Where’s my 10mm Socket

         Deep or shallow, impact or chrome, 12 point or six point, ¼” or ½” drive, it really doesn’t matter, those 10 mm sockets have the ability to grow legs. Out of all the hundreds of sockets in the drawer, only the 10mm seems to be the one that disappears without a trace. Sure, it’s used a lot, and yes, it does seem to be on every car and in every form and fashion you can think of, but why is this most useful socket also the one with the escape artistry of Steve McQueen in the movie “The Great Escape”?

         They can vanish without a trace, leave without warning, or fall into an engine bay never to see the light of day again. One time I actually caught a glimpse of one on a mad dash for freedom.  I was working under a car installing a few brackets with my trusty (trustee) 10mm socket attached to my ¼” air ratchet when the socket spun off the ratchet.  It traveled along the top edge of the crossmember spinning like mad when it came upon a small hole in the center.  It hopped straight up, still spinning, did a perfect pirouette and slipped right down the hole.  It was like watching a cartoon character sticking their head out of the hole just long enough to say, “See ya!” and disappear out of sight.  I never managed to fish the socket out of there, either.  The hole was too small for anything but the socket and the ends of the crossmember were welded shut.  That one got away, but I saw the whole thing myself.  They really do try to escape.

         It’s like spotting Big Foot.  I mean, who would believe ya when you tell them you just saw your 10mm socket make a break for it and escape down some rabbit hole in a crossmember? Ya might as well call one of those tabloid magazines and tell them.  At least they might believe your story.  I think the tabloids would put it all down as some sort of conspiracy anyway. It’s the only way to explain it. When I lose a socket the tool truck always has a replacement.  For all I know, those fiendish little sockets are sneaking back on the truck, while I’m purchasing one of their buddies.  Maybe they’re all out to prove something, or they’re all working with the tool trucks for a cut in the profits. 

We should start a 10 mm support group for all those socket sets and mechanics who are missing one. I can just hear it now. “I’m here to tell my story about my 10 mm socket.  We were good friends, we did a lot together, but now he’s gone and I’m all alone.” The group could all get a T shirt that says, “I lost my 10mm socket.  Can you help me?”, but knowing my luck, I’d probably lose the shir, too.

Maybe I’ll just paint them all bright yellow, or buy them in bulk and keep so many around that I can’t possibly ever not have one handy. But, knowing those 10mm sockets the way I do, I’d bet they’d find a way to have a mass escape when I’m not looking. The next thing ya know, I’ll start a chain gang of 10mm escapees and have them all work on the worst slimy, greasy, dirty, nastiest part of the car I can find.

         Here’s the thing I don’t understand.  Why doesn’t the 7 and 8mm socket make a break for it? They’re out and about just as much as the 10?  As a matter of fact, why not use the 9mm socket or the 11mm a bit more often and give that 10mm guy a bit of break.  Maybe then the 10mm won’t feel so over worked and have the tendency to walk off the job.

         Way back when everything was SAE instead of metric,  I don’t recall having to put posters on the neighborhood telephone poles, “Have you seen this ¼” socket?” Most of the time it was right where I left it, and eventually I would wear it out to the point it couldn’t grip a bolt or nut anymore. But would I replace it? No, of course not.  I’d put it back in the rack with all of the other sockets, only to remember how worn out it was the next time I needed it. But, that 10 mm, haven’t worn one out yet, because that guy will use any excuse to leave before it gets that old.   

I’m not saying all the other metric wrenches and sockets are exempt from trying to flee the tool box.  Heck no.  I’m pretty sure I stumbled onto one of their mass escape plans before.  I came into work one day and somebody had moved my tool box.  When I opened the drawer all the sockets were haphazardly scattered everywhere you looked. I’ll bet that 10mm socket dude got the other sockets all riled up and would have made good on their escape if it wasn’t for the tool box being locked.

 Then, there are those two sockets that rest on either side of the 10mm. They don’t seem to do much, they hardly get out of the drawer, and apparently don't take after that 10mm guy at all. You know these two, they're the 9 and 11mm sockets. Every now and then you'll find that one or two odd ball nuts or bolts that are specifically made for a 9 or 11mm socket. They seem to be content living in the tool box with this empty gap between them and they never seem to get lost or go AWOL. In fact, I somehow have a large collection of 9 and 11mm sockets that I don’t even remember buying. But that 10mm socket, that guy hardly ever ends up back in the box and is a bad influence on the rest of them. It’s out all night, can’t find its way home, rolls up under a cabinet and hides, or its favorite trick, finds the one spot in the very center underneath the car that you can’t possibly reach. It's also been known to take the suicide approach of avoiding going back in the tool box. It will take a dive off the edge of a fender and fall into a narrow crevice from which you’ll never retrieve it again. 

I’m starting to believe those 10mm sockets got it in for us mechanics. They’ll hide in plain sight or sit there shining up at us from some unreachable spot in the corner of the engine bay. I’m pretty sure I saw one scoot across the floor and under a bench once.  Never did find him again, either.  Maybe we should get Sherlock Holmes on the case.  Maybe he could find the whereabouts of these elusive 10 mm runaway sockets.

In the mean time I’ve got another problem to take care of.  My new pocket screwdriver I just got off the tool truck has disappeared.  Seems it’s been hanging around those 10mm sockets way too long, and has gotten ambitious about going over the wall on its own.  Or maybe he’s stuck on the edge of the driver’s door again, but that’s another story entirely.

Diversity in Mechanics

The days when nearly every driver was aware of what was going on under the hood of their car has faded into the history books. Not only has the driver lost touch with the inner workings of their automobile, the car itself has become more “user-friendly”. There’s no hand crank to twist, no choke lever to pull out, no manual brakes, and anymore, hardly no one rolls a window down by hand or uses a clutch to shift the transmission.

  Less and less effort is required by the driver to operate the vehicle.  What was once a series of steps you hand to accomplish to start a car has now become automated to the point all you have to do is push a button and the car starts.  Gone are the cold morning starts where you had to pump the gas pedal, crank the engine, then listen to the motor to see if the fast idle had set or not. But, you always had to be careful that you didn’t flood the cold engine, and if you did… that brought on a whole other set of tasks the driver had to accomplish correctly.

It’s not just starting the vehicle that needs less driver influence, even parallel parking has become a hands free procedure. Now, with all the cameras and radar systems attached to the car there’s hardly anything to do except be a passenger.  Even then, you’re basked in a climate controlled cocoon with atmospheric controls such as lighting, massage chairs, heated seats, and soothing background music all the while computers and sensors are controlling every movement. 

         Growing up around car repair shops might have made a difference as to how I look at these complicated thing-a-ma-jigs they refer to as the modern car. They’re not just a ‘car’ anymore.  In my youth it was nothing to see a gang of dads leaning over a hood when something went wrong.  Today, there’s not a whole lot to see.  It’s all plastic covers with various caps and knobs for adding fluids and if you’re lucky there might even still be a dipstick under there too.

         Diagnosing and repairing the modern car isn’t quite the same as it was back in the day all the dad’s would gather around the fenders.  Even though the operation of the vehicle has been somewhat automated the repair side of things has gone other way.  Parts swapping, guess until ya get it, and the old ask your uncle Bob what’s wrong with your car is as out of date as the crank start.  But, I still find it rather amazing how the engineers and designers managed to “dummy-down” all the possible problems that possibly could happen to a little check engine light on the dash.  Can you imagine what it would be like if they didn’t?

Service lights, warning indicators, and digital messages inform the driver of the severity or condition of the vehicle.  Although, most of the information that appears on the digital screen is more of a generic message or sometimes even displayed as a short message telling the driver of the condition of the vehicle without actually telling them precisely what’s wrong.  Even if it did, who would understand it?  Surely not the driver (in most cases), that’s left up to the service technician. 

You know ‘that’ guy.  The one that overcharges you for those repairs you don’t understand or even care to know because you’re far above the educational requirements of a certified mechanic. Of course, anyone who’s been around the business for any length of time will tell you that the days of the grease jockey recharging your air conditioner by slappin’ a can of Freon in your car so you can whiz off to work are about as far gone as 2 ply tires. That’s where diversity between mechanics and the technical advances start to show through.

         The technical training for a good mechanic with advanced skill levels can exceed the requirements of most 4 year college degrees. The big difference between the academic degree and the technical school degree is still greatly debated. To me, the requirements of the educational programs differ only in the fact that in an academic setting you’re required a certain level of English, math, and the other various ‘general’ skills for graduation. The trade schools generally don’t have those academic requirements for graduation. The big problem is the non-car aficionados (general public) don’t want to admit that the family car requires a college degree to keep them in tip top shape.  So why would the guy changing the oil need to have a degree?  

         There’s a very good possibility that a shortage of technicians qualified to work on the modern car is drastically going to increase in the next decade or so.  Of course, ask anyone in the business now and they’ll tell you the average age of the professional mechanic has slowly been increasing to well over 50 years of age.  That might have a lot do with the startup requirements put on the new technicians coming into the field.  To many times a young mechanic gets into the business with those wild eyed ideas that they can fix anything that rolls into their service bay, only to find out their skills sets lack a lot of the required knowledge in understanding the complexities of the modern types of problems their facing. 

         That brings us back to that college grad again.  They’ve spent a ton of money on their education, and some may never pay those loans off for years, if not decades.  Technical college fees remain low in comparison, and with luck, the average educated technician will have their tuition fees taken care long before the college grad has theirs paid off.  Here’s something else to think about, while a lot of college grads take on temporary jobs like a waiter while their waiting for their big break into that six figure job they’ve been trained for, most grads of the tech schools are out working in the very field they’ve been trained for.  They might be the college grad on the lube rack, but he’s there, in his field of choice getting his hands dirty and working towards his ultimate goals. Chances are, the mechanic will be at that very restaurant having lunch while wearing their rental uniform covered in the days grease and grime and the waiter…. well, they’re still working for tips. 

         The real issue for the mechanic’s world is the acceptance of the educational level required and the respect that the mechanic deserves as well as being compensated for said education and skills needed.  I do believe, in time, the shortage of trained-qualified technicians will turn into an increase in wages across the board. Which is just what the industry needs to draw in those new faces to the service bays.  All this can start back in high school.  Somebody needs to tell the school guidance counselors that being an automotive mechanic is a trade with high expectations and compensation, not a last resort job for those undesirable individuals that didn’t pass their SAT’s. 

Where’s That Machine?

         Even in this age of electronic gadgets, voice recognition systems, and cell phones, there are still a few things that require the dexterity of a human being. For some skilled and unskilled jobs the physical work or mental intuitiveness hasn’t been entirely replaced by machines, microprocessors and LED’s, just yet. Automotive diagnostics and repair is one of those fields. The modern mechanic is still very much a part of the repair equation. But, go to any repair shop in this country, and you’ll probably hear somebody at the service counter ask the service writer, “You guys do have one of those machines that tells you what’s wrong, don’t ya?”

         Yeah, we have one of those machines. It’s that guy in the service bay leaning over your car right now.  You know, the mechanic. Oh, you know who they are. They’re usually the guy you spot in the elevator or at the supermarket who has more than a few grease spots on his clothes, scuffed up shoes, a pocket screwdriver, rough calloused hands, and wearing a shirt with his own name on it. He’s generally not a college graduate, probably doesn’t know the difference between Harvard and Yale, and probably doesn’t care either, but intelligent just the same. Yes, a machine all right. A walking, talking, hardworking, diagnostic and mechanically inclined individual who uses tools and equipment to solve your car problems.  

         Look how the tools of the modern mechanic have changed over the years, such as scanners and meters. They are an aide, a machine, a tool if you will, but they don’t give out answers. Although, these tools can do so much in the way of diagnosing a problem in the hands of an expert mechanic. They show the technician a code or information in regards to the internal aspects of the vehicle. Code numbers and definitions are a strategic direction for the repair. This allows a trained technician to know which pathway to take in making the repair. To put it in other words: the real machine that finds out what’s wrong with your car is those two hands and brain of the very guy with his name imprinted on his shirt. Not some box of transistors and relays, but people still ask about and believe there is this magical mystery machine that does all the work.

         The automotive field isn’t what those reality TV shows portray it to be, either.  Most of these shows highlight the automotive industry as a place for stupid, filthy, disorganized-knuckle dragging fools who can’t read or write, and wouldn't know a dentist office if they stumbled in one. It’s just one more reason why it’s so hard to find sharp, young talent to take up the trade.

Car technology changes so fast these knuckle draggers can’t keep up with the true professional mechanic field and what goes on in a real repair facility, but for some reason somebody at these networks think reality shows of guys taking old non-computerized cars apart is what we want to watch on television. I for one would rather watch something useful like reflashing a GM than what it takes to weld in a new quarter panel. You want to get the next generation interested in the field…show em’ something of interest in the way of a modern computer driven vehicle.

The vast number of computer systems, hydraulics, electrical, radar/navigation systems and mechanical aspects of the modern car are constantly changing. This means continual education is a must for the professional mechanic. A modern mechanic is more like a surgeon than a brick layer is to one.  Even though both are considered laborer trades, one is more artistic in nature while the other is more technology driven.

For some people, the mere thought that somebody out there knows more about their car than they do is quite disturbing to them.  They seem to think they are far more intelligent than the engineers, designers, and the mechanics combined. In their interpretation of the automotive repair world, the mechanic has to be an idiot to even think they can make a living fixing this stuff when it’s just as easy to fix it yourself at home in the garage. I’ve been told more than once by an irate customer that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to fix a car, so it shouldn’t cost that much.

So, why would these types of people even want to talk with this guy who has his name tattooed on his shirt? Why not bypass him altogether and go right to the mechanized technical wonder they can’t seem to find at the local part store.  You know, that machine.  That thing-a-mabob that tells those dimwitted Neanderthal mechanics what part to change and how to make their car all better.

As far as they are concerned, diagnostics are not needed, because following a path laid out in a diagnostic chart isn’t a skill that’s required when making a repair.  Just read the results on the scanner, order the part, stick it on, and then get back to their own lives with as little interruption as possible. All they want to pay for is what they consider the main reason for going to the mechanic in the first place.  You know, let them get greasy, change some widget and make their car run like new without costing them a fortune, and if it doesn’t… blame the mechanic, and not that dime store diagnostic machine they relied on.

Where the idea of a machine that can answer every type of automotive problem by simply plugging it into the car is beyond me. I suppose, some of it comes from growing up with the TV and watching sci-fi shows, but reality doesn’t come across as real with a portion of the driving public. They’re still stuck with the notion that Mr. Spock will break out his Tri-corder and inform them about the composition of material making up their engine block, and the exact cause of their engine misfire. Seriously people, get a grip on reality. The idea that this perfect machine actually exists is simply absurd, but the mystery of it all still lingers in the minds of those tried and true believers of all this technical wizardry of which they don’t understand. In their minds that “machine” is real, and any mechanic that doesn’t know about one is a fool.

In the near future, even this mythical, magical machine may actually be more fiction than myth.  Telematics and remote diagnostics may make the vision of a “one machine can fix-all” far more real than we can imagine.  Not that I believe there really will be a “fix-all” machine capable of re-gapping a worn out spark plug, but I do believe a lot of systems will be diagnosed, and possibly electronically repaired by remote intervention.  Although, those tough diagnostics that can’t be sorted out will still require the skill of a good diagnostic mechanic to accomplish them.

Maintenance and wearable item repairs will most likely be the commonplace activities at a repair shop in the future.  Needless to say, the days of a home mechanic with a set of tools picked up at a garage sale may soon be a thing of the past or left up to the hobbyist working on antique vehicles.  The modern technically advanced vehicle of the future may become too far advanced for anyone except for the skilled mechanic. 

We may be in a technically advanced computer age, and there’s no doubt there are further advancements to be made, but the trained mechanic is still a big part of the future. So, the next time someone asks, “Where’s that machine?” tell them it’s where it’s always been, in the service bay, and you’ve been talking to it all this time… your mechanic.  

Car and Driver

         The technical changes most everyone is familiar with have more to do with emissions or performance issues. But, let’s step back a bit and look at the whole thing from the occupant’s vantage point. You know, what changes has the driver had to endure?

         When the horse and buggy were still rulers of the open road, cars were just a tinkerers dream.  Actually those open roads were more like uneven ditches with wagon wheel ruts, but a road none the less. The first cars had to adapt to those rutted roads and of course, and the driver had take his fair share of bumps and bruises just to prove his new horseless carriage was up to the task.

It wasn’t long before a confrontation between the staunch horse and buggy drivers and the scarf wearing, goggle protected new-fangled automobile occupants came to a cross road.  Laws were enacted that a man had to walk at least 50 paces in front of the car holding a raised red flag to warn fellow travelers (mainly the horses) to be aware of this metal contraption belching noxious fumes while sputtering along at the amazing speed of 7 mph. Later, it was the horse and buggies turn to have a red flag warning assistant in front of them as the roles of were reversed. Before long, a horn was mounted to the side of the car creating this obnoxious sound that not only scared the remaining horses but annoyed every passerby as well.

         The model T has always been considered the father of the new age of automobiles. But, there were a lot of improvements other than the assembly line that came along around the same time period.  Later, enclosed cabs were added into the latest designs with retractable windows and a hard top.  Heating systems were incorporated along with other creature comforts.  All of these changes made the ride that much more enjoyable, and of course, sold a lot more cars.

         Eventually the pedals of the model T were replaced with the standard three pedal design, which made operating the car a bit more “driver-friendly”. Changing gears was made easier with a shift lever instead mashing down the pedal for low and up for high as in the model T.  Cold starting a car was still an issue, but instead of getting out of the car and raising the hood, a lever on the dash could be pulled out for cold starts and in when the engine warmed up. The electric “automatic” choke followed years later which meant one less chore the driver had to accomplish.

                  Hand starting your car was the norm.  Even with careful instructions there was still the potential of a few wrench elbows and a couple of broken bones from simply trying to get the car started for that weekend jaunt around the country side. An electric starter was the answer. Now all the driver had to do was mash a pedal on the floor to accomplish the same task. 

         When the automatic transmission made its debut a person’s strength or ability to shift correctly wasn’t important in operating a vehicle. The car was becoming even more user friendly.  The huge steering wheels could now be replaced with a much smaller version incorporated with power steering. Brakes, wipers, suspension, steering, lighting, heating, and air conditioning improvements meant less effort and far less exertion on the driver’s part to control the vehicle while being enclosed in their very own micro climate controlled environment. The car was becoming what some said in the 50’s as ‘futuristic’. True, yes… but Oh, if they only knew what was coming off those assembly lines just a few decades later. 

         Thoughts changed to emission controls and safety issues during the 60’s and 70’s.  Speed limits, bumper heights, seat belts, safety glass, were required from all the manufacturers.  Those creature comforts were not forgotten about either.  Smoother rides, better tires, and lush interiors were on the minds of every manufacturer.  But, it was only the beginning of things to come.

         We’ve zoomed through the jet set age, moon landings, and the smog, to come face to face with the electronic age or what some would call the computer age.  Cars aren’t wired together with bulky switches, relays, and mechanical linkages anymore, most everything is data signals, sensors and plastic.  Not only is the modern car a rolling computer controlling all aspects of the emissions and passenger comfort it is also can be seen, controlled, and monitored by outside sources. 

Let’s face it, the days of you holding your hand out of the window to signal or move that seldom used device on the side of the steering column to tell other drivers of your intentions of a right turn may be entirely left up to a computer and not yourself. The car will soon talk to the other cars on the road and they’ll all know what your destination is, and the route you’re taking.  All you need to do is tell the car to ‘Go’.  

         In the near future, the only requirement to “drive” a car is to be able to push ‘enter’.  Traffic lights, R&R crossings, and highway congestion can all be controlled by a system of checks and balances.  You won’t need to know how to shift the transmission, how to use a road map, decide which wiper speed to use, signal for a turn, judge when the high beams need to be dimmed, or control your traveling speed. 

You won’t have to do a thing except to be patient and wait in the comfort of your car while you arrive at your destination safe and sound. When that day comes, you won’t need a steering wheel, pedals, or even a horn. Today’s standard safety features such as air bags, have saved countless lives, but it’s possible that a new and far more advanced crash avoidance system may even make the air bag system as obsolete as the guy with the red flag.

Multiple position seating with heat, massage, and air conditioning, automatic tinted windows, premium sound systems, navigation, active cruise control, parking assist, touch screen commands, voice recognition, and an endless variety of other creature comforts are available. Honestly, some of these creature comforts are far better than what I have at home!  But, it’s our car, our transportation, something we spend several hours in and of course, we want it to be just the way we like it.

         It’s no wonder you hear that today’s generation can’t drive a stick shift, or how they’ve never heard of “three on the tree”, let alone understand the three pedals on a model T.  Those technologies are from a different time, a different era, and are not part of the modern world. In fact, most new cars don’t even have a shifter of any sort. Everything is done by the push of a button.  Talk about occupant evolution!  What do you think the next generation of drivers are ‘not’ going to need to know that you need to know today?

 It’s very possible that an ignition key will only be found in a museum, and I’ll bet they probably won’t understand what a door key was used for. Soon, those automatous cars won’t be something we’ve heard about, but will be the average-everyday car on the road.  Now, the only reason to have a guy holding a red flag is to keep the crowd back from the cars on display at the weekend car show.

         But, through all the evolutionary changes for the car and driver, one thing has remained a constant.  The seldom appreciated, hardly thanked, and least likely to be respected by the hustling-bustling-fast paced money-chasing drivers of these new-fangled contraptions… the person we couldn’t do without… the mechanic. As long as they make some form of transportation, and continually make it more complicated the more we need the educated and highly skilled technician to keep things in tip top shape. 

         Today’s average driver knows far less about their cars than the previous generation.  Although the mechanic needs to know quite a bit more than their predecessors. Before a driver was responsible for nearly every function of the car, but those functions have been passed onto computer signals. The responsibility of keeping those computer signals flowing has fallen onto the mechanic. So, if you like all of your cars bells and whistles, thank a design engineer.  If you’d like to keep all those bells and whistles working…thank a mechanic. 

There may not be a ‘driver’ for every car in the future, unfortunately, they’ve been evolved out of the picture.  But, you can be sure one thing… there will still be a need for a mechanic.

One Penny at a Time

         One year I thought I’d try something to drum up some new business.  I’ll try a cash discount for large jobs.  Maybe this will bring in those new customers. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but as they say, “The best laid plans of mice and men….” certainly got involved on this little adventure.

         The cash discount was going to run for a month, just to see if it was going to work.  All expectations looked promising. Jobs from a few weeks earlier had been contacted and informed of the new promotion to see if they’d like to reschedule that big job they were putting off.  Almost all of them set an appointment before the promotion deadline. Soon, the shop was bustling with new activity and jobs were getting stacked up waiting for an open service bay. Unfortunately, as usual, there’s always one sourpuss who has to ruin all the fun for everyone else.

         Mr. Gripey came to the shop for an engine swap.  He was your typical bargain hunter/never going to be a regular/always had a complaint type customer. As he put it, “I’m going to be your number 1 customer, if you can get me done on time.”  I assured Mr. Gripey that everyone is our number 1 customer here and we would do everything we could to get him done, within reason, in a timely manner.

         It was just another Ford Ranger V6 engine swap.  Nothing different from any other V6 Ranger we’ve done. That is except for Mr. Gripey, of course.  His periodic snooping and interrogating questioning of the mechanic (and his mentor) about the job was relentless.  It never fails, you get a snoopy-arrogant person barging in on the work the outcome is the same. It spells d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r every time something like this happens.  I was prepared for the inevitable and personally took on the job of double checking every part, every fastener, and every existing blemish on the vehicle just to be sure there was nothing Mr. Gripey could question once the job was completed.

         The engine slipped back in place without a hitch, and every nut and bolt was torqued down to specs.  Everything was going as planned, except for one small detail.  The promised date of delivery.  Because of the work load and the arrival of the replacement engine, we missed his scheduled time of departure from the service bay by one whole day.  This was all the fodder Mr. Gripey needed to begin his wrath of expletives and insults as to how awful we’ve made the entire experience.  Was I surprised? No, not at all. Now he wanted an even bigger discount than what the promotion had offered.  I offered my condolences and gave a bit more off the top of the cost of the job. That wasn’t good enough.  He wanted it for free now.  Of course, that’s not going to happen.  Now, he has decided to refuse to pay for the job.

         Several days passed between unanswered phone calls and messages left for Mr. Gripey to return for his vehicle.  The daily reconnoitering of the service bay when his truck was being serviced came to an end too. The mechanic and his apprentice mentor were relieved to move onto the next project.  Me, I was still stuck with the task of collecting the balance on the job. Which, is usually a rather pleasant experience filled with smiles and thank yous followed by a check, credit card, or cash.  But, not this time.

                 A week has gone by and Mr. Gripey hasn’t made an entrance yet.  Time for one more phone call, but this time with a little added incentive.  Mr. Gripey is going to be informed about storage charges for keeping his little pickup behind locked doors and that the charges would keep adding up until he showed up.  He was given a grace period until the end of the week, and if we didn’t hear from him by then… the storage charges would start from the day of this phone call.  

         It’s no surprise, Mr. Gripey managed to show up at the shop that very afternoon. “I’m here to pay my bill and get my truck out of your $&^#*!!! shop,” he said, in a very disgruntled manner.  I gave him the total and said, “That’ll be cash, sir.”  I wasn’t about to give this guy a chance to walk out with the keys with anything less than a paid in full with good ol' “American currency” and a completed repair singed off. Mr. Gripey turned around and went out to his car and returned with three large bank bags.  He tossed the bags onto the counter and said, “Here ya go.  Count it if you feel like it.”  The bags were full of good old American currency alright, all of it … … … entirely pennies.

         “I’ll take my truck now. If you don’t mind,” Mr. Gripey said.  I looked at the pile of coins starting to pour slowly out of the split open bag and looked back up at Mr. Gripey, “Uhm, sir, this is legal tender alright, but this is no way to pay your bill. But, in your case I’ll accept the payment only after it has been fully counted,” I said to him, trying to stare down his angry gaze, “So, just have a seat and I’ll get this counted and when it has been counted I’ll gladly hand the keys over to you.”  Mr. Gripey hadn’t planned his little caper out as well as he had thought. He thought I was just going to hand the keys over and I’d be stuck with several hours of counting pennies while he was long gone with a smirk on his face thinking he just pulled a fast one on a repair shop. The fact is, he wasn't getting the keys until I had every last penny was counted.   

         With some help from the crew, we sat in the front office counting each and every penny one after another. And no, I wasn’t about to give the guy the satisfaction of taking the bags to the bank and have them counted.  I wanted him to sit there waiting the hours it took to have it all hand counted.  It was by far the best bonding time I had with the crew.  As we counted we talked about jobs in the shop, what was coming up next, tools, where we wanted to be in the next few years, our families, kids, and pastimes. 

Indirectly, Mr. Gripey did us all a huge favor by allowing us all to have a few hours of time together away from the wrenches.  We kept at it until we finished and never once did we remain quiet or stop for breaks. By the time the last penny was counted we were all tired of stacking pennies. We could finally get up from our chore and get Mr. Gripey out the door with his truck and warranty paper work. His warranty has expired a long time ago and if it was no surprise, he never did come back for even an oil change.

I’ve been paid with all kinds of things over the years.  From a stack of Susan B Anthony coins to a case of beer.  But, this was the first time anyone paid for an entire job with sacks full of pennies. Just for the record, if there is a next time… I’m not counting all those pennies again.  I’ll let the bank to do it and make the guy come back the next day.  Just don’t tell Mr. Gripey that.  He still may need another lesson or two on how to act civil at a repair shop.  Even if it is one penny at a time.

 OHS – Open Heart Surgery – My story

“Being a mechanic, shop owner, writer, lecturer, and teacher I tend to ‘think’ I’m capable of answering any question, take on any challenge, and solve any problem that comes my way.  This… is one time, I wasn’t able to do so.”  Gonzo

How it all started

         Leading up to my zipper (which is slang for open heart surgery) I thought I was just getting old and tired.  For two years or so, I had a very slight off and on chest pain that didn’t last longer than a few minutes.  It hurt, but I wasn’t concerned.  As soon as the pain dissipated I forgot all about it.  Most of the time I would have months between incidences, but that gradually changed to an all-out crushing pressure that lingered longer and longer between no pain and intense pain. The increasing occurrences went from once in a while, to once a month, to too often to consider it something other than what it was… a heart attack.  

 Things that I used to do in a few minutes seemed to take hours. I’ve always been a hands on and very physical type of guy.  Never one to pass on heavy lifting or something that was physically demanding, but this “slowing down” stuff was just the something that you couldn’t ignore.  It was time to see a doctor.  An appointment was made, but as usual the pain subsided and I was busy at the shop, so on I went back at it as hard as I normally went at it. Thinking as usual, that I was as tough as a grizzly and could solve this like any other problem I’ve encountered.

         There were a lot of signs leading up to my eventual heart attacks, (yes plural…as in several), but as with most boldly-go-where-no-man-has-gone-pig headed “A” personality-types with the personal drive of a MAC truck, and someone who still thinks he can keep up with the twenty something crowd (speaking of myself, of course) – and one who doesn’t listen to their own body or loved ones about your own demise, I ignored the signs. You fall into the trap of misdiagnosing yourself and possibly ending your career and family life all in one fatal swoop. If that’s you, then you’re bound to end up on the floor in the fetal position clutching your chest in extreme agony.  (Been there…done that).

The ER

         So, it’s no surprise I ended up in the ER with my son trying to carry his old man through the doors, while my wife is frantically making hand gestures seeking help from the nursing staff.  It wasn’t long before I was zipped (Gotta love that word, ya know) off into an awaiting curtained off room.  A few quick tests confirmed that this old guy wasn’t heading home any time soon.  Even the doctor who first examined me was in shock.  He said, “Most everyone I see this bad off are downstairs … with the sheet over their face … if ya get my drift.”  He went as far as pulling up the blanket and resting his arm alongside of my leg to show the color differences.  Wow, now I’m shocked.

         All of this led to more tests, and more tests. By now all of my kids have flown into town to be at my side. Stents were tried, but that didn’t work.  All that did was give me a few jolts with the paddles and a few burn marks to show for their efforts.  (Nice mementos don’t ya think.) Anyway, this all led to even more tests and a trip to another hospital to be put on the schedule for my eventual zipper club initiation ceremony. In other words, an open heart surgery.

The first encounter with reality

After my ride in the ambulance on my first day at the “new” hospital I was sitting there in my room, in between one monitoring device and another with my two grown daughters holding each hand, I started to feel something wasn’t right.  I’m still a bit groggy from the stent debacle from the last hospital, but I could tell the medication was wearing off.  Just then, another massive heart attack decided to invite itself.  My only thought was… “Don’t you die with both your daughters holding your hands, ya old fart… pull yourself together!”  The wife was already out of the room looking for the nurse.  The nurse, quite calmly hit the code button, and methodically, as to not bring on any more chaos from the scene which was already happening, carried in a nitro pill for me.  In just a few seconds the pill dissolved under my tongue and I could feel the pain and pressure lifting away.

Waiting on surgery day

         A few days passed, I’ve been poked and prodded, medicated and subdued by so many different IV’s and pills that I’m feeling like a new guy already.  Even though the actual surgery is still days away. Friends and family called or stopped by on a regular basis.  Physically, you can deal with this, emotionally, I don’t know how to put it all into words.  At best, all I can say is that nearly everything you do, hear, or read about has a higher emotional connotation than ever before.  You’ll have no idea how much your emotional state is brought to the surface while going through all of this.  I’ve never been one to cry at the drop of a tissue, but I found myself in these uncontrollable moments over some of the silliest things.  I was later told it’s the medication, then I was told… it’s your heart speaking out, I’m not sure what it is… but it certainly is a change from the norm.  (For anyone who has been through this you know exactly what I mean)

Big John

         The night before the actual operation my usual nursing staff was in for a bit of a change.  The typical female nurse was replaced with BIG John.  Oh yes, I mean big too.  6’5” and towering over everyone and anything.  His job was to get me prepped for the operation.  Now, I’m not a little guy myself.  I’m no 6’5” but I’m not a frail little guy by any means.  Big John comes into my room carrying several items.  First there was the bacterial wash.  “Use this entire bottle and don’t miss a spot,” John tells me.  Then, there were these two pill cups.  John presses the cups in my direction.  “OK, these you take orally, and this one goes knuckle deep, and I’ve got to make sure you’ve done both.”  The realization of why “Big John” was here on this special occasion has become apparent. If I don’t get this done myself… I’m pretty sure he will. Obviously, modesty has left the building quite some time ago, so it wasn’t a stretch to be in the same room with this mammoth individual while I made the knuckle deep insertion.  Although, he wasn’t present for the eventual outcome he was well aware of the results.  I don’t know what they put in those, but a toilet seat belt and ceiling padding would have been appropriate.

The CABG

         The surgery itself (as I was told, because even though I was there…what the heck could I tell you about it) had a few difficulties, but as if it’s not noticeable by now I made it through with my heart beat intact.  The surgeon performs an operation called a CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft). Mine was a double, meaning two grafts were made. One graft was taken from the left side of the chest and one was taken from behind the left knee. A heart pump is used during the operation to ensure a steady flow while the heart is being worked on. Believe me, you (the patient) have no idea what is going on until you’re told later on.  Hopefully, when the medication wears off and you’re coherent.  For me, the wife had to retell and retell the whole thing to me, because I wasn’t comprehending much of anything for quite some time.

The ICU

The ICU (Intensive care unit) is a whole new experience.  The first thing is the introduction prior to the surgery.  I was wheeled into the adjacent room to the operating room where I would be monitored and was told what to expect when I first woke up from the surgery.  The big thing the nurse kept stressing was that I would feel some discomfort from the breathing tube and not to make any attempts to pull it out.  Besides I would be strapped down to the table for my own safety.  I remember waking up and hearing the nurses talking to each other, “He’s coming to, be ready.”  “OK sir, don’t pull it out…Don’t pull it out!”  I realized where and what was going on and understood her commands. To me it was just seconds ago that she had told me to not try to pull out the breathing tube, but in reality it was about five or six hours later.  However, the “minor discomfort” was over shadowed by the fact you’re trying to breathe through a drinking straw.  That I wasn’t expecting at all.  Yea, Uhm Ms. Nurse… you forgot to mention that part. 

My night nurse for ICU was the most anal retentive-OCD person I’ve ever met.  The guy spent every waking hour neatly aligning all of the monitors, bottles, tubes, and me over and over again as if we were about to have the commanding general stop by for an inspection.  Although, when the day came for me to be wheeled back into a regular room a new nurse was assigned the task. My OCD nurse was sent off to another patients ICU room to straighten up their hoses and IV units. The new nurse on the other hand, starting grabbing monitors, IV’s and whatever else needed to go, or that was still attached, and flung them on or around me while I was seated in an oversized recliner.  At one point she said to me as monitors were being tossed about, “Hold this…and this… and this.” and before long I’m being wheeled down the hallway at record setting speeds, as if it’s the Indy 500, only slowing down to make the corners or to change elevators. The overhead florescent lights were moving by so fast I thought they were camera flashes. I’m not sure the reason for the mad dash down the hallways, but it sure was the quickest sprint I’ve ever been on in a recliner race.

Sleeping in at the hospital

         Not that I hate hospitals, OK… I’m not their no#1 fan, but a hospital is not the place to get any sleep.  It seemed at exactly 5 minutes past the hour-every hour-day or night somebody was going to come into the room.  7 o’clock was the worst. That was shift change and it never failed that somebody didn’t tell somebody about what somebody was to do or not do, which meant even more trips in and out of the room. I learned very quickly that the best way to avoid the ever present knock on the door was to just leave the door open….at least that way they didn’t knock, and if you were just about to doze off you might actually catch a bit of shut eye before the next round of visitors, and if you’re really lucky you could avoid the guy coming in to check the serial number on the IV for the UPTEENTH time.

  It was always the same guy at least twice a day from the inventory department.  I told him, “Dude, look around, I’m stuck in this room with this IV monitor and I assure you if anybody comes in here and steals it, replaces it with one that looks just like it, I guarantee I’ll call you and let you know. With all these interruptions I’m awake 24-7 which means me and this IV have become the best of friends. I’m dammed sure this is the same IV unit that was here yesterday! So why in the world do you need to come in and scan the serial number twice a day?!”  I don’t think I came off as his next best pal by a long shot.

Eventually, the day came to get out of the hospital.  One the happiest days of my new life. Me and my IV had to part ways, and no, I didn’t tell the inventory guy.

Home at last

         When you finally get to be home, start your rehab schedule, and try to reassemble your now broken apart life, you begin to reevaluate what is most important for your future. Walking is your foremost concern. I had a routine I would do and set a goal each day a bit farther than the previous day.  Oh, I’d push it too far, and the wife or my son would have to come haul the emotionally incoherent old guy off of our hilly driveway more than once. It does get better, but it does take time. 

         You soon learn new routines, things like coughing and sneezing should only be done if your heart pillow or Teddy bear are close by.  Squeezing the pillow (or bear) against your chest prevents you from popping your sternum open. You also learn how to stand up and roll over without using your upper body as much as you previously did. Sleeping in a bed is out, at least for a month or so (if not longer) you’ll have to learn how to be comfortable in a recliner 24-7. Breathing, talking, walking, and bathing, etc… all their problems that you’ll need to overcome. And, probably the most important thing or the most annoying... (Your interpretation may vary) is the now-and-for-ever-more medications you’ll be on.

Family and friends take precedence over work and bills.  The realization that life is all about a beginning and an end and that you’ve been given a chance to change your life’s conclusion differently than what it could have been.  Not that you need a lightning bolt to drop out of the sky to tell you to change your life…but a heart attack and open heart surgery is close enough to the same thing. So heed the warning, do yourself a favor. Except it for what it is, and discover what is more important.  Not a lot of people get this second chance. For some, it’s as sudden and as unexpected as a car crash. I feel there’s reason for every action and reaction.  It’s how you cope and/or do with those actions and reactions that make a difference.  

Putting it all into perspective

          Life is what you make of it.  There is no perfect solution, there is no golden key, it’s up to you to make it a difference. It’s not money or fame… just you.  As we’ve all heard before, “If you don’t have your health, you don’t have much at all.” True to some extent, but not always true and not always is your health something that you can have the way you’d like it to be. What is possible is living life to the fullest no matter what the odds.  I for one, love to hear stories of people who have found out they have some sort of rare disease and decided to fill their bucket list of personal accomplishments until their time has expired. I commend them and hope I can do the same.

So even though my stamina and strength may not be equal to what it was of years past, I’m still able to experience all there is out there. For me, I’d like to think I still can try. Maybe it’s not all about the challenges, maybe it’s not all about solutions, perhaps it’s just about the adventure.  Becoming a member of the Zipper Club isn’t the end… it’s a new beginning.    

Nothing Beats a Full House

There’s days, even weeks (depending on the time of year) when a pair is pretty good.  Then there are days when three of a kind ain’t bad.  But in my book nothing beats a full house.  I’ll bet you thought I was talking about poker, didn’t ya? Nope, I’m talking about the automotive repair business.  When the shop is humming, and the jobs are flowing, and business is brisk, that’s when I know I’ve been dealt a winning hand. It might mean coming into work really early or staying late, but at the end of the week it’s a pretty good feeling to know you’ve played your cards right.

There’s been many a day that closing down the shop early is better than being dealt jokers or cards that won’t play.  The phone isn’t ringing, the shop is empty, all the tools and service bays have been cleaned, and all the shelves are stocked, but not a single car in the service bays.  Those are the days that even a pair sounds good.  I’d even settle for pulling one decent card out of the deck on those days.

“It’s feast or famine,” a good friend of mine told me.  He’s a realtor, and his business is the same way.  One day everybody is calling, and the next day you have to pick up the phone just to see if there’s still a dial tone.  (Boy, do I know it, I certainly can relate to that.)  There is a pattern to all of this chaos though.  It took me years of running a shop to figure it out, and I’m sure the same thing happens in every part of the country, just like it does here in the southern part where I live.

Take the holidays… no, seriously… take them. There a joyous time to be with family and friends, but it’s not that great if you’re making a living servicing cars.  It never fails when a holiday is on the calendar you can bet it’s slow.  But, the day or so before a long weekend holiday you can guarantee it’s going to be packed at the repair shop.  Seems everybody waits to the last minute to get the car ready for a trip and everybody wants their car done… RIGHT NOW!  I pretty much know those are the days I’m coming in early and staying late. 

Then there’s when school starts… listen close…can ya hear the crickets out in the shop?  I know I can.  Usually the week or two before school starts everything slows to a crawl.  Oh you might get a couple of pair, maybe three of a kind but it’s doubtful you’ll get a full house.  As soon as school is in session the cards start to fall in the right place again.  It’s a sure bet the shop is going to be full for the next couple of weeks.

Of course there’s Fair week.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the Fair, I think it’s pretty cool, but not from a business stand point that’s for sure… it’s the week to fold your hand.  Nothing ever happens Fair week.  In my early years there was one Fair week that I’ll never forget.  I had one car for the whole entire week… yes… one and only one car.  However, it was a super huge job that nearly took the whole week to finish.  (Funny how things work out that way.)

Temperature and the weather have a lot to do with what cards you’re dealt in this crazy world of auto repair.  Heavy snow or monsoon rain means… stay home, fold em’.  Now a light rain, one of those steady down pours that doesn’t seem to end has a different affect.  The shop slows, but the phone rings constantly.  The usual caller will tell me something like this; “Yes, I’m having a problem with my wipers can you fix them?”

I’ll answer, “Why yes, we could get you in right now.”

“Oh it’s raining, but as soon as it lets up I’ll bring it in.”

I know better than to assume they’ll be in on the next sunny day. As soon as the sun comes out they forget all about their wiper troubles.  I guess it’s one of those “out of sight, out of mind” things.  Although, I’ve learned to get their phone number, and call them the next day and remind them of their previous call and set an appointment to get it in the shop.  Surprisingly enough, it works.

Now the temperature, that’s a real fickle issue.  Too hot or too cold does some strange things to cars. Usually means it’s going to be busy.  Then again if it’s a “room temperature” sort of day… it’s probably not going to be that busy.  There are the calls of course, there’s the “stop by the shop and chat about it” kind, and then there are the ones that just want to pick your brain and price check everything. 

When it comes to creature comforts in the car, it’s a safe bet on those high or low temperature days those systems are on the top of the repair priority list.  Wouldn’t be the first time someone has come in the shop with their brakes metal to metal, but they’re not worried about that… that A/C is a must.  Now in the winter months it’s the heater, or the defroster, or the wiper blades that froze to the windshield the night before and they didn’t bother to clean them off… they just turned them on, and now... oops… they don’t work at all.

The one ace in the hole that does take the edge off of the ups and downs of the seasonal changes is to have a back burner job sitting in the corner of the shop.  Maybe a restoration project or some personal toy you can pull out of moth balls for the guys to fiddle around with when it’s slow.

All in all, doing this job is a great reward; it’s a great career choice.  You meet some really interesting people from all walks of life in this business.  A lot of them become regulars, and stop by no matter what the temperature is or whether or not the Fair is in town.  Ya just got to play your cards right, know when to fold them and know when to hold them.

When it’s slow you might tend to dwell on things and think you’ve done something wrong, but then things pick back up and you forget all about those thoughts.  You’re taking a gamble in just about any career choice you make, automotive repair is no different, and when someone asks, “How’s it going?” I always answer with, “It’s slowly getting busy or busy getting slow.” A couple of cars in the morning, maybe three of a kind later that afternoon, whatever there is that’s the hand you’ve been dealt for the day.  But, in this game of auto repair… nothing beats a full house.

Water Cooler Diagnostics

We’ve all heard the phrase, “codes don’t fix cars, good diagnostics does”. Codes are merely a direction or path, not the answer as some might think. Those “codes fix it all” believers are usually at the bottom of the diagnostic chain. You know the type; those Neanderthals with little wrenches and big cheater bars, or the ones that follow the old adage, “When in doubt-rip it out” method of diagnosing a problem.

It’s seems to me that car repair for a certain demographic of people has always been something related to hand-me-down repair information, not diagnostic skills. I believe it’s all because of the availability of cheaply made parts and bad information. Some of it is hearsay, but a lot of it comes from two guys chatting next to the water cooler at work, and neither one of them have any automotive diagnostics background at all.

    This latest case study is a perfect example of why swapping parts and paying attention to those water cooler experts isn’t always a good idea. A trained technician with diagnostic background and less time at the water cooler may be what you need.

    A 2007 Dodge 4.7L pickup came into the shop with a stalling problem. The owner had already stopped by the water cooler and made a trip to the code fairy. Since no codes were stored, there wasn’t much for him to do except follow the water cooler genius’ advice. He swapped out every sensor and computer part he was told about and a few more he could barely reach, just to be safe. All of which didn’t change a thing. Before writing up the work order, I had to listen to his story, which ended like most of them do, "I've already spent too much on this truck, and I don't want to spend a penny more." (I wonder what kind of commission the water cooler guy got from the part store for helping this guy spend all his cash.)

    The stalling was pretty predictable, usually every 15 minutes. Just as it would stall, the check engine light would rapidly flash, then the truck would sit silent. If you turned the key off and back on, the truck would run perfectly as if nothing happened, right up to the very moment the whole scenario repeated itself.

    Since the only odd thing was this momentary flashing of the MIL, I decided to hook up a scanner and wait to see if this odd failure would show up on the screen. Sure enough, code P0688 popped up momentarily, just as the truck stalled “ASD signal low”. Out of habit I reached up and cycled the key. Dang it, the code never stored and the truck is back to running correctly again. I’ll have to wait one more time and see if I actually had the right code number. Since it only occurred as it went through its death roll, catching this failure was going to be tricky.

    It was the correct code alright, but no signs of dropped voltage or weak connections anywhere to be found. It’s time to pull out the big guns. Break out the scope boys! With the scope hooked up to two different injector leads and the remaining channels on a couple of coils, I spent the afternoon watching the ASD voltage like a nervous hen watching her chicks. As if on cue, the truck died. Not a bit of change on the scope. I’m definitely going at this the wrong way. 

    Something is dropping off, or at least I assumed it was. Instead of looking at the ASD signal, how about checking the injection signal and coil signals from the PCM? This time the scope did have a weird response. Just as it stalled there was a little extra squiggly line that didn’t belong in the pattern on the coil input leads. Very subtle difference, but enough of a difference that it needed closer attention. The voltage signal spiked a bit higher than normal just as the truck would stall, and then the voltage would drop to zero. It must be the PCM or a coil. Since the signal was only there for a brief blip on the scope, it wasn’t exactly something I could put my finger on just yet.

    Time for some old school tricks. Since the PCM was new, I could at least (with some trepidation) rule it out for now. I could test further, or I could try to create a problem that might mimic what I was seeing on the scope pattern, or with luck, if it was a spike that was coming from a coil, disconnecting it could show the problem. I decided to give this truck a miss of my very own and see if I could increase that little squiggle into a bigger one.

     I'll unplug one coil and watch the scope pattern. If I’m lucky, the truck will either stay running longer than it normally did, or it might show me a larger voltage spike. Sure enough, I found it on the third coil. As long as that particular coil was left unplugged, the truck ran well past the usual stall time. To verify it, I plugged the coil back in and watched the scope readings directly at that coil. A millisecond before the stall the coil spiked to the top of the screen as the truck shut off. Just as I suspected, if it was on the coil that was causing the problem the spiked voltage would show higher there than on the adjacent coils.

    The big question for me was why did it not set a code? The reason was the coil lead led straight to the PCM. The extra high voltage going back into the circuit simply turned the PCM off as if the key was turned off. There’s no codes for shutting the truck off, only codes for failures that make it shut off. The solution...replace the coil. 

    Now and then there are problems that don’t follow the diagnostic steps laid out by the engineers. Even though you’d think every aspect and every type of condition has been tried and tested, or at least talked about around the water cooler. There are times when you’ve got to look past the “assumed” problem and dig a little deeper to find the cause. There's no doubt this repair is going to be another one of those conversations around the water cooler, but I seriously doubt anywhere in this story will the novice know-it-all admit that it took an experienced technician to locate his problem, not his water cooler buddy. Oh, and I don’t expect to hear him say as he leans on the cooler, “Codes don’t fix cars, mechanics do” even when there isn't a code.

Flash or Pass

         A few decades ago cars were just . . . well, cars.  They had an engine, transmission, a starter, a heater, maybe an air conditioner, and all the usual accouterments that made them a car. Mechanics toiled away at replacing engines, rebuilding master cylinders, and fixing transmissions. Almost every component on the car was reworked to a like new condition and some parts may even have been rebuilt several times, before they were too worn out to go around the horn one more time.  Labor rates raised and fell with the economy, while parts suppliers kept up the demand for rebuild kits as a normal over-the-counter parts inventory. Then somewhere along the way something changed. 

            The era of the microchip followed right along with the era of plastics. Things were built not to “rebuild”, but to toss.  Thin plastic housings with hundreds and hundreds of micro circuits all wired into a microchip made up circuits that allowed the impossible to become the possible.  Some tasks became obsolete, like the telephone switch board operator, even bank tellers nearly went extinct when the ATM machine was developed. The world would never be the same with the microchip in every facet of modern life.

          Machining tools could now process and manufacturer automotive parts at such close tolerance that less material was needed per component. The prices for some of these components fell to less than or equivalent to the rebuild kits. Rebuilding an automotive component was soon a thing of past generations. The skills of the mechanic were now overshadowed by the microchip’s ability to manufacture a part better and cheaper than he could repair the old one.

        Soon, all this “toss-when-worn-out” reached the microchip itself.  Computer software started finding itself in the very same throwaway society.  Maybe not in the sense that we actually threw it away, but a new set of instructions or an updated program may be needed and flashed into a replacement processor.  This brings up a whole new problem for the mechanic.  Now those skills he developed in rebuilding a master cylinder have next to nothing to do with reprogramming an anti-lock brake module, and if he wants to stay in the business of repairing today’s cars he’s going to need to know how to program, or at least understand the need for and/or the process, rather than knowing the old school way of rebuilding a master cylinder. So as a mechanic, you have to ask yourself, “Do I flash, or do I pass?” Passing on the flash may mean you might not have the type of work in the shop that you can handle anymore. Luckily, there is a way around that problem.

         These days nearly every car on the road has more than one type of computer device in the car, and there’s a very good chance that at some point something will need a software update or reflashed because a component has been changed or upgraded. In a way reflashing, programming, coding, or the other various software issues there are in the modern car are somewhat of today’s version of rebuilding that master cylinder to a like new condition.

         Cars these days are lasting longer, running longer, and have different types of break downs than models from those early days.  That’s doesn’t mean changing brake pads or installing a reman transmission isn’t done on a daily basis, they most certainly are.  It’s the other side of the repair business, the computer updating and reflashing that’s an even bigger part of regular maintenance than ever before.

          So, which type of repair shop are you?  Are you the shop that will do the mechanical work, but leave those electronic issues to someone else?  It’s something every shop owner, as well as technicians need to think about.  Of course, the amount of investment and the continual training involved can be overwhelming. Fortunately, there is a way to do the mechanical stuff and be a proficient repair shop without breaking the bank, and still service your customers’ electrical and software needs. The mobile diagnostic technician is the answer.

        Seriously, I never dreamed there would come a day I would be saying this, but the mobile tech is a viable source of revenue and a vital source of technical skills that a shop without those skills should utilize.  Now, I’m not talking about those fly by night boys with a box of tools, I’m referring to the diagnostic scanner mobile tech who has the experience in dealing with all the websites, programming issues, and has the up to date information on how to perform such things as reflashing, key programming, and reloading of new software.  

         What’s happening in the automotive electronic world reminds me of how things were when manufacturers switched from points and condensers to electronic ignition systems. A lot of guys refused to learn the new systems and soon found themselves only working on older models, which eventually faded away.

            Somewhere along the way of the electronic ignition systems, parts swapping became the norm.  Instead of testing or diagnosing a problem it was a lot easier to keep the various types of ignition modules in your tool box, and when a “no-start” came in it only took a few minutes to swap the ignition module with your test piece. It did save diagnostic time, and it did get results, but the microchip and new technology has struck back again.  The old school ways of parts swapping vs. in depth diagnostic with scopes and scanners has just about run its course.  Now, swapping components can lead to an even bigger problem than what the car originally came in for.

          However, the general public is having a hard time comprehending the reason for these diagnostic costs.  It used to be that they would bring the car to the shop, the mechanic would do some fiddle greasy job that involved rebuilding some part or swapping the old ignition module, and he didn’t charge a diagnostic fee. If a part was suspected as bad, it could usually be swapped out without any worries. That’s just not car repair anymore. Now swapping components with integrated modules can lead a disaster.

          On the other hand, those techs who pick up the pieces after one of these parts changers finish slapping parts should be commended. The aftermath of installing a processor without knowing the eventual outcome can be a brutal blow to the pocketbook. 

         Radar systems, infrared and optical systems, cameras and proximity sensors aren’t the kind of components easily rebuilt, if at all.  But, there’s a good chance you can reprogram most of it. Yes, we still have engines that need built and gears that need changed, but there seems to be a lot more in the mechanic field that involves electronics.  To be today’s top mechanics and a repair shop that can get the job done, a lot more emphasis has to be put on that little microchip than on a rebuild kit.  Flashing modules and loading computer software updates are just a part of the business now. 

          Programming ain't for everyone, and some shops and techs can get by without ever dealing with it.  But, when needed, utilize the expertise that is available to you.  Learn how to flash by attending a couple of classes or find someone that can do it for you.  Help your customer help you increase your bottom line.  Don't pass on the flash.

Drain the Swamp and Count the Alligators

Occasionally the customer has more confidence in you than you do yourself.

         The old farmer tells his hired hand, “Get down there and drain that swamp today.”

         The hired hand says, “Looks like there’s a heap of alligators in there.”

         “Don’t ya never mind about them gators, you just get that swamp drained!” the old farmer explains.

         Some days I feel like the hired hand.  I’ll get a job in, and I already have the feeling there is going to be a whole heap of alligators between me and draining that swamp.  This time around it’s a 2004 Nissan 350z with a non-functioning convertible top.  The top was up, but wouldn’t move, other than unlatching the rear (5^th bow) window section of the top.

         Jim is an old customer who loves his little Z car, and was well aware of a few of the alligators lurking under that deck lid.  How did he know?  Easy, he already tried to get it repaired at a convertible top shop, but they weren’t up to the task of taking on this alligator infested swamp.

  Jim’s only comment to me was, “I don’t care how many problems you find, just get it working for me.” 

         After gathering all the TSB’s, wiring diagrams, procedures, and any other bits of info I ventured out into untested waters to see what I could find out. All the test procedures started out by checking pin-out voltages and resistances at the convertible top ECM, and guess where that is?… under the very same deck lid that isn’t moving… hmm, imagine that.  The trunk is the only option.  You’ve got to crawl in there and find the cables to release the deck lid manually.  

          You could tell somebody else had already been working on it; the emergency cables were nowhere to be found.  I looked like some sort of contortionist trying to get down into the small little opening at the bottom of the trunk with my bore scope. I had to wiggle it around in there, until I found the very thin wire cables that would release the latches. (They were pushed back under the lining of the storage area, which is not accessible from the trunk area)  Ugh, I haven’t even moved the top yet and I’m already swimming with the gators… what could be next?

Once I got the deck lid up I could then remove the interior trim and test the ECM to see what needed to be done.  The output voltage for the 5^th bow actuator motor was coming out of the ECM, so unless the wires are broken or disconnected the motor must have failed.  Ok, now crawl out of the storage area and wrestle my way into the passenger compartment, then pull the trim piece on the back window up to expose the 5^th bow motor.  The motor brushes were shot.  Lucky for Jim, I just happened to have some brushes that were a perfect fit.  Might as well replace the brushes and see if it will work.

         I gave it a try.  With a flip of the control button the 5^th bow swung up into perfect upright position, but the top wouldn’t move.  What now!?!?  Back to the ECM and check the stop switches and motor voltages to the top.  This time the alligator is in the ECM. Inside the ECM I found the circuit board lead to the top motors was burnt in two. Ok, fix the circuit board and try again.  The top moved smoothly through its folding process.  As the top closes the 5^th bow actuator has to rotate in the opposite direction, so it will sit flush inside the convertible top storage compartment.  As the bow moved to its next position the whole thing quit again.  Oh come on… enough already… more alligators?!?!   Yes, more alligators.  Another trip back to the ECM, this time I found the stop switch for this position wasn’t working.  Somebody had bent the micro switches so far out of whack there was no way most of them were ever going to work.    By now I’ve called Jim at least a dozen times to keep him informed of what I was up against… his only answer, “Keep draining the swamp” Ok, Ok, I got it… I’ll put my waders on and crawl upside down and sideways to get this thing working… but…man these alligators… they’re everywhere.

         If you counted the different movements from completely up to fully down there are 12 separate electrical/mechanical operations the top has to go through, AND they all have to work in the correct sequence.  One micro switch out of position and something else begins to move at the wrong time. 

         I thought I was done with my alligator counting by the time I had the last micro switch in place, but the first time I got the top to fold up and drop into the storage area, it would stop about an inch or so from completely going down.  Seriously? More gators on the prowl?  What did I miss this time?  I went thru all the electrical and mechanical diagrams again… Nothing, every step was correct, but there had to be something missing.  Then I found the answer on one page.  One short reference to some elastic straps that connect the 2nd bow to the 3rd bow.  These straps spring the 2^nd bow towards the rear of the car to allow for clearance, so the canvas and all the linkage arms can drop that last inch or so into the storage compartment. 

         I did some more searching and found the part number 97150-CE01B “strap, elastic, convertible top”. I called the dealer and gave them the number…

“Yea, it’s a good number, but we’ve never sold any.”

   I’m shocked. From what I found out lots of these convertible tops had the same problem. I figured they would have changed hundreds of these.   It looks like it’s a common alligator in this part of the swamp; seems to me every top should probably have these replaced with the new part number, (know somebody with one?… give them that part number). 

   “Well, get me a set of them.”

   Once the parts came to the shop, installing them was a piece of cake compared to everything else I had to do.  At least now I could see the bottom of this swamp.  No more alligators, no more swamp to drain… I’m done. I found 20 different problems in the top mechanisms and electrical components.  That’s a total of 20 alligators that were lurking in this swamp. What a job!

         It took a lot of effort to solve all the problems that I found. It didn’t matter much to Jim how many things needed taken care of, the smile on his face as the 350z top worked like new made all that gator wrestling worthwhile.  I almost gave up on it several times, but Jim insisted that I keep at it… I’m glad I did. 

         So the next time I take on one of these gator infested jobs, I know exactly what I’m going to do.  Ignore the difficulties, and do just like the old farmer told his hired hand to do.

 “Drain the swamp, and don’t pay no mind to all those alligators”. 

There’s an App for that     

         Technology has a way of surprising us all by surpassing itself over and over again.  One day you’re dialing a rotary phone wired to a land line, and the next we’re communicating between micro wave towers and satellites.  We now have the capability to talk to anyone anywhere on the planet with a small hand held device just as long as you’ve got a signal. But, talking isn’t enough for our modern world.  We want the ability to connect with everyone and every sort of business or hobby we can think of through our magic little smart phone for any reason and at any time we’d like.

It could be for local or world news, maybe to keep in touch with friends across the country, or how to do something you’ve never done before.  Book a hotel room, find a new job, check the weather, the possibilities are endless.  The technology in our hands is by far more technically advanced than what was used for the Apollo space missions. Think about it, we sent men to the moon with less technology than what you have in your pocket right now. Looking at it in those terms makes me realize the depth and scope of this new technology, it’s truly amazing.

         If it wasn’t for museums hardly anyone born lately would have any idea how life was before transistors. Something else to consider is that anyone born a decade ago has never known a world without a smart phone.  People born just a few decades earlier have never known a world without the internet.  Another decade more and those people have no concept as to how the world made it from day to day without a home computer. Going even further back before the home computer, a computer to those folks was this huge machine inside a climate controlled building with these big reals of magnetic tape spinning randomly around or large stacks of punch cards that zipped through a machine at lightning speeds.  Going back to the 30’s and 40’s, a small screen 2 way conversation wrist watches was only in the newspaper comic strips and something that might resemble a computer was only found on a sci-fi movie down at the Bijou.

         Now, we not only communicate, but we can source information about anything you can think of right at our finger tips. Need to know the yardage at the golf course, there’s an app.  Want to know the ingredients of a chocolate cake, yep, there’s an app for it.  Can’t figure out how to fix your car, you got it… there’s an app for that too.  Wait a minute… Did I say fix your car with an app?  I thought car repair was some sort of highly skilled trade that took years to learn the proper techniques and even longer to be proficient at it? That’s right, the very same.

         Anyone with a smart phone can be an expert in any field they would like to be an expert in, and it doesn’t take much to make a “You Tube” video on any subject, especially on how to fix your car, and with a little extra effort you too can make an App on car repair as well.  Some are developed, produced, and edited to a high standard and at a professional level.  Others, well I’m not sure any thought was put into the content, background, or the poor grammar they used.

 Years before the internet a mechanic learned their trade by being in the trade, now we’ve got what are commonly referred to as “You Tube Mechanics”.  These are the guys who couldn’t repair much of anything without consulting a You Tube video or going to their favorite App and more than likely never considered going to a trade school or opening a repair manual to find reliable information. Even though the general rule of thumb in the business these days is not to follow a traditional apprentice program but to learn as you go doesn’t mean you won’t learn something from today’s method of watching videos or viewing Apps, it’s just how much knowledge is lost or passed up by not following in the footsteps of our seasoned master mechanics and learning the trade from their well callused hands.  

         I’ve got to admit, there are a lot of great Apps out there for the mechanic to have on their smart phone.  For example, OEM1stop or NATSF where all the manufacturers’ websites are listed. You can find an App for calculating the cylinder volume on an air cooled Volkswagen, or the alignment specifications for just about every car out there, to what type of headlamp fits a certain car.  It’s endless. Whatever information you need, chances are there’s an app or some sort of site for it.  But, with all this helpful wisdom an App can’t fix the car for you.  You still need somebody to get in there and make the repairs accurately.

         It used to be (years ago) a car would come into the shop that a friend of a friend spent the weekend under the hood trying to solve their friends car woes. Then, along came the internet and the smart phone which brought a wealth of knowledge at their fingertips.  But, in the end, the car still has to limp into a repair shop for a mechanic to get it back on the road.  Take this typical internet repair that happens on any typical day at any typical repair shop in any typical town in the country.

         The car comes in on the hook and before it’s even on the ground the mechanic notices parts dangling out from the bottom of the car. The repair order only states that it stopped on the customer while driving and that he had attempted to look at the problem himself.  Upon further investigation the dangling parts and the condition of the motor showed signs of someone trying to remove the timing belt.  The plastic cover had a crack from the top to the bottom and it just so happens to be one of those covers that secured various hoses and wires away from moving parts.  It was clear that somebody had tried to take it apart without knowing all that needs to be known on how to remove it. A few words were mumbled by the mechanic that we don’t need to repeat and a call was made to the owner. (On a smart phone of course)

         The conversation started and ended with how he watched a video and downloaded an App that showed the timing marks.  The App had some great information on it, but the video lacked the complete step by step procedures. The kind of steps that a seasoned mechanic would do without thinking about. You know, checking for hidden bolts, or how you should always give a light tug before reaching for the prybar and damaging something. Things like, cleaning the surfaces before starting so that you’re less likely to miss a bolt or fastener or have a tool slip on the greasy surfaces, to name a few. But, the app didn’t mention any of that. Now the customer isn’t here just for a timing belt, but a new timing belt cover, a harmonic balancer that was mauled into a useless pile of metal because he didn’t have the correct removal tool, and to replace all the missing special timing belt cover bolts the owner let fall into his gravel driveway never to be found again. Not to mention, nothing has yet been properly diagnosed.

         Maybe what the automotive field needs is an App that shows a consumer how to dial their smart phone and contact a professional mechanic before they attempt a DIY repair at home, in a gravel driveway, with off shore-poorly made tools, and no proper safety equipment.  All the while, trying to balance their cell phone on the edge of the fender watching a You Tube video from a source with no credentials showing their expertise or experience.

         Yea, there ought-a be an App for that.

Bugs In The Rugs

         Ants, moths, bees, flies, wasps, spiders, scorpions, roaches, yellow jackets, fireflies, centipedes, silver fish, lady bugs, katydids, mosquitos, termites, fleas, mites, and fly larvae (maggots).

         No, that’s not a list of insects on the back of a can of insecticide.  That’s just about every type of creepy, crawly nasty little bug I have encountered in a car at one time or another.  It’s enough to make your skin crawl. 

         Sometimes it’s not so much what you run into, but where.  For instance, I was working on a little foreign car, checking out a faulty turn signal.  I diagnosed a bad lead on the front turn signal socket, and had already pulled the lens off and supplied a ground to the bulb, so I knew what I needed to do.  Just sling under the car and reattach the ground lead that was hanging there.  The car was low to the ground, but I managed to wedge myself under there just enough to make the repair.  As I managed to turn my head to see the turn signal housing, there… just a ¼” from my nose was a large nest of red wasps.  They were all darting around working on their nest totally oblivious to me.  I didn’t stick around long enough to introduce myself. 

         Something I’ve learned after being at this for a few years: If you get one of those carpet cleaning trucks in the shop for repair, make sure you have plenty of roach spray handy.  It’s not uncommon to pop the lid off of the fuse box to find hundreds of those nasty little critters trying to find a new hiding place. I’ve even seen a few behind the lens of the instrument cluster just minding their own business as they walked over the gauge needles. They tend to eat wires, leave their acidic droppings on circuit boards, and their dead relatives laying in the vents. Nothings worse than getting “bug sprayed”… with bugs when you turn on the blower motor.  

         Now when you’re trying to find an odor, or some reeking smell that has literally chased the owners out of their car, don’t be surprised if you’ll eventually find a dead mouse or some other strange varmint carcass in the duct work, trunk, or under the carpet.  The worst is when the flies have found it and started laying eggs on it.  For the investigative type mechanic, the fly larvae is a good way to determine how long whatever it was has been decomposing in the customer’s car.  You see, a fly can lay more than 100 eggs on a warm moist body and in 8 to 24 hours the larvae will begin to hatch. Those wormy, wriggly, crawly little ugly, nasty things stick around for about 5 days and then start to pupate into an adult fly.  A capital “G” for gross.  Knowing all of that will allow you to inform your customer when their little friend became post mortem in their cabin filter or wherever it was you found it, although at this point they’re too grossed out to really care about your CSI skills!

         Spiders can bring out the heebeegeebees in the biggest, baddest mechanic on the planet.  I once worked with a guy who was completely petrified of spiders.  We were tearing down an old car that was in for restoration when he removed the door panel and a large tarantula came crawling out from the bottom corner of this old rusted door.  Honestly, I’ve never seen or heard such a big fella scream like a little girl.  He not only came up with his own high pitched language that only he could understand, but managed to dart across the shop and up onto the top of his tool box so fast he didn’t have time to let go of the door panel. He stayed up there perched on his tool box talking some sort of gibberish only he could understand, as he was kicking tools out of the open drawers.  The tarantula had to go, or he wasn’t coming down.  I got elected to shoo the little critter out the door. We literally had to pry the door panel out of his hands and coax him down with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. His tool box needed a bit of straightening after all was said and done.

         Ants for the most part are pretty harmless. I’ve never ran across fire ants in a car, but I can only imagine what that would have been like.  The ones I’ve run across are just the busy little ant type doing busy little ant things. Sometimes the hardest part is finding where they’re coming from.  Half the time you’ll see these little guys marching along one after another in single file heading to another part of the car.  If it’s a car that’s been sitting in one spot for a long time chances are they’ve built an elaborate home somewhere in the car and it’s your job to find out where.  Good luck with that.

         Sometimes you wonder how some of these insects find their way into a car in the first place.  Like pulling a spare tire out of an old car and find a scorpion staring at you.  Or mud dauber wasp nests all over the engine compartment.  They sure do find some of the oddest places to build their little nests.  One time I’ve even found them on the carburetor choke plate on a car that was only sitting for a few days.  The owner tried to start it, but had no luck with it.  He then had it dragged into the shop to have the no start problem checked out.  After a bit of carburetor spray to dissolve the mud it started right up.

The owner being the kind of a jokester he was, now had a new story to tell about his old car.  He started his little tale with, “Guess wasp up with my car?” 

         Whether it is a family of arachnids or any other family of insects invading your car, somewhere some mechanic has probably already experienced it.  As they say, “There are more bugs in the world than there are people.” So there’s a good chance you’ll run across a bug in a rug or one in the trunk of that very car you’re working on.  Just work on some fast reflexes, a few nerves of steel, and it wouldn’t hurt to keep a can of bug spray handy either.   

The Rules of Physics

         There’s something to be said about having rules.  There are some rules we follow because they’re laws, and rules we all follow out of respect, because it’s the polite thing to do.  While other rules are just common sense.  However, as they say, “Rules are made to be broken”.  That may apply to most rules, but the rules of physics are not something that can be tampered with, although some people think they can.  Here’s my list of customer antics that definitely require a refresher course in basic physics.

         Rotational differences in an arc

         A customer asks for an oil change and a tire rotation.  After the tire rotation the customer is out in the parking lot examining their car.  He motions for the mechanic to come out and look at the car.  For some reason he is livid about the valve stems and white lettering on his tires.  Apparently the letter or the valve stems aren’t in perfect sync as they were when he arrived. Obviously, the mechanic is at fault and needs to correct it. Somebody contact my physics teacher.

         Gravity and the defrost duct

         In the haste to get ready for a special dinner party a diamond ring was laid on top of the dash.  In a flash the diamond ring slid down into the defrost duct and was gone, completely out of sight. The next day the mechanic was told to gently tip the car over and shake the diamond ring out.  Yep, just lift the car up, toss it upside down, and that little ring will just fall out, and since gravity is your friend the ring should just fall out.  I’m just wondering whose holding the car upside down… the mechanic?

         Coolant can be hot, and don’t let the pressure get to you

         Even with a temperature gauge showing the actual water temp. It’s virtually impossible to get through to some people that you shouldn’t take the radiator cap off a hot engine.  Even in this modern era with plenty of warning labels clearly visible, somebody is going to twist the cap off and get a face full of hot coolant.  Of course, it’s even harder for some people to understand the physic behind how pressure and the coolant mix affects the boiling point of water, or the fact that the radiator is under pressure for quite some time after you shut the car off. Oh, and by the way, water boils at 212° and most car coolant systems run at a much higher temperature than that.

         All brake pads are the same

         Have you ever wondered how much time the engineers and scientists spend on developing brake pad materials? Did you ever stop and think that some of their attempts weren’t the best, but still had some merit? There’s a lot of physic involved.  I’m sure there were a few awesome ideas that still failed to be considered as the top notch part.  So, where do those ideas go? Especially the pads that don’t last as long, or squeal, or chatter, or just plain aren’t that great.  They usually end up as the discount store’s cheaper line of brake pads. 

You know the ones, the ones that have poor heat coefficient, or a glue that breaks down and causes the pad to slide off the backing. Somebody had to wholesale them, somebody had to market them and somebody had to price them to sell. Never fear, Mr. Discount is here!  He’ll buy them up and sell them to the DIY’r market and tell them how wonderful they are.  Not to worry, it’s pretty clear no one in the store knows how to read those DOT edge codes anyway. They’ll find somebody else to blame for their early brake pad failure, it’s surely has nothing to do with their decision to buy the cheapest part.  

         Increasing mileage by decreasing fuel

         Has there ever been a time that the first thing people wanted to know about their new car wasn’t the gas mileage?  When I was a kid, and muscle cars could be purchased right from the showroom there was still that sticker on the window with the miles per gallon clearly visible.

I’m not sure if gas mileage was the big concern, but every crackpot inventor since the beginning of the internal combustion engine thinks they’ve come up with the holy grail of mileage-increasing-fuel-saving device that is going to turn even the biggest gas guzzling muscle car into the next fuel economy giant.  From adding magnets to the fuel lines, to some sort of wind turbulence device stuffed into the cold air inlet.

 The physics dictates the impossibilities that at some point the return on the energy consumed surpasses the rate of energy produced, but on we go with the next grandiose idea to save fuel by some superific idea maker who got it approved by 9 out of 10 experts.  You know the ones, “those experts” ya know.  The same experts you hear about on all those TV commercials.  I’ve often wondered who the 10^th expert was and why in the world didn’t they just say 9 out of 9 experts and skip the 10^th guy all together. Too presumptuous I suppose.

 Have ya ever noticed these mileage ideas only show when the price per gallon goes up? I guess were all too busy driving around and can’t think up any new fuel saving ideas when the price is low, or we were listening to that 10th expert, and momentarily forgot about the other 9.

For every reaction . . .

One of the laws of physics states that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  Now it’s not likely if we all stood on a chair and jumped off at the same time that we could disrupt the earth’s rotation or knock it out of alignment with the other planets, but ya know, somebody has probably thought about doing it….  besides myself.

Car crash studies have known about this action reaction thing for a long time, and have found a way to lessen the sudden impact by dissipating the force with crumple zones strategically placed in the body panels and components. This also means that in the event of a minor collision you may actually have damage in other areas of the car that were not directly involved with the actual collision. 

However, there’s a limit to this “inclusion to my collision”.   Hardly a day goes by that somebody at some body shop will try to slide an extra dent or two from an unreported accident in with their latest fender bender.  Some are very subtle, while others are noticeably and blatantly trying to take advantage of the situation. Anything to get somebody else to pay for their lack of watching out for the neighbor’s mailbox which was sticking out from the curb, or the telephone pole that jumped out and creased the side of the car after a late night at the bar. There’s one for the automatous car theory.  If you’ve had too many, who’s the designated driver now? And, whose reaction and actions dictate who’s allowed behind the wheel… if there is one?    

We’ve only scratched the surface of what physics can tell us about our cars.  It never fails to amaze me how some people make it from one day to the next without a basic understanding of the world around them.  They just seem lost in their own little made up world in which gravity doesn’t work, or where two objects can occupy the exact same spot on planet earth. Am I surprised? No, not hardly. Some people will believe anything. It all comes down to physics and your interpretation of the rules, and as we all know, the rules of physics doesn’t apply to some people out there. Just hope they’re not stopping by the shop anytime soon. I need a break from the last one who wanted 13” tires on 15” rims.   

Mechanic for Life

         A lot of us mechanics may not have started out with the ambitions of being one. It’s just how things worked out. You might have started out with a college education or military background, and it turned out to be something that didn’t suit you at all.  Others might have grown up in the business and were handling wrenches long before they were out of diapers.  Still others started by fixing their own car, because they couldn’t afford to pay someone else to do it, and found it was something that suited them more than an office cubicle.  Whatever the method that got you into the business, you’re probably hooked. Most likely, just like me, you’re a mechanic for life now.

         I’ve been turning wrenches for as long as I can remember.  Maybe not always for a paycheck, but no matter what I was doing there always seemed to be a wrench close by.  Eventually, all that tinkering led to a chance to be a mechanic at a real shop. Actual diagnostics took a lot longer to learn, but it’s fair to say most all of us started off doing minor repairs or on the lube rack. Back when I started, my diagnostic skills and tools weren’t all that special. Usually nothing more more than a rubber hose held up to my ear to listen for knocks or taps, or whatever pieces of equipment the repair shop had on hand. It took time to learn how to diagnose a problem correctly, but even then, I was hooked.  I couldn’t get enough of those mechanical marvels that travel up and down the highway. 

         Tools and techniques have changed over the years, and every mechanic has had to change with each new technical innovation. These days, the new technology seems to change even faster than a person can imagine. It used to be the hand tools that changed as rapidly as the new models were introduced, now it’s the laptop requirements and the software that are constantly changing more than the hand tools.  

I’m seeing components such as the power steering pump, water pump and even the air conditioning compressors slowly being replaced by electronics.  I’ve got a lifetime of tools and techniques I’ve learned to take care of all those fluids, belts, and hoses, as well as how to replace all those components.  But, being a mechanic for life you have to expect changes like that.  I’ve got drawers full of specialty sockets for timing gears, distributors and that odd looking soup bowl for removing those Northstar water pumps. Now, they’re just another one of those tools that will end up in a lower corner of the tool box along with an ever increasing pile of outdated scanners that are gathering dust.

         For me, I’m still amazed at how many tools and techniques for repairing cars I’ve used for so many years are now just a lifetime of memories. The computers and data lines have taken over the automotive world, and the state-of-the-art electronics can be overwhelming to anyone unfamiliar with the modern car.  Making a lifelong career as a mechanic means you’ll experience a lot of these changes in your tools, as well as the cars. 

      It is a new and different automotive world than ever before, but even with all these changes, and the years that I’ve been at this, I’m still amazed and in awe of the mechanical wonders we drive down the road.  It’s that fascination of searching for a problem, the latest technology, and the mechanical nature of the modern automobile that gets to a person whose life revolves around maintaining them.

With all these changes it takes years to get familiar with the systems and to actually get good at this job.  You’ll make a few mistakes, a few discoveries, but all in all, you’ll learn from them both. This learning process goes along with my favorite saying, “Experience comes from yesterday’s mistakes. Knowledge comes from not making the same mistake tomorrow.”  That says it all. Then, you might branch out of the service bay into other forms of mechanic work.  Maybe as a service writer, working in the parts department, maybe owning and running your own shop, or perhaps as an instructor bringing up the next generation of mechanics.  Deep down we’re all still a mechanic just in a different way.  

No matter what direction your future holds, you’re still a mechanic for life, and that’s just the way we like it.