.

Let’s face it, years ago when most systems didn’t use miles of wire with interconnecting information and calibrated components, a good shade tree mechanic could get by without knowing the inner workings of the actual systems. All they needed to know was what part was bad and where it’s located. That’s not the case anymore.

There’s going to come a day when these backyard mechanics are going to reach a tipping point, and not following all the warnings and directions printed in the repair manual will to lead to a catastrophe. Even those repairs that seemed simple in the past will require extensive training to accomplish. With some of the latest systems in production now it’s safe to say we already have reached that tipping point. But, the dollar is still the deal breaker when it comes to professional automotive service. Then again, the typical person who decided to go the route of finding the cheapest ratchet slinger or rely on a friend of a friend carrying a rusty tool box to do their repairs may find themselves still standing in their driveway with a broken down car.

Sure, there’s still a lot of ways to save money on service repair costs just like you can with any type of service work, and not just the family car, either. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I willing to take the risk of a failed repair by not calling a professional, and do I understand that it will probably cost more for the professional to straighten out the mess from the last guy?” If not, you might be stuck on the side of the road like the guy with the heater core looking for another “friend of a friend”.

Save a dollar. That’s always smart thinking. Having diagnostics and service work done by some guy you met at the corner parts store who is moon lighting as a mechanic...? Hey, it’s your dime.

Ode to Santa and the Economy
There goes Santa, running for his sleigh;
He’s gotta run fast, to get away.

You see, the economy has struck the North Pole as well;
The elves are on strike, and his wife is givin' em' hell.

These days when Santa appears at the local department store;
It’s not just for fun or photos, but for gifts he needs to score.

He'll check the store layout and make a quick dash;
Why even Santa max'd out his credit card and is low on cash.

So off he goes, into the night;
To find those gifts, and get out of sight.

Now, he’s not going to make a whole lot of stops;
‘Cause look out Santa… here comes the cops.

Santa leaps to his sleigh and flys far into the night;
Carrying all those gifts, on his yearly flight.

Way into the morning, the police search high and low;
Only to find a few tracks left in the snow.

You'll hear all the alarms blaring, late into the night;
But old Saint Nick will be long gone, and clean out of sight.

Santa has to be quick, to have it done by Christmas Eve;
So many gifts, and so many places to be…

The presents will be wrapped, and the tags will be off;
Cause old Santa is very careful, not to get caught.

So check your presents, early on Christmas day;
(Keep it hush-hush if they're from Santa, OK...?)

Now, I don’t know if Old Saint Nick, stopped at your house or not;
But If he did … … … … …
.....THOSE GIFTS ARE . . . HOT ! !

Twelve Days Of Christmas
mechanic's style

On the 1st day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
A cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 2nd day Christmas a customer sent to me:
2 Latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 3rd day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
3 Wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 4th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
4 Wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 5th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
5 Piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 6th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
6 Brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 7th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
7 Dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my
grease gun.

On the 8th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
8 Engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 9th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
9 Coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 10th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
10 Headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 11th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
11 Gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

On the 12th day of Christmas a customer sent to me:
12 Trannys slipping, 11 gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun.

Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Twas the Night before Christmas
(Mechanic style)

Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the service bay,
Not an engine was stirring,
just old Santa’s sleigh.

All the air hoses were hung,
by the compressor with care,
The mechanics had the day off,
I’m the only one there.

I was just an apprentice, but wanted to show St. Nick just what I knew,
My boss was all for it, said it was OK if I turned a few screws.

With visions of being a full time mechanic, dancing in my head
I was going to give it my best shot; I’ll fix this old sled.

I gave the key a twist,and listened in dismay,
That little red hot rod needed service, in such a bad way

Then from under the hood there arose such a clatter,
That even St. Nick had to ask, “So, what’s the matter?”

I flew from the driver’s seat and raised the hood in a flash,
Nearly stumbling off my feet, from my quick little dash.

The under hood light, glimmered onto the engine below,
The fan belt had broken, and a spark plug blew out a hole.

It’s something I can handle; I learned this stuff in school,
I’ll have this fixed up in no time; it only takes a few tools,

I started it up and all eight cylinders were firing away
Just a few minor adjustments and he could be on his way

That’s when I noticed, his sled was packed full of all sorts of toys…
He hadn’t finished his deliveries, to all the girls… and boys.

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot

Anxious he was, to finish his trip as soon as he could,
With my wrenches a flyin’, he knew that he would.

It was up to me, to get it fixed this very night,
He still had a long way to go, before it was daylight.

His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
I knew it was Christmas Eve, so I couldn’t say no,

He had a broad face and a round little belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

His sled was like new, after the job was all done,
Now that it’s fixed, he could get back to his run.

He reached into his huge bag, and pulled a box out with a jerk,
Said he knew just how to thank me, for all of my hard work,

I ripped open the present, and Oh, what a sight!
Snap On wrenches and sockets! Boy was he right!

As he pulled from the parking lot, he held the throttle to the floor,
Just to show off, he passed by the shop, once more,

This guy Santa, he’s a little strange, at any rate,
He had a name for every cylinder, in his little V8.

I could hear him shout, so loud and clear,
Naming off each cylinder, as if they could hear.

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!

I heard the tires screech, as he caught second gear,
Off to deliver those presents, some far, some near.

Then, I heard him exclaim, just before he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Electronically Handicapped

Are we so inundated with electrical devices we’ve forgotten how to do certain tasks without them? I believe the time has come when common sense values and electronics have crossed paths to change the way some people assume things are done. Yes, we’ve become electronically handicapped by the very means that are supposed to make things better.

Expecting those electronic wonders to always be in working order is one thing, but not knowing what to do when those devices fail and having to resort to good old fashion “hands on” is where the problems and frustrations begin.

Case in point: a guy calls and asks if I can fix his speedometer. He explains he wouldn’t be able to drive the car to the shop, because he has no idea how fast he’s going. I suggested he just stay up with traffic or download one of the many apps displaying mph. This led to even more hysteria because he was afraid of an electronic bug affecting his phone. Instead, all he wanted was one of those “I ain’t holding ya to it” estimates. Not knowing the reason why his speedometer wasn’t working, I gave him a rough guess on the cost of the various components related to a speedometer problem.

He then tells me, “Let me know when the part shows up.” I asked, “What part?” Now I’m confused. Finally, it came down to one question. “Sir, even if I knew exactly what component or problem you’re having, how are you going to get the car here? Tow truck, or do you want me to come and get it?” I asked. Absolutely no tow trucks, and he didn’t want anyone else to drive his car. Instead, he was going to check “YouTube” for a video on how to fix it.

At the top of the list of people who have become electronically handicapped would be this lady: She called to tell me her door locks stopped working, and how she was trapped in her car for several hours until her husband showed up. (He unlocked the door with the key from the outside.) I asked her, “Why didn’t you just unlock the door from the inside?” Her answer, “Sir, I pushed the button several times but it never would unlock the door.” I calmly asked (although I was secretly bursting with laughter), “Why didn’t you use the mechanical lock knob or push the manual lock lever in the opposite direction?”

The tone of her voice was enough to tell you she was more than a little shaken up over the whole door lock ordeal. Thinking I could ease her obvious tension, I suggested that she could have rolled the window down, but that just spurred her anxiety even more. She couldn’t understand why I would suggest such a thing; she would have had to start the car in order to do that. Since the windows were up, the fear of carbon monoxide poisoning was an even bigger concern.

Pretty soon, there will be a generation that won’t understand or even care to know anything about some of the old technologies. That is until they’re face-to-face with a situation calling for some nostalgic common sense and mechanical know-how. We’ve modernized the family car into a nightmarish electronic wonder, which has caused a lot of people to lose touch with the basic fundamentals of its operation. Not only is it more complicated electronically, but it’s also becoming more reliant on GPS and computers. Take for instance the autonomous car or the lane check systems.

Here’s something else that I don’t understand: We still call a manual shift transmission a standard transmission. There’s nothing “standard” about it anymore. It was the standard for decades, but not anymore. Now it’s rather rare for new drivers to even know how to operate a stick shift.

We’ve all become so complacent with our modern electronic conveniences that opening a garage door by hand seems barbaric in some way. I know I’m guilty of it myself.

One time after a rather long and frustrating day at the shop, I came down my driveway tapping my finger on the garage door remote button. The door refused to move. Not to be outwitted by a garage door remote, I sat out there bashing the button and cussing at the door… determined to get that blasted thing to raise one more time. Eventually, the wife comes out and opens the door from the inside button, standing there with that typical wife look of disbelief, staring at her goof ball husband having a heart-to-heart talk with a dead garage door remote. Her response was priceless, “The battery is probably dead in the remote dummy! Just get out of the truck and open the door!”

Even now, you see people who don’t have a clue how to use their turn signals. I doubt they know the proper hand signals. Of course, that would mean rolling down the electric window, which probably doesn't work either. What about the tire monitor systems on cars these days? How many people know how to properly use a tire pressure gauge? Then again, why? We’ve got electronics to take care of that stuff.

A vehicle operator seems to require less common sense these days as the electronic world has already accomplished these tasks with minimal to no effort with things like voice activated entertainment to navigation controls. Why, we even have crash avoidance systems and air bags to keep us safe. More to the point… less personal responsibility for your actions; make it the car’s responsibility.

I grew up in the time when road maps were in every glove box. Folding one back up from the passenger seat while giving directions could be a contest of wit and skill to say the least. You paid attention to the road signs and observed the different land features as well as points of interest that were pointed out in the map details. These days, you listen to this voice on the navigation system that says, “Turn right in 500 feet onto exit 227.” Why, I’ll bet you didn’t even notice you passed the world’s largest ball of string a mile back. It seems the navigation voice failed to mention anything about all those roadside features the folding map could tell you about. Just goes to show how much we have become dependent on these electronic devices.

So, you say, “Yea well, I might be a little electronically handicapped, but I’m not as bad as ya think. I could handle living like they did a hundred years ago. No battery needed to start a horse.” Oh, really? A century ago anyone over 10 years old could hitch up a two horse team to a buggy for an afternoon trip to town and knew how to deal with their horses’ temperament. Can you? Back then, that knowledge was passed down from father to son. These days, well, you’re more likely to Google the answer than ask Grandpa.

Old Sarge
I met this great man through his son, who happened to be the driver of that Chevy van from the furniture store that was my very first customer. Sarge isn’t his real name, but that’s what I called him. He was a retired Marine Corps cook. I met him one day when he came in with a sick Cadillac.

The old Cadillac hardly had any power at all; just as slow and lazy as a snail. I was only in business for a few months,
and didn’t know anybody. I didn’t have any work to speak of, so even though it wasn’t an electrical problem
(as he originally thought), I jumped right in and found the problem. It was a clogged catalytic converter. Unbelievably,
it wasn’t even welded in place. I could take off the clamps, and remove it without much hassle.

Back then I didn’t have a lift to put the car in the air, so I had to do the whole job on the ground. Well, old Sarge just sat there and watched me do the whole thing. I think he was a little suspicious of this skinny little white kid who was hacking away at his car, but he patiently waited, being the good man he was. We got to talking about things, and it wasn’t long before he found out that I was also in Marine Corps. Now we had some common ground. We were buds for life, always cutting up with each other.

One hot August afternoon Sarge brought in one of his other cars to get some work done. I had the back door to the shop open, and Sarge steps outside for a little fresh air. I thought I could hear the guy crying or mumbling something, couldn’t tell which it was. I stuck my head around the corner, “Sarge, ah …. you ok, buddy?” I asked.

He proceeded to tell me how the house he grew up in was close by, before it became a shopping center. He talked about his dad and family, and how he hunted rabbits right where we were standing. It was during the Depression. Hard times, and things were scarce in those days. How his dad hid a pig in a pit, not too far from here. Where they kept the corn mash for making moon shine. I sat and listened to this hardened Marine tell me his life’s story that day, from his first car to how he ended up in the Corps. I didn’t answer the phone, or go up front to see if anyone came in. I just sat out there in that August heat, drenched in sweat, listening to this fella tell me his life story.

I’ll never forget that afternoon. I’ll also never forget how every time he came to my shop over the next 25 years he would sneak up on me, and yell in a drill instructor voice, “TEN HUT!” I would snap to attention just like a good Marine should. Sometimes, just to get a rise out of Sarge I would purposely hit my head on the hood of the car I was working on. He got a kick out of it every time.

Sarge passed away a couple years back. I still think about him now and then. I hope he’s up there hunting rabbits, or something. Maybe he’s guarding the gates like every Marine hopes to be doing when their time comes. Or, he could be just waiting there to try and surprise me with one more “TEN HUT” when I show up.

Sarge, I miss having you around the shop.

Semper fi my old friend... Semper fi

Greener Grass

You’re washing up after a long, hard day. Your shirt tail hasn’t stayed tucked in since lunch time, and everywhere you look there are more oil stains and dirt on your clothes from working on that last engine. Then the service manager shows up wanting to know why that last job isn’t finished, and asks if you can stick around a few more hours to get it done. You’re about to blow a gasket, but you keep your cool, and call home to tell them you’ll be late again.

Between the car problems, that lousy air hose fitting that blew apart, and that last repair order you got that listed the customer’s complaint as: “Car don’t go.” You’ve had enough. You slam the screwdriver drawer shut as you say to yourself, “I’m going to quit. I’ll find another way to pay my bills. I can’t take this anymore.” Even the guys and gals coming out of technical schools wonder if this was the right choice. Most of them have the same worries: “Can I find a job? Will it pay enough?” Everyone wants to get out there and do what they were trained to do, and the road from just being a lube tech seems so long and narrow that the thought of changing careers creeps into the conversation.

I’m sure at one time or another we’ve all thought about trading in the toolbox for a cubical office job. There’s such an investment in training and tools that you have to wonder. “Is it all worth it? Is there anything else I could do? Is there greener grass somewhere else?” If you listen to some of these motivational speakers they’ll tell you, “Don’t follow your passion - follow the money. Your passion may be the thing you love to do, but money makes the world go around. Life’s too short to train and become an expert, go where the money goes, do what pays the best!”

Then the question is asked, “Is there any money to be made in this trade, or am I just fooling myself? Should I start thinking about a different line of work?” Anybody who’s been around a while will tell you the real money in this business is for those who have the knack and the temperament to deal with the ups and downs. If you’re the type of person who finds mechanical things fascinating, or an automotive related TV show entertaining, or an old restored ride rumbling down the road makes you strain your neck for a better view…well then, you’ve got a passion for things mechanical.

I’ve known a lot of guys who left the trade for one reason or another and then eventually came back to it. Now why is that? Why would you hang up your wrenches, and then decide to come back to it later on? I thought the pay was terrible, the working conditions were too rough, and the training was too much? It’s probably the same reason why you’re reading this. It’s in your blood. Cars, boats, trains, heavy equipment, etc… those mechanical wonders that make the industrialized world move progressively forward into the future are part of your make up. Ya can’t change who you really are. Money may change how you’re involved with all things mechanical, but I’ll guarantee you’ll still find room for them.

If you check the average income for technicians across the country the figures are simply appalling. Who in their right mind would invest thousands and thousands of dollars into personal equipment to repair something that needs such a highly skilled person to properly repair them? Only to be put at the bottom of the list of important contributors that keeps this society on the road? Yep, the mechanic knows that scenario all to well.

I tried to figure out how they arrived at these income figures. From what I could find out the national average is based on every facet of the automotive world. From the lube tech, tire shops, muffler shops, brake specialty shops, and various dealership/independent shops. I find their results rather misleading.

If they did the same analysis on the average salary of a chef they’d find the same huge differences between them as well. Just as it is in the automotive field there are different levels of compensation. The person who preps things in the kitchen is just as much a chef as the person whose name is on the door. So why are there so many variations in income levels?

Its training and your expertise that makes the difference, you’ve already got the passion for it. Gee, the three things some of those so called expert motivational speakers tell you to ignore. So if the main reason you’ve thought of changing professions is based on an average salary…think again… your passion may win out in the long run. Now all you need is that training and expertise.

This trade is like any other trade… with one exception. Not all you know today is going to help repair the cars of the next generation. You have to constantly learn something new. Training is what is going to make the difference; it’s a never ending pursuit of knowledge on new technology, procedures, and tools.

Just remember that passion that got you started. It’s still there. Learn as much as you can about your trade, learn it well, and be the best that you can be, that greener grass may be a lot closer than you think.